Angelia Vernon Menchan
Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on amazon.com. You can access her bibliography on www.amazon.com search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679
Monday, October 22, 2012
On September 1st I challenged myself to start a new series and THE BE CAREFUL SERIES was born, as of this morning, October 22, there are now 8 in the series and there are more stories to tell. They are as listed: Be Careful What You Ask For Jay Returns: Be Careful Deuce Dennis and Alicia: Be Careful Trois What's Called Family: Be Careful Final Quartre? These four are compiled in one book, THE BE CAREFUL SERIES Chery's Challenges: A Be Careful Story Book Five Janice's Journey: A Be Careful Story Book Six Chenise Changes: A Be Careful Story Book Seven Jaguar Grows!: A Be Careful Story Book Eight CLICK ON THE LINKS, READ THE SYNOPSIS AND REVIEWS, AND THEN ONE CLICK AND ENJOY! JUST LOVE! angelia!
Wednesday, October 10, 2012
Sometimes we just want it to make sense even when it doesn't. It's not a lack of faith that occasionally make us ask, Why is water wet, Why are kid molested, Why are some rich and others poor, Why do some live to 100, others die in their twenties... I know it's all explained in the bible and am totally uninterested in an expository discourse... It's just that sometimes, I want it to make sense when it doesn't...
Tuesday, August 21, 2012
Title: Mixed Marriage by Angelia Menchan Amazon: 5 Heading: Compromise Schae and Jay are back in Mixed Marriage by Angelia Menchan. Here you have a couple where they both worship und...er a different denomination; Jay is a Muslim and Schae a Christian. This obstacle was never an issue for them as they fell in love and entered into wedded bliss. However, now that they are married Jay wants Schae to attend the mosque with him and his sons they are raising together. Schae being strong in her beliefs, she did not have any desire to go to the mosque. However, when a person from the past resurfaces, she is a bit uneasy about not wanting to join her man at the mosque. Does she really have anything to worry about? Regina James has returned to Center City. She had been gone for quite a while; nevertheless anyone who had any interaction with her remembers her well. She was an addict, but now she is clean and looking to make a life for herself. The life she is trying to get into might not be conducive for some of the people in Center City. What exactly is she up to? Who will be affected with her being back? Delia is getting her groove back with Thane. When they entered into their relationship it was simply to have fun. As time passed, they realized there was more to what they had than either of them expected. When Delia tried to get her personal situation in order, an unforeseen event happens causing her to think about her part in the matter. Will she and Thane be able to weather the storm? Or will this tragedy cause them to realize their relationship had run its course? I like the stories that Ms. Menchan writes. She creates characters that I cannot get enough of. I should not like Regina because she is the antagonist, but I did. She had me laughing and shaking my head. You will have to read Mixed Marriages to understand why. I recommend all of Angelia Menchan’s books including this one to mature readers looking for drama without the foul language and excessive bedroom action. I also believe that readers looking for deep, speak your mind type characters will enjoy these stories. .
Friday, August 10, 2012
MIXED MARRIAGES and Other Relationships coming September 10, 2012. “Schaelonda are you saying you won’t even consider attending the Mosque with me?” Jay looked at his wife of two months, as she prepared breakfast for their sons. The boys were a product of a relationship Jay had with Schae’s sister, but she had died and Jay had done a stint in prison and the boys had been awarded to Schae’s mother, and finally Schae. He and Schae had been enemies for a while but had been brought together by the boys, later falling in love and getting married. But the fact that Jay was a committed Muslim and Schae a Christian was becoming a bone of contention for them. He wanted her to attend services with him and the boys, but she refused to. Turning her golden eyes to him, she simply stared at him with a slight smile on her lips. “Well Schae?” “Thanks for remembering my name. No Jay, I am not going to the Mosque. I love you and you knew when we got married I was a Christian, we decided I would attend my church and take the boys every other Sunday and that you could take them to the mosque with you. I have zero interest in your religion.” He stared at the women he absolutely loved. She was so beautiful and serene looking but stubborn should have been her middle name. “That is very close minded, don’t you think?” “Not at all, Jay I believe in Jesus Christ as my personal savior and as such I'm not interested in going to mosque, a Buddhist temple, the Jehovah’s Witness or the Church of Latter Day Saints. I have no issue with you going to mosque. I will miss you once I’m in heaven but here on earth I think we are good.” “You think that’s cute, don’t you, but I really need you to honor me on this Schae.” “I know you do, and I have an issue with that because we discussed this. Jay I don’t believe in Allah and all that.” “Not even for the boys?” “Jay don’t use the boys like that. They are happy to go with each of us.” “Fine, but I'm not done with this, at all?” He leaned over to kiss her before walking from the room. She knew he was serious but she also knew she wasn’t going to change her mind. She had an appointment to talk to her pastor about this mixed marriage of hers.
Tuesday, July 17, 2012
Join me in welcoming the very prolific and busy, Deatri King-Bey to RAMBLINGS. Deatri is a multi-genre author and developmental editor who still finds time to encourage and mentor other authors. She is also the founder of many online reading commnunities, including Facebook's BLACK ROMANCE AND WOMEN'S FICTION BOOK CLUB! Welcome Deatri!
Tuesday, May 1, 2012
There have been so many times, too many to count when someone has said to me, 'Angelia, I said exactly what you said, and they took it wrong." And my response has always been it isn't necessarily what you say, but how you say it, or even the look on your face when you said it, or how you held your mouth when saying it or something. Everyone cannot say things to everyone. Much of what we can say and how we can say it is dependent upon our relationship with the persons and the arena in which it is said. Point of fact, is you can say a great deal to a person one to one, that you dare not say publicly. I think that is why many dont take sometimes good advice, because the advisor chooses a public arena to give the advice or make blanket statements that could be relevant to anyone. Also, the person has to feel the advice is well meant. Recently I sent the cover of my new book to someone and they told me the model had been used and overused in so many ways and that they felt my book was worthy of a better cover. Before I could close the email, I was researching a new cover and I was so grateful because I knew it was well meant and had my best interests at heart. And sometimes the best thing to say is nothing. It is really necessary for some of life's lesson's to come from living, we all need to experience things for ourselves. Go through, so to speak, so we come out on the other side, knowing exactly what didnt work and what did. Some of the best advice I have every received has been through listening to advice that may not have been intended for me. But othertimes I needed to dive right in, get wet. No one can learn to swim by simply placing on her toes in the water. And sometimes saying what is good advice has to be said in such way the person wishes to receive and believe it. But, I am just RAMBLING...of course. Check out Aura Brown: Life Choices angelia!
Monday, April 9, 2012
Monday, March 26, 2012
“Stand up Center City and welcome your new mayor, your first black mayor, Malcolm Douglass Black!” Everyone in the overcrowded civic center stood to their feet clapping and screaming. Immediately drums and keyboards sounded and Malcolm Broaii-Black and Muhammad Dubois Brown took the stage playing their hearts out in honor of their father and stepfather, respectively. Malcolm Broaii-Black, better known as MII and Muhammad known to his family as Muha were an outstanding musical collaboration. The young men had never worked together but were both musical prodigies, with their own music companies and their combined expertise on drums and keyboards brought the room to its feet. Malcolm sat on the podium next to his wife, Cinnamon; both had tears soaring down their cheeks. They had overcome a very negative political race to stand as the first black Mayor and First Lady of Center City, Florida. You could literally taste change in the air. The couple, known for their philanthropy and uplifting of the disenfranchised and the city wanted and craved the change. They had only been married a short time, but had a long, complex history. But one thing that was crystal clear was how much they loved each other. They were a team. He held her hand with his eyes fastened on her. She looked back at him with naked love and admiration. Her ex-husband, William Brown looked at the two of them, giving thumbs up. During the campaign, he had literally tried to ruin them, but had finally come to his senses. He was still in love with Cinnamon, but knew he only had himself to blame for the demise of his marriage. His constant cheating had ended a 30 year marriage and lost him the respect of his children. He was working on all of those relationships. He was also trying to make a love connection with his mistress, Khadijah Owa. She loved him and had been there for him. Reaching for her hand he pulled her with him to congratulate the new mayor. Malcolm stood as he saw Brown and Khadijah walking towards them. Cinnamon stood with him. She was pleased to see Brown with Khadijah, he looked almost content and she looked as if she had her ring kissed by the pope. “Congratulations Blacks, the world has really changed, there must be as many white folks in here as black. I never thought I would live to see it.” Brown’s admiration sounded genuine. Black pulled him into an embrace. Afterwards, Brown turned to Cinnamon. “Hey Lady.” “Hey B, Hey K, Khadijah I hope you don’t mind me calling you K? You are family now, so you get a nickname.” Khadijah swallowed down the lump in her throat. She nodded, unable to speak. Reaching for Cinnamon, she hugged her for several minutes. Cinnamon wrapped her arms around her. The men stood watching, Malcolm thinking, “Glad that woman is mine.” Brown was thinking, “I was a fool.” Khadijah saw the looks on both men’s faces and understood, she had been Brown’s mistress for years and Cinnamon had been kind to her. Cinnamon understood what many women didn’t is that the mistress isn’t the problem, the cheating husband is.
Tuesday, March 6, 2012
I am often asked why I am always talking about other writers books and sharing links et, al. My answer is simply, ‘That is how it’s done…” Then inevitably, I am asked, “Even if they don’t do the same for you?” My answer is ESPECIALLY then. Because here is the thing, I am mandated by God to give, and give cheerfully and if my little link sharing or high fiving a book will get someone to purchase someone else’s work, then I have done my part in the giving and my bounty flows from that. A hand open in giving is never empty and my hands are living testimonies. And that whole do unto others as they have done unto you is blessing defeating crap. Yes I said crap. I am delighted when people support me and my work and giggle all up and inside myself when they share it, and there are quite a few, but I don’t expect it and my supporting them isn’t dependent upon what they have done for me. Mr. M and I was talking about this very thing last night as that as blessed as we are, we have no choice but to spread it around in as many ways as possible and everything doesn’t necessarily have to be reciprocal. I will also be quite honest and say I support those things I believe in and utilize. If you see me supporting something it isn’t to get something, no one has slid me any ‘fetti or nothing. I simply read or use a product and I feel the need to shout it from the rooftops, if someone benefits from it then more the better. Babies, we are going to have to stop attaching a price tag and a get back to everything we do. Because that IS messing with the blessing. We have to learn to do those things that are heart led and don’t fool with those that aren’t. Be about what you believe in and appreciate, then go tell it on the mountains, over the hills and far away…. I know, I know… LOVE! Angelia!
Monday, March 5, 2012
2012 has been an interesting year in its infancy, it seems like I woke up in January with more of a business mind about how I am going to handle my books and my other ventures and it has been full steam ahead. I chose to embrace some things that others found scary, mostly of the unknown. I signed up for Amazon KDP which basically is a program that Amazon offers that allows you to offer your ebooks exclusively through them in 90 day intervals and within that period of time, you can offer your book free for up to 5 days. I researched it, prayed about it, then moved on with it. I chose not to allow any voice other than God's voice and my own intellect and instinct guide me. I heard the naysayers, read the conspiracy theorist bloggers and still went on and did my own thing. You know why, because I am a grown woman, who owns her own product, copyrights all her books, keep meticulous files of my work and and am willing to take risks to realize my dreams. Now do I think for one moment that Amazon does not have motives, of course they do. They wish to run the book world and as such they are making deals hither and yon and to and fro. But, they are not hoodwinking me or landing me on a fake plymoth rock. I know what I am doing and why I am doing it. I was raised by women who raised me to be fearless and to rely on God and my own smarts and it has taken me far and wide. I came late to publishing ebooks because I wasn't much of an ebook reader; but once I researched it, I realized as an independent publisher, it was win, win. I tried a few other venues, but early on I found that amazon worked for me, and that was before KDP was an issue. It just felt right. I had worked a few years ago with the amazon shorts program and that had earned me a slew of readers. And frankly the idea of giving away my work actually appealed to me on so many levels. The first being I believe in what I write and I feel that if people read it, they will talk about it and others will then read it. Ebooks also allows me to offer my product at a very affordable rate, where almost any reader can afford to purchase and it allows me to publish a plethora of books to give away, from short shorts, to novellas and slowly but surely build a nice sized reader base. It has been so wonderful to hear from all the readers who read one book that may have been free or greatly reduced and then go back and purchase everything I have published. There is rarely a day when my ebooks are not selling. Sometimes it is in trickles, other times it pours rather nicely and it does not bother me one bit, about it being exclusive. I know some who have other devices will probably say I missed sales by not offering my book in other venues, but the way I see it is, people support what they wish to. Secondly, we as writers, publishers, particularly independent ones must do that which is best for us. And we must be strong minded about it. There is not a day that passes when I don't read something negative, putting down the quality of KDP ebooks or saying that people are stealing work, or that we are dumbing down the market, etc. and while I know the risk is there for all of that, I am also savvy enough to know that sometimes people just aren't thrilled with others bounty and will often throw shade on another's sunshine. Also, free ebooks allow ME to read those I might not have and I am here to tell you that if I love the free book, you are going to get more and more of my money. My only advice is that if you believe in your product and what you have to offer, you must do the legwork and research yourself and then decide what is best for you. You must also work on placing your best work forward and being open to critiques both wanted and unwanted. And please thicken your skin, because every book isn't for every reader and some can be downright brutal about it, they will trash your work and tell everyone within earshot how much they disliked it. This publishing business is not for that faint of heart, because putting your work out there for view is much like walking around naked in public, hoping people like your body. Some will, some won't and usually the ones that won't will have the most to say. But, keep your head up and focus on the supportive ones...because they make it all worth it. And at the end of the day recognize that this venture is here today and may be gone tomorrow...but I am one who doesn't spend a great deal of time on the what if I hads, I simply do my work, pray fervently and allow God to work in my behalf, because I know, uneqivocally that not a bit of this is done under my own power.... BE BLESSED! angelia
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Malcolm walked into the pipe smoke filled club. There were about forty of the wealthiest black and Hispanic men in Florida in the well-appointed room. The furnishings were solid redwood and leather and the walls were appointed with paintings by famous African-American artists. The waiters and bartenders were all beautiful women dressed in tuxedos. Jazz played softly in the background. A tall distinguished man walked up taking Malcolm's hand shaking it heartily. "Mayor Black it is a pleasure to finally meet you. I have been a fan for years but you are hard to know. By the way, I'm Wilson Thomson. "My brother, I know who you are. You own more convenience stores than the Arabs and Indians." “So brother, if you know who we are, what is the reluctance to network?” “Truthfully, I have found that in most men’s organizations there isn’t much networking going on as there are shenanigans. I’m grown and my frat boy days are over. Just not interested in strippers and all that male bonding nonsense and I’m certainly not going to sit around with a bunch of brothers married to non-black women, listening to them bash sisters.” Every man in the room was silent. Drinks had stopped midway to mouths. Thane smiled inside. For several seconds Wilson stared at Malcolm as though he was stunned; then he fell out laughing. A few other men chuckled as well. “Well damn, man why don’t you tell us how you really feel? I know what you mean, though and my wife is a black as you are. But there are some good organizations out there and this is one of them. I’m not gonna tell you we don’t talk shit, and eat bad food and drink expensive liquor because we do. But, we are also about the business of our community, educating children, making job opportunities for the unemployed and all that. We know what you're about Mr. Black and we admire that about you. We won’t hold your past against you either.” “You can hold it against me if you wish. I’m good with that and I’m not holding anything against you. I just don’t run in packs. I can work with anyone but my hanging-out days are over. If you require that I’m not your man.” “I totally get that, especially being newly married to the Queen of Center City. Makes sense to me.” Malcolm chose to let that remark pass. Thane cleared his throat. “Actually, we wanted to talk to you about incorporating The Learning Centers. We all know you have singlehandedly run the one here in Center City and most of the overhead comes out of your pocket. We would like to start them around the state. Maybe four brothers fund one and that way by years end we can have ten. Most of us cannot afford to do it singlehandedly, but we can together.” Malcolm’s interest was peaked, he actually liked the idea. “Go on….” Thane laid out the plans, discussing how the centers would operate. “Man, as mayor, I won’t be able to run the centers, in fact, my wife is now the official owner of the Center City Center.” “I have no problem with that. She's a smart, powerful, gorgeous woman.” Malcolm threw Wilson a look. “She is. Let me talk to her and I'll meet with you and we'll see what I can do.” “Of course, I don’t make decisions without talking to Mrs. Thomson. Now can we have huge steaks and aged brandy and talk about women?” Malcolm threw him a grin. “Steak and brandy sounds good, that other shit, I will leave to you guys. I know too many good women.” For the next two hours, Malcolm assessed the men in the room. His impression was they were all good, well-heeled brothers who wanted to make a difference. A few admitted he had been their business mentor, unofficially. The men found him to be fascinating and reserved and knew that being part of his team could only be a good thing.
Tuesday, February 7, 2012
Yesterday I responded to a post on FB about natural hair and before I was done I was engaged in a discourse with a man who said, "Black women who look up to Michelle Obama hate themselves and so does she because she does not rock a fro in the White House." I asked the question isn't it her choice as to whether she wishes to wear a fro or not and that maybe she was never so inclined. He came back with, "not choosing to do it is a sign of self-hatred and that we are idolizing the Obamas because they aren't very 'black'..." I am paraphrasing but that was the gist of it. Wow, just wow. I am unable to wrap my mind around the fact that when we are struggling with HIV/AIDS, obesity and hunger in children, the lack of jobs, educational opportunities, poverty and class warfare, all we can think of is that same old tired hair story. SERIOUSLY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! The writer seems to think that if we won the hair war and all sisters walked around with 'nappy' naturals we would then be a solid group. Are you kidding me. What about me, who has always been in the fight for the empowerment of young sisters and all young people. My hair grows out of my skull, kind of curly-wavy, does this mean I hate me or the fact that every now and again I choose to do something different with it, color it reddish, brownish, what the hell everish... This infuriates and saddens me that we are so narrowminded about stuff that really doesnt matter at the end of the day. I asked him would it have been better, if Mrs. Obama wore a fro or some dreads, but never did anything about assisting military families or not done any work on the behalf of health education and fighting obesity in children. Of course he didn't directly answer that, he said, "I hear you Angelia, but went on to say he felt the hair war was a worthy are." Well, I'll be damned...if I am going to die on that battlefield. I am willing to die on the grounds of jobs for young people, equal educational opportunities. not having babies we cannot care for, being allowed to praise the LORD openly, but I will not determine who I support and what I do by whether or not someone straightens her hair or is happy to be nappy....there are SOOOO MANY BIGGER ISSUES... angelia
Monday, February 6, 2012
This is the textbook, webster defintion of forgive: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon
Which basically means we let the feeling of resentment and anger against another go. We pardon them of whatever hurt they have caused us. Also from a biblical perspective we are asked to forgive others as God has forgiven us....
What you will not find in any dictionary or the bible is an instance where we are mandated to hang out with or invite into our homes or go to parties with, et al. those we have forgiven. In fact, on many, many ocassions, the bible reminds us that there are those when we are on our walk with God that we are best to leave alone.
It always amuses me that when I tell someone that I don't hang out with or have a relationship with someone they remind me that I am supposed to forgive the person. I am going to say it one more time, FORGIVING A PERSON DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO ROLL WITH THEM, CONDONE WHAT THEY HAVE DONE OR AGREE WITH THEIR MADNESS...It simply means you have freed yourself from the burden of walking around mad at them all the time, feeling resentment against them and acting as if you need to exact some kind of revenge.
I have had to forgive a gang of folk in my life, and many have forgiven me. There are those who I have still maintained relationships with, but there are others who I prayed about and knew that for my own peace of mind and spiritual growth, I had to let go.
And sometimes we need to really think about what we are asking people to do. For instance if you are raped or molested or beaten almost to death by someone, it is in your best interest to be able to forgive that person, so you can go on with your life. HOWEVER, it does not mean you need to then jump in the car with a rapist, saying well I had to forgive you, so let's ride. I know that sounds extreme but I want it to sound that way.
I have found myself in situations where I forgave and tried to be around the person again and in short order, I was dealing with the same situation again, that didn't make me a serial forgiver, it made me a glutton for punishment.
And God always gives us warnings and messages about people, we must use discernment and be careful, because everyone is not good for us.
I remember my mama used to say, "The time of day belongs to a dog." Which translated to, we should speak to people, show them kindness and be as gracious as we can.
But that same mama said, "If you lay down with dogs, you will get up with fleas." Which translated to, after you have been de-flead and have forgiven the dog and even provided for his care, you don't have to them jump back in the bed with him.
So all I am saying is this, if someone has harmed you, or wronged you or done some egregious thing that may have not even been to you, but goes against all you know as right, please forgive them, free yourself of the burden of carrying it around, but do not allow anyone to make you feel bad or unholy because you refuse to be caught up in all that again...
Wednesday, February 1, 2012
I was thinking this morning about when Mr. M first joined the Army, it was 1977 and we were not yet married. He was on his way, in his words to prepare a future for us. I recall that brisk, fall day I handed him a poem by Nikki Giovanni, entitled, SIT AND WAIT, in essence I was telling him I would wait for him, I loved him that much. I recall being told by so many women, that he would probably find someone else and there were the men who were telling me, I shouldn't wait, but wait I did and come August we will be married, joyfully for 34 years. This writing thing has been much like that. The first couple of years I churned about, writing book after book, trying to make it happen. I stayed on the road in my car, going to this fair, that festival, this house, that bookstore, trying to get my work out there.... The next couple of years I was tired and rested on my imaginary laurels, books still sold, but I will be honest with you, I was too tired to care, so it was really grace. But, last year I made a conscious decision to revamp what I was doing and how I was doing it. I revamped how I did business and who I did business with. I had to learn to weed the helpers from the harmers and I also had to think outside of the box. By the middle of the year I jumped out and started selling ebooks and it changed the game for me, I could get my work out to the masses without having to kill myself to do it and I could give the same product for less to more. I also had to check those I did business with, I had to learn what networking really meant and that everyone who opens their mouth to speak doesn't necessarily speak for you... Nowadays, I am doing my thing and every single day I am surprised by the love and graciousness of those who are so supportive it makes me cry...with joy and thankfulness...I JUST HAD TO WAIT... angelia
Tuesday, January 31, 2012
Monday, January 30, 2012
January 2012 is almost over and it has been a grand month for me. Perfect, not at all, but I learned a long time ago that perfection doesn’t exist in this life. I am sure there are some of you beating your heads about the wall now, screaming at me, “I am perfect, I want perfection, I am a perfectionist.” I pray fervently for you, I do. :} But while not perfect it has been so blessed in and amongst the trials. I turned a year older on the 19th, no sadness about aging here, just so glad to be here! I published my 14th book on the same day and this month has been a good month for Angelia Vernon Menchan books. It has also been a month of acceptance of already known truths. One of the hardest things for me is not being able to rely on a person’s word. I know there are always extenuating circumstances, but if every single time a person says they are going to do a thing, and they almost never do, then there you have it. I have had to learn to let them go away quietly, don’t make a big fuss about it, but find other venues and other ways to do a thing. I don’t even have regrets because the way I see it is, obviously the time wasn’t right for me to reap the way I am reaping in this season. So there it is. I have been on this book journey now for 6 years, today in fact was exactly six years ago that I published my first book and the road has been bumpy, not hard, not unfair, but bumpy. I had so much to learn and the biggest thing I had to learn was patience. There were so many mixed messages, with agendas. Sometimes I couldn’t see the pages of the book for the covers, you know akin to the flowers for the trees. Ha Ha Ha! Anyway, but the one thing I did learn is that every single bump provides a lesson as long as you are open to it. And I am going to say here again that I am led by God and not by man on anything and I truly believe that what God has for me, no one can block and I know what is necessary to do what I do, but I also knew to stay planted in how I was doing. The other day I was looking at the cover of my latest book designed by my husband and tears popped in my eyes, because more than one person had tried to encourage me not to use his covers, but to go with this one or that one and every single time I would almost listen, I would get this oops upside the head from God, saying literally, “What God had put together…” Nowadays Ican’t say how many compliments I get on the covers and in so many venues it doesn’t even matter. I have an ebook that has a generic cover and it sells, sells, sells because guess what, people actually want to read what I write, cover be damned. Oh what a blessing and a revelation to this woman. I am simply Rambling this morning because God has begun a new work in me and I am GRATEFUL, GRATEFUL, GRATEFUL… Be Blessed!
Thursday, January 26, 2012
Last night I was in a meeting in church and it started off beautifully, our chaplain stood, giving us a wonderful devotion about unity and what we say and how we say it, felt awesome, however in short order it was as though, she hadn't said a word. The WORLD stepped in the room and took over. Suddenly it was about personal agendas, an unwillingness to concede or agreee, the old guard against the new guard, et al. Mostly, I sat quietly, at times wondering why I rush to such meetings, when I know full well, how things are going to go... And then it hit me, because I always hope and pray for better...pray that we have checked ourselves and our agendas at the door before we get there and focus on what our mission is ultimately supposed to be about, serving God and be of service to those at our church. I came to regular worship, later in my life, I had been to church, but had never been enmeshed in church culture, because I had only ever heard that things like this went on, and of course I know that it is life and goes on everywhere. However, as such, I always check myself and my agenda, I have made sure that I don't raise my hand to serve on every committee, or lead this that or the other, because I know for sure that if I do, then it becomes about who sees me doing what and who knows who I am, et al. I have been writing books for over six years and it is only now that people at my church even know it because I vowed to myself that I would not use church as a vehicle to sell books. The ones that do know beyond my close friends are those that were told by others who read my books and recommended them. It is so easy to get caught up in church as a socializing venue and lose sight that the mission of the church is bringing people to Christ, so they might be saved. I may sound a bit self-righteous, but that isn't my intent. We live in a world filled with mess, just turn on the television or walk outside. And with things being as they are, we should be able to find peace in harmony in our church and in our home. I walked out of the meeting last night, thinking, I really don't need all this. But by the time I got home, I was pretty prayed up and I checked myself, realizing that I must soldier on, praying for change and trying in my very limited way to make a bit of a difference, I know for a fact that God places us where he does, so when can do what he guides us to do. BE BLESSED!
Wednesday, January 25, 2012
Some of my best thinking happens in the shower, I wake up and immediately, I pray and read my scriptures, and by the time I make my way to the shower, I am wide awake and ready for thinking. This morning, I was going over in my mind why is it that one must ask for things, there is someone I went out on a limb for and every single time I need the person to do what they promised to do, I have to ask...what is that all about? Really... Then I thought it just must be me...some flaw in me that makes me have to ask... Last night I checked my phone and there was this message from a hometown local newspaper guy and he had received responses on a press release I had sent out and he wanted me to know that he was glad to have done it, and that he had been promoting me without me having to ask or send him anything. I told him that I would take out an ad in his upcoming release and he said, "Mrs. Menchan, you don't seem to get it that I truly support you and that if you want to run an ad, okay but you have run so many and it isn't necessary. You really don't have to ask for everything." Tears popped in my eyes, because if I were as honest with myself as I am with others I would have to admit that if feels like that sometimes. That if I don't ask or pay, it isn't going to happen. Now mind you, I know I have a do or die crew and they are all about me...but there are those times when I know deep in my gut, that unless I ask or pay, it ain't going down. Mostly, I am cool with all that because I was raised to pay my own way, not bite off more than I can chew or pay for and there are no free lunches, but sometimes, every now and then, that soft vulnerable part of me me, is poked and I feel it. And usually it is because of kind words like the ones spoken to me. Last week, I was talking on line with my super-supportive, daughter/sister/friend, Dr. Folake Taylor and she said, "Mama Deep, it seems that because we never say we are overwhelmed or need something people may think we are perfect." I told her at the time and meant it, "Baby, I will admit when I am struggling..." And I will, but it is hard as all heck to admit that to get something from those who vow to be down or on the team, I have to always ask...and sometimes I feel the burn of it... BE BLESSED~ angelia!
Tuesday, January 24, 2012
The other day I was asked the question, “Angelia, how did you know the publishing industry would become so viable for independent publishers?” I was honest and admitted that I didn’t have a clue. When I published my first book in January 2006, self-pubbers were considered to be just a step above, the low. There were many in the game who had started out publishing their own work, but their holy grail, pie in the sky was to get a deal with a publishing house. Frankly, that never occurred to me, at first, I simply wanted to write and then when I discovered that I could only write about certain things as a black woman of a certain age, I knew damn well, that wasn’t going to work for me. Did I receive flak? Heck to the yeah. There were those who thought I wouldn’t sell any books, there were others who basically said many things they thought they were covering up and then it was the comments about how narrative my work was, or how old my female characters were. Did I listen to them? I sure did to a certain extent, especially when it was about the craft of writing and how to truly self-publish, but the other stuff, I tossed over my shoulder and relied on my faith and me. The one thing I knew for sure is that if God blessed my dream of writing books, he would bless me as a traditionally published author or as a self-published. And he has, more than I can say here. One of the most interesting ways is that he often sends my naysayers my way, asking for assistance or asking to be part of it all. Do I laugh in their faces, oh no, not ever, that isn’t my way and any little thing I can do, I will because you know what, this thing isn’t at all about me. It is about the words and who they reach and what we can do with what we get. I love writing, I love publishing, I love being able to use a bit of the money I receive for causes I support, I love being able to talk to people about my journey and how green I was when I started. But the biggest thing of all, is I love owning myself, being accountable to me and my readers as an author and not feeling the need to be trendy or flowy because what I learned is that ultimately you can write the most perfectly crafted, timely book in the world, but if it doesn’t resonate with anyone, then…what! I thank God for allowing me to do this thing I do and I thank those who believed in me and those who didn’t because at the end of the day, it has worked out, and I AM COUNTING IT ALL JOY… Angelia!
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
Monday, January 16, 2012
Friday, January 6, 2012
What stands in the way of many is not so much being poor, as it is being poor in acts and mind, what I call poverty minded. Poverty mindedness, leads us to believe that we will never have anything anyway, so why not spend our money on things we know we cannot afford. Let's eat three meals out in a week and pay as much as it would cost to purchase groceries for a whole week and then have to borrow money to eat until payday....POVERTY MINDED. Let's get our paychecks and go shopping, even though we know we have bills due, because when we look good, we feel good, yet we know we will feel mighty bad when we are behind on things and creditors are calling us or our utilities are off and it is cold outside......POVERTY MINDED Let's purchase alcohol and weed like it's groceries and wonder why we don't have anything....POVERTY MINDED Let's purchase cell phones and designer clothing for our babies and children, although we really have no place to live, not really, but we want our children to have everything....POVERTY MINDED Let's feel that if we cannot have the job we want, earning the money we deserve, we won't work at all, or if we do get a job, let's go in if we and when we feel like it, looking any old kind of way, and maybe they will fire us and we can collect unemployment.....POVERTY MINDED. I know some who read this will see it is judgmental and I promise to God it is not, but I have seen so many people who I love and know behave in this manner and they never get where they are going because they don't know that poverty of the mind and how we act are killing us... There really is a rather simple method to moving ahead... If you do not have a job, at all and you are offered a job that is legal, even if you dont really want that job, take it. I took a job a few years ago, that was temporary in nature that paid peanuts, much below what I had been earning and that job morphed into the excellent career I have today...honest to God and I didnt do anything that was particularly brilliant. I went to work ontime everyday, dressed and behaved appropriately, learned as much as I could about the current job and other jobs up the chain and planned and worked and learned my way to them. In ten years my salary was multiplied many times over...and I didnt sell out! So once you have that job, do what it takes to stay there and move up, and if there is no move up potential, work as if there is and always search for better employment, not leaving current employment until you have the other job. I promise you, you will improve your circumstances. Also, if you can't afford a home, you can't afford a luxury car, cars depreciate the minute you drive off the lot. So until you can afford it, dont do it. Move into a home you can pay for and drive a car you can afford and when you get chunks of money, like income tax returns, do something with them like pay off bills or save... And please, please, please don't go into debt with a bunch of ish, you wont even remember you bought. Also choose carefully who you tie yourself to, I can assure you that if you jump the broom with or live with someone who doesnt want anything or to go anywhere, it is more likely they will drag you down, than you dragging them up, especially if you loooooooves them and cant live without them. If anything I have said here is not applicable to you, please disregard, but if you know anyone who can benefit from it, toss it over your shoulder like so much salt and maybe it will season someone else... I TOLD YOU I WAS COMING STRAIGHT, NO CHASER, THIS YEAR, BECAUSE YA'LL KNOW I LOVE YOU, RIGHT... angelia PREORDER FAMILY, FRIENDS,FOES? A Malcolm Black Book
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
Years ago on this very blog, Gwyneth Bolton called me a Provocative Womanist and I embraced that, because I guess anyone who is as honest as I am is provocative and I am passionate about issues that concern women, especially growing women. Because while growing women are being educated at ever increasing rates, they arent learning how to love themselves properly. Far too many educated, smart women are taking all kinds of madness to be coupled, in the pursuit of love and sex. They are laying down with men they know don't love them and who in many cases are openly involved with other women because they want to be held and loved. But baby girls, that isnt being loved, that is being sexed...and the two aren't the same thing. Even more disheartening to me is how much they are disrespecting other women, calling them the b word and literally fighting them in the streets and always feeling in competition with the next women, without realizing how much more respected we would all be if we were about listening to our sisters, being there for them, helping them in the things they don't know and learning from them the things we don't know. I watched my mom and her sisters and her friends and they were about each other. They collectively took care of the children and when one of them had a dollar all of them had a dollar. They fussed and cussed but never let the sun go down on the love they had for each other. I feel that way about my sister and my friends. We squabble and take rests one from the other, sometimes. But we pray for each other and together we laugh at our own shortcomings with each other and we don't stand for anyone bringing harm to the other. I have been in a few situation where drama crept in, and my first thing to do was try to make peace, when that doesnt work, I make haste and move on. I can love you from afar, but I dont roll with mess. We have too much to do, too many growing women,to teach, nurture, inspire and be models for and if they see us in our mess, how do they escape messiness. Even when writing fiction my goal is to CREATE provocative, flawed, women who mess up and have friends who hold them accountable and who hold the growing women the same. It is a cold world out there and sometimes, every now and then, we all need that sister, friend we can call and just be ourselves with and if we return that and they return that and on and on, it is so amazing what we can do and how we can raise these children of ours. So yes, Provocative Woman I am... PLEASE PREORDER:
Tuesday, January 3, 2012
I have been asked so many times, when do you know? If you are in love? If you should leave, quit, stay, go... And the pat answer is, "You'll know when..." And as much as non-answer as that is, you will know, whether you do something about it or not. See, that is the dilemna in most cases, people know and they don't have the courage or in some cases, the energy to make a decision, so they feel stuck. Scenario: He knows he loves her, wants her, would like to jump the broom, but his does not say a word. Because maybe he doesnt know how, or he feels a man doesn't do that or his boys may have him feeling some kind of way about it...and he does nothing. She leaves and he knows right then and right there, that when is now, he knows, but what he does is something else altogether. ################ Scenario: You have been on the job for years and years and people around you have moved onward and upward, you never applied for anything, yet moan about what has been done to you. You knew when those jobs were posted you should have applied, but maybe you thought because you had been there so long, you should have been given the job, but you weren't, but you still know when. ################ Scenario: She has done everything she could for them. Helped them get jobs, they worked a few weeks and quit, after the first couple, she knew when. But, their love and approval was tied to how the felt about her and she felt if she didn't they wouldn't love her and even when she did, they didn't...but she knew when. ################# Ever found yourself in a scenario like this, of course, most of us have. I found myself in one today, that I had washed my hands of months ago, right when I knew when. However, it lingered on and on, festering like that boil under the skin, that is infected and hurts every now and then but is bearable because of course some pain is just necessary, right? No actually not, I knew that what transpired today would occur and I should have sterilized my scalpel and lanced the boil, allowing it to drain, and then disinfected it, covered with a bandage, having it itch as it healed. But, no I was consumed with my role as caretaker and I allowed it to ooze out, dripping down my skin, slightly smelly,limping to the doctor,being chastised, given medicine and being told to, "Call me in six days, so we can see if it has healed." Well, I knew when and because I didn't act in as timely a fashion as I knew to do...I will have to live with that tiny scar. Having said that I know I will know when again and do the something similiar, and It won't be because I don't know when, but because I care, a lot... PLEASE PREORDER FAMILY, FRIENDS, FOES? A Malcolm Black Book