Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on You can access her bibliography on search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan

Contact information:
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Wednesday, December 31, 2008



2009 is upon us and I am ready, I have never felt as optimistic and as relaxed as I do pending this year, so much happened last year, some crazy stuff and some amazing blessings...things that changed me, changed the way I relate to people and the way I write books...When I started out, I didn't know what I wanted to do, I just wanted to write, but as time passed and I listened to my heart, I knew I had to write something that meant something, even if only to me...because otherwise it was just words on paper.

I know that I did that with Is NO Not Clear Enough For You and most importantly with SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation. They were both such challenges...
Last December it took three revisions to get Is NO to work...
This December it took four for SCHAE'S STORY and when I got my first printing just days before a signing I discovered the typesetting was wacky...but I did what I knew to do...I talked to my readers and offered them new books when I got the typesetting straight....but blessedly they looked at me like I was many said, 'I read for your messages', many did not even know what I was talking about...what I knew was that even though I knew they had gotten what I was trying to impart...and it made me realize that with all the craziness and mishaps, I was on the right path!

With all the craziness, I have so much to do in 2009...I am booked through January to do signing, readings or some bookstuff...God is Good! and I realize that the old saying, 'If You Do What You Love, It Will Never Feel Like Work' is true...
So may prayers for all of you is to stay in PRAYER and to find what you love to do and do it.

Love and Blessings!

Tuesday, December 30, 2008

The Newness 2009

I am sitting quietly, thinking about 2008...
Whew, what a many changes, upheavals and triumphs,
Not just for me but for the world,
A new President with new ideas,
Economic crisis,
Wars and more wars...
But I have chosen to only see what is possible,
Because one thing I know for sure is that out of the ashes come growth,
I remember living in Oklahoma and the foresters would do what was called a 'Controlled Burns'
Acres and Acres of land would be intentionally set on fire...
For a few days after the burn, the air would smell of smoke,
The ground would be charred and burned,
Looking as though nothing could come of it,
But as sure as the sun comes up in the morning,
Very quickly the grass would grow,
The earth would smell fresh and green,
And we could all see the newness,
From this I take the message,
That sometimes, every now and then,
Things have to be burned all the way to the ground,
To be restored with freshness and newness,
This allows me to stay optimistic,
This and my faith,
Because without faith that everyday is going to be a new day,
And no matter what went on today,
Tomorrow will be better,
God only knows where I would be and what I would be doing,
So I am just going to stay faithful,
And wait for the NEWNESS!


SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation and Is NO Not Clear Enough For You?

Monday, December 29, 2008

To One's Ownself...

I will take a lesson anywhere I can get one...
This Christmas was so cool, for the first time in a long time I was pretty relaxed into it,
I gave gifts that were about the people I love, and was pleased to see their faces when they received them, I also received gifts that were clearly about me, I was so touched...and I had a lot of laughter and fun! So good...
But the lesson was inside me,
I am organized to a fault, always planning, thinking, showing up on time...
Believe me when I tell you this, I am not bragging...
It is just that one of the things I learned as a young girl, who at times was in chaotic situations,
Is that if one organizes, plans and shows up on is easier, it gives one some control over their life and situation...
However as a woman I developed a bad habit,
And that is organizing, planning and showing up on times for other folks,
Only to realize they are not there when I get there,
And when they get there they are totally unconcerned about being late... nice that must be...
So the lesson I learned is this,
I know I will continue to organize, plan and show up for my ownself,
But, I am going to give it all I have to allow others to do their own thing,
In their own time,
And so long as it does not affect the outcome of my stuff,
Then so be it,
I always tell my family that in my next life I am going to be late and unconcerned,
They roll their eyes and give each other knowing looks...
Well I got news for 'em,
I plan to start in this life,
If not being late, I plan to be least a little bit!
I am serious!
Okay, I am going to try real hard....laughing at myself!

Love and Blessings!

SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation @

Wednesday, December 24, 2008


Are those not beautiful? Mench took those last summer when we were in Key West at a Butterfly Sanctuary...I love butterflies...plants...all things nature...
I just wanted to take this time to wish everyone a MERRY CHRISTmas and to say that it has been a joy to blog all year and hear what people feel and are thinking...
2008 has been the most challenging, yet best year of my life,
Overcame some stuff,
Sat some other stuff to the side,
Learned what real faith brings,
And the true meaning of family,
And most notably learned to be thankful and grateful, while still in the fire,
God is Good...
Love and Blessings and wishing all a Faith-Filled, Blessed New Year
and MAmm Productions,
Maurice, Angelia, Maurice II, Malik Vernon, Paschinita and Amira Jameela Menchan!

Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Blessed Lessons!

One of the biggest lessons I have learned this year is that all one can do is impart what is in,
One's heart and the way it is taken is up to the taker...
Many times here on Ramblings, I have done just that, rambled,
And someone will call and ask if I were peeking in their window,
Or if someone had told me of their situation,
My answer is always no!
Ramblings is oftentimes a place for me to just...ramble...vent...praise...or do self-therapy,
Not often but every now and then, I found myself, explaining myself, when there was nothing,
To explain,
And one of my resolutions for 2009,
Is to not try to explain what I meant, but to write whatever pours from my heart,
Mind and fingers as it is given,
Because only then am I being true to me,
I was told recently by someone I trust wholeheartedly,
Who I know loves me and has my best interest at heart,
Is that those messages that touch people, even if it makes them mad,
Are the good messages, because we all learn more from the hard to swallow stuff,
And no message will make anyone feel anything if it were not meant to touch them,
I know from myself, my greatest and most blessed lessons.
Come from the valleys and not the mountains,
So my goal on Ramblings in 2009 is simply to write,
As only I know to,
That is my blessing,
And Many times my lesson....

Merry CHRISTmas...


Friday, December 19, 2008


Christmas tradition will change a bit for us this year,
We are ritualists in so many ways,
During the military years, we mailed gifts home on the same day every year,
On CHRISTmas Eve, the four of us would open a gift before bed,
And early the next morning the boys would get up before the sun and ride bikes,
Rollerblade, draw, make beats or whatever,
Then the four of us would have lots of food and hangout...
Wonderful memories,
Once we moved back to Florida the rituals changed,
We would do the Christmas Eve much the same, but Christmas day,
We would drive south to have Christmas with our families,
My sons had a bit of heartburn about that, though they love extended family,
They had become used to doing it a certain way,
As they aged, became men, they always found a way to take that ride with us,
However, this year is different, Deep is now a married man, with a baby girl on the way,
And they are out west, making their own traditions,
The Dean is slowing down, looking for what he wants to do with his life,
Start his own family and make traditions of his own,
So for the first time in thirty one Christmases,
Mr. and Mrs. Menchan will have Christmas eve alone,
Will get up together on Christmas morning, just the two of them,
Thankful for how far we have come,
How God has blessed us,
And grateful that though the nest is empty,
It is still filled with love and memories,
Because next year we will have that baby girl,
Amira Jameela Menchan,
And we will all start new traditions...

God is Good!

Love and Blessings,

SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation and
Is NO Not Clear Enough For You? @

Thursday, December 18, 2008


Well good people we are one week from Christmas, and surely all of the gifts are purchased, made, baked….surely, giggling,
I am actually ninety five percent done, I am one of those Christmas geeks who plans and shops early, I pretty much know what those on my list love and want, and I am a believer in giving folks what they want and like, otherwise it is a wasted gift,
There is nothing like having something forced on you because it has been determined by someone it is what you SHOULD have…that ain’t cool…I know it is the thought that counts but is it not kind of thoughtless to give someone who is wishing for chocolates a bag of jawbreakers…anywho…
This year the best gift is having my children on their own and charting their own courses and of course the anticipated arrival of Amira Jameela Menchan!
But this blog is about gifting oneself,
2008 has been a doozy of a year, full of change, turmoil and blessings,
I started the year off, feeling really dark,
Not appreciating to the fullest all I had,
A lot of drama was playing out all around me,
And I found myself caught up…
But as surely as a flower will bloom after the freeze,
A series of events made me look at how blessed I was and with,
God’s help and a loving man,
I made it through,
There have been other upheavals and drama,
But I felt equipped and prepared when it came and as such was able to keep it moving,
So my gift to myself this Christmas,
Is to slow down a bit,
Enjoy all I have been blessed with,
Refuse to embrace drama and get caught up in stuff,
The week after Christmas my plan is to chill!
Read some books,
Drink coffee in the morning,
And the best cabernet I can afford in the evenings,
While napping occasionally and most importantly, remembering
To give praises and be thankful for the fact that I am still here!

Love and Blessings!

SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation @

Wednesday, December 17, 2008


This past weekend as I was doing a reading, I heard my friend say,
"Where in the world does she come up with all these scenarios, I guess God has gifted her with words and she says them." I paraphrased a bit but that was the gist of it. She also said,
"When I read this I am astonished because I have known you forever and..." I was touched and pleased because I want to have folks who read my books ask those kind of questions and I have to say this;
Don't get spooked out, it is really simple, the characters that I write about talk to me,
And I listen and respond by writing,
Sometimes there are so many of them up there jockeying for position,
I have to tell them the wait their turn,
At the book reading, many in the audience offered who they would love to tell their own story,
SCHAE was introduced in my first book,
Many want Alexandra Wilson's story told,
And some are dying to know more about Cinnamon's Aunts,
And of course Cinnamon's daughter, Aura's story is begging to be written,
Not to mention, Ava Green...
They are all talking up a storm, and I am listening and grateful,
That the voices are providing me with so much book food,
I will have filled plates on the table for years to come...
I love what I am doing,
And am so grateful that I have been blessed to have actual people,
Who want to read what I write, listen to the voices on paper and respond,



Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Generational Curses

This weekend my niece and I were talking about something and she said,
'We CAN break the Generational Curse' heart soared at her words, because that is exactly my message in SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation...we can break the curse...
The curse on Schae's family was that the only way to have anything or be anybody is by being sexy, attractive and giving men what they want...many women and families are cursed by this,
I can remember cringing every time I heard a woman say, she could get this man or that man,
Or when it was all about looks or configurations...I was never sure why that made me uncomfortable, until I saw a young girl doing it,
She was about seven years old and she was talking to a group of older men,
She had her hand on her hip and was batting her lashes and flirting,
I was horrified and I knew exactly what she was doing, even though she didn't know it yet,
She was imitating and modeling the women in her life and most shockingly, the women in her life, looked proud!
One thing I was cursed with is the, 'you can't trust anyone curse and the you better tell 'em off good curse...'
I spent so many years in battle with people and missing out on really good friends because I didn't trust people and I allowed my tongue to lash out when it wasn''t even necessarry...
But, I learned and am learning,
Because I know for sure that CHANGE is a decision,
One that no one can make for us, but us,
But on any given day of any given week at any given time,
We can Break the Curse!

Love and Blessings!



First I have to say, yes that is me, well over forty years ago,
Well over, my Aunt Alice finally let me take it, I had to make sure it hit the mailbox first thing this morning, anywho...
Looking at that picture, I had to ask what saved that girl,
And this morning I came up with three things,
And doing my own thing!
I had faith, when I didn't even know what faith was,
No one ever really made me go to church or even to read the bible, but for all the years of my young life, I read Proverbs and II Corinthians faithfully, did not always understand what I was reading, but it carried me through some really tough stuff,
Today I have total faith that no matter what I go through God will bring me to it and through it...
The same is true of LOVE, the folks in my life who I am closest to LOVE me and I LOVE them, they don't love who they want me to be, who they wish I was, but ME and I feel the same about THEM...Loving involves tolerance, compromise, understanding and forgiving and sometimes it involves moving on...
And the doing my OWN THING, truly sustains me, when growing up, I was considered a strange girl...head always in a book, not very interested in makeup, looks or any of the more surface things, someone was always saying, 'If you would just put on some makeup or didn't wear your clothes so loose...' I usually had something sassy to say in return as I kept it moving...I knew me...So when I started writing I knew I had finally found my Thing...I'd had jobs, careers, and made decent money, but I had never done anything outside of my family life that had brought me such the darkest moments, after praying, I can write for hours and literally feel reborn....much of what I write will never see the light of day, but it has served it's purpose in getting me through...
One thing I know for sure, is that the people who have their OWN THING, are the happiest and most peaced out...because what one's own thing does is give them something to focus on that is always positive and renewing!

Monday, December 15, 2008


This past week was a roller coaster ride…for real,
However it culminated beautifully on Saturday,
I sat in a room with some loyal readers, family and friends,
And we celebrated the release of SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation,
We talked, shared, listened to a CD entitled Her Story written by Malik ‘DeepDuval’ Menchan…
I sold books, signed books and read several chapters,
Most importantly I relaxed, probably for the first time, completely into the blessing God has provided me with,
I published my first book January 2006 and for all this time,
I have held my breath, so concerned with opinions,
Who I would offend, who wouldn’t get it,
Held myself back with my own fictionalized truths,
But this weekend as I read my work, looking around the room at folks who had read,
All my work and a few who were new to me and I saw the rapt attention on their faces,
I knew it was time to let it go and let it flow…
I revealed bits and pieces of myself to people in ways I never had before and it felt right and good…So grateful…
One of the best moments for me was when KD walked in,
KD is a man in his seventies, who is close to members of my family,
Is a part of my family indirectly and I see him every time I go home,
He has had some awesome struggles, is still struggling,
However at Thanksgiving I tried to give him my newest book,
I knew twelve dollars was hard for him to come by…
But he said, ‘No Cynt, I am going to come out there to get my copy, I will get the money somehow…”
When I arrived in Ocala, Saturday morning, he came around to my Aunt’s and told me he would be there…
In the middle of a passage I was reading, he walked in,
He pulled his skull cap off, stood in the door in his old army jacket and walked up to the table and handed me a twenty dollar bill, my heart almost flew from my chest,
I signed it, he sat down for a minute, read a few pages, then he waved as he departed…
I can honestly say I felt really honored,
This man with so little had walked miles, with borrowed money to purchase my book,
I am so grateful…
I’ll be back tomorrow with more…


SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation @

Saturday, December 13, 2008


I am starting the Schae Tour today...feels good, and so timely, because it is about faith and change...
Yesterday was one of the best and most difficult ever,
There were conversations that took place and were so long overdue,
And though they were so exhausting, they were freeing...
It also made me realize that my motto is so true...
The Past Ends at Midnight and Everyday is a New Day,
Sometimes a new day can happen within the same day,
When I got home yesterday afternoon, I was so tired, could barely pick up my feet,
Had not eaten all day...not a bite...but I called my children,
Told them to tell me anything they wanted to say, ask for anything they wanted to ask for...
Af first they laughed, then the heard the tiredness in me...
I had to explain to them, that the world thinks they know who we are and what we are about,
They both laughed and told me 'Mama you tripping'....
I then told them one more time, I am open to all criticism and requests today...
So bring it or leave it alone henceforth,
They both told me they were grown men and was just fine, thank you very much...
Then I sat down for a bit, still didn't eat, too much to do,
At four thirty my husband and I went to Gateway Bookstore...An AA Bookstore in the heart of the hood...owned by Activist Ms. Hughes, a former Black Panther, Harlemite and all around wonderful woman...she had told me earlier in the she wanted me to come back and meet with her partners, Drs. Bert and Judi Herring...
It was the most amazing meeting of my life, they have devised a program at Gateway books to tutor children in Urban neighborhoods and together we are going to work on a proposal for our children in the neighborhoods...I told them a little bit of my story...for the first time in a public arena, I truly exposed me, because I knew and God had shown me it was time...we sat up some meetings and I literally bounced out of there...
Finally, my man took me for a meal, we had our favorite spinach and artichoke dip and I told him,
'Baby if you got anything to say to me, bring it...I am open for it today...'
The waitress came by and rubbed my shoulder, even she could see how tired a sister was...
He looked at me with happy eyes and said, 'We straight'...


Purchase Schae's Story @

Friday, December 12, 2008

The Good, The Bad, The Lesson...

This week has been one of the best and at the same time one of the most emotionally draining...
The best in that many good things have been happening with my writing and the promotion of it,
I waited for a long time to really promote what I did...and there were so many reasons for that,
As such as soon as I allowed God to guide my hand, I could do it...
However, as a believer and as I am often taught in church, one of the most difficult things to deal with is that the life of a someone on a spiritual path is often difficult and filled with ups and downs...this was such a week...
On Friday, one of my mentees, confessed something to me that I know I have to deal with,
But am unsure how and still praying about it...Something must be done...trials...
While all that was happening books were selling ....Blessings...
In the middle of the week, I had two phone calls from young people in my life,
And I had to take on the position of the teacher, the chastiser, I had to be as real as I could,
Out of love...and it was hard...tribulations...
More books were was going well...Blessings...
Yesterday, in many ways was the most blessed and the most cursed at the same time...
I wrote a blog yesterday morning, simply based on how I was feeling, needed to get it out there...
For the first time, I didn't temper it, it wasn't about anything but me and how I felt...
Every now and then I vent...
Well I hurt someone's feelings, badly enough for them to attack...
At first I was shocked, but later I was not as much, because after reading and rereading the blog,
I knew what had happened, I made something I was writing, totally about me...and the reader made it about them...and I guess that is why I have been so my writing and in my blogging...because what I want people to take from it is simply this,
A young girl who by no means other than her faith was able to get through some really, bad life experiences and come out on the other side, able to do things she loves and believes in, that girl is me...
There were so many things that happened to me and that I went through as a young girl, that sometimes I don't even believe it, and I guess what is most unbelievable for many is the path I chose and how I chose it...That is why I believe so strongly in mentoring, because I know for myself that if I could come through to the other side, anyone, everyone can...
One of the questions the Anonymous commenter asked was this:
What DO YOU have...and I knew that they had seen my saying God favors me as a material thing...but it wasn't about that at all...
What I have is faith that I can get through anything...belief that I am a survivor and can take care of myself...though I have been blessed with a partner...also God has given me the best gift of all and that is the gift of being able to get up every single day, knowing that even when I have messed up, he will forgive me and allow me to learn something from it, because faith has taught me that every day is a new day and every day God renews...THAT IS ALL I HAVE...
I always knew that life is filled with the Good, the Bad and the lesson...
And a lesson for me has been this...
In order to write, to touch, to grow...there are going to be somedays that is filled with weeds,
But as I tell my young people, if you pull the weeds, fertilize and water...beautiful plants can grow....I also tell them that the planting and tending, never ends....


Thursday, December 11, 2008

Anonymous Blog Comments!

I have been blogging for almost two years and for the first time I was called out and told off on my blog...anonymously...actually it wasn't that anonymous...but for the sake of argument, let's say it was....
First I want to say why I blog,
Initially it was to get out information about my books,
But it later became a form of therapy,
For me, whether people comment or not, I blog...
And this morning driving in to work, I played over a conversation with a friend,
She had asked me why I didn't talk more about myself or my accomplishments and why
Finally I was doing a big way for the first time,
I told her my reasons and I blogged about it...
End of story or so I thought,
So I was called out by someone who had it totally wrong, but that is okay...
And I knew it would happen today...
Because things had been so awesome,
Several events coming up...
And more on the horizon,
And into every sunny day, some rain will fall...
I thought about enabling my blog so comments could be checked,
And I said no,
I don't plan to do that,
I will continue to do it as I alway have done,
And as my son said, Purse your lips and blow it away,
And my niece, who said, Auntie suck it up, the more you do, the more this will happen...
They are correct and I am glad for it...



Wednesday, December 10, 2008

What You Get From It?

One thing we all know for sure is that in order to travel through this thing called LIFE,
We will go through some things…surely, you know that?
So it really isn’t a matter of if you will go through something, but when,
More importantly is what will you learn from it, if anything,
Because that is what trials are for, to teach us and reach us…
Sunday I sat down next to a beautiful sister in church, we serve together,
I knew who she was but didn’t really know her,
I knew she was a Breast Cancer Survivor and that is near and dear to my heart,
She introduced herself and I did as well,
She asked, ‘Are you that Angelia?’ I must have looked goofy, because she grinned saying, ‘The writer and the one who stops by the Pastor’s blog?’ Grinning back I said, ‘Umm Hmm that’s me.’ We chatted about a variety of things, mostly faith and books and she told me she was touched by my charities and support of Breast Cancer Research.
I told her about losing my mom and my open hand theory and how my mom’s death had changed me…made me vow to live and to give, fully…
She grinned again, such a beautiful, peaceful face…and said how her bout had changed her,
How the ‘Stuff’ that used to matter, like houses, cars and money had been reduced to it’s rightful place and how life, love and the spirit reigned supreme…she didn’t say it exactly like that but you all know I will play with words…anyway…nodding I concurred,
Because I remembered that day I stood at my mom’s grave, I told myself that no matter what life threw my way, I was going to stand on faith and do all the things that God had blessed me with the ability to do, and he has rained blessing on me, for real, for real…
There would be no more talking about it, but being about it…that is why I am not tripping about the economy or any other such thing, because what I know for sure, is that this is just another test, another trial and what will remain long after this has all passed is what we learned from it and how we took what we went through and made a difference in some small way…



SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation @

Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Who's The Mama?

I am telling you sometimes my children work me,

And I have a gang of them,

I have only given birth twice...and the last time was twenty-four years ago,

But in addition to them I have amassed a lot of children, all with who are...umm special,

There are my sons, my daughter in law, nieces, nephews, second and third cousins, and mentees,

And most of the time I can treat them like the special loves they are,

But errrrrrrrry now and then I have to, well, ummm go off!

Friday was such a day,

I was sitting with one of my children (mentees) over coffee and cake,

And she stepped on my last nerve,

Right there in Starbucks I brought it to her...we ended with love and her telling me how AWESOME I was but she felt me that day!

Today I had to go off on two of my children,

Two whom I can usually go easy on,

But today those children wanted to test a mama,

And mama brought it to them,

I was standing at the counter getting my USA today and when my phone rang,

I answered it and handled them and it, right there...usually I am pretty circumspect and down key but sometimes where it occurs is where the whipping has to take place,

Of course after I was done,

I told them how much I love them,

They were even laughing a bit,

But they left the conversation knowing,

Who Was The Mama!



Treat it Special!

One of the messages I try hardest to impart to my mentees is to ‘Treat it Special’…
They always look at me crazy, shocked because they think I am talking about,
Well, I am and about everything else,
As I prepare to go on the ‘Schae Tour’, I know one of the resounding questions will be,
How does a woman get what she want, without compromising who she is,
And I will tell them, this ‘Treat it Special’…
People quite simply, value what you value…
If you value you and decide to treat everything about you as if it were special,
They will too…
I can remember a conversation I had well over thirty years ago,
I was standing at the bus stop, it was prom time and a friend told me she was going to the prom with a certain guy, but she was going to back out because she didn’t want to ‘be with’ him…
I was stunned, because I couldn’t wrap my seventeen year old mind around what going to the prom had to do with, ‘That’…she read the dumbfounded look on my face and said these words;
‘Well you don’t have to do it, but the rest of us do!’ I was stunned but of course I had a reply…
‘Oh no you don’t, on any given day at any given time, you can stop that madness and start treating it like it’s special…a prom date shouldn’t be about that!’ I don’t think she believed me, but I was telling her the truth as I knew it…
People, men, treat us the way we allow them to…
If we are sharing all of us with them, with no expectations of honor or respect,
Acting as if who we are and what we have is not special,
They will act accordingly,
However, if we treat it, us, ourselves as if we are the wonderful, beautiful, smart, got it going on beings that we are,
They will treat it and you…as if it were SPECIAL…
I wouldn’t lie to you, love you too much for that!


SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation now available @

Monday, December 8, 2008

Don't Hold So Tight!

I have always been self-contained…
I can socialize with the best of them, love laughing until my side hurts,
But at the end of the day, week, year, I am a solo chick,
One of the things that confuse and make me come out swinging is when someone tries to,
Control or manipulate my actions…
I can recall as a young girl, my mom would often leave me to my own devices,
Because she knew she could trust me to do what I was supposed to do,
She also respected me, as a person, though I was her child, she expected me to have enough sense to make decisions, she never told me who to befriend, date, love because she knew she had raised me!
My husband also appreciates my need to be me and to sometimes go my own way, and blaze my own trails, he knows that I love him and his best interests are always first and he has to compete with no one or nothing for my time…
As my kids have become grown, they too respect my space,
If they call and I say I am busy, they say cool and when I am available then we can do something,
Those that know me, know that I will also treat them in kind,
I have no restrictions on my friendships, I feel that people should be close to whomever they chose and however they want to,
If a friend is rolling with someone, I don’t particularly want to roll with,
I simply say, ‘No thanks, not today, maybe we can do something later.’
The next time we can hang out do something,
And I absolutely need the same kind of space,
A sure way to turn me off and cause me to head for the hills,
Is to crowd me, make me feel I owe you something or try to make me feel beholden,
I am gone like the wind,
Because the way I see it, is there is enough of me to have diverse relationships and communications and for me to be with someone doesn’t mean I don’t want to be with someone else, sometimes it means I dig them, I dig you, but occasionally it is just a one on one…no harm no foul.
If I am RAMBLING here, it is because I am,
Sometimes, the only way to vent is to vent,
And that is why I love this blogging thing,
It frees me to do two things at once,
And Express what is rolling around in my head space…


SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation NOW Available @

Also available @

Saturday, December 6, 2008

Schae's Moving ON!

Malcolm sat in his office looking out the window, thinking;
"What in the world does this woman want? I know I led her on in some ways for over fifteen years, but I took care of her. I have never been happier. I have an awesome relationship with God. My family is in a great place, the Learning Center allows me to have children and my friendships are platinum. Whatever this is about, it better not be about any drama. "A knock at the door shook him from his thoughts.
Looking up he was startled at Schae's appearance. She was wearing her signature pink, but her Ann Klein pantsuit was a size fourteen and not the usual size twelve she had been squeezing into for years and her long-flowing tresses were still bright auburn but her clean face startled him. In all the years he had been involved with her, he had never seen the skin on her face. He could smell the signature Giorgio perfume wafting in ahead of her. Some things never changed and they shouldn't.
"Come in Schae. Close the door if it’ll make you more comfortable." Doing as he asked she glided over to sit in the chair across from him. "He is so handsome, still.”
“Hey Mr. Black, how are you?" His expression was calm but as cold as Siberia.
"Ms. Jackson, how can I help you?" Smiling slightly at his professional tone, she decided to tease him. It stung a bit that he didn’t seem to remember anything about her except her name.
"I just wanted to tell you I was pregnant and want child support." Unexpected laughter poured from his throat.
"Well, I'll do what I can to help you find your baby-daddy." Laughter poured from her throat.
“That won't be necessary. I just wanted to tell you thanks for all you ever did for me. You were a good man and good to me. I knew that what we had was just about sex for you but I cared, care about you, and I think there is no finer man, anywhere." She swallowed down a lump, blinking back tears.
“Schae, thanks isn't necessary. You and I had an arrangement. As I told you all those years ago, I was wrong to do all the things for you I did. Thinking back, I know it made it seem like there was more to it than there was. But, I have no regrets. When it was time to move on, I did. And all appearances indicated you did as well. What has changed?"
“I have, I no longer want to be anyone's affair. I need to get me together and I plan to. I have invested most of the money I’ve earned. Thanks to the generosity of others I'm doing real well financially. I'm even thinking about adopting Julius and Jeffrey, Barbara’s children. Mama's getting older and I want to be a mom, maybe even a wife, one day."
"That's cool. I think you will make a good mother and a good wife, to someone."
"But not to you?"
"No Schae, not to me. I love my life as it is. I wouldn't change a thing, nothing. But I’ll pray for you and I wish you the best." Her heart turned over in her chest, she still had serious feelings for him but her heart and gut told her she wasn’t a part of his life and never would be. She needed to know that.
“Do you really think I would be a good mom?"
"The best, you’re a nurturer and those kids couldn't be more blessed to have you. And I'm sure Ms. Geraldine will be pleased."
"Thanks Malcolm, I only have two regrets in my life. One is that I never had a child, the other being I wasn't a woman you could love."
"Don't regret anything Schaelonda. You can have children the same as I did, I adopted my nephews and those boys are my children, as well as the young men who come through here. Schae you and I were never meant to be any more than what we were. Pray over it and bury it. It's dead." Standing, she gathered her things, looking over her shoulder as she departed, she replied, “I know."

Friday, December 5, 2008

Character Identification

One of the most fun things about talking about my books with people is how readers feel about and identify with characters...
Last weekend a reader was telling me how she didn't like, 'Malcolm Black'...she said he was too removed...I loved that because he had made her feel something or in some way she identified him with someone else...
I also can feel when speaking to some of my sisters, how they identify with Schae, a few have come right out and admitted it...others are more reluctant and they will say, 'Oh I know a few Schaes'...
The most poignant conversations are the ones where I see how they are touched, moreso than what they say...
The best conversation thus far was with with a sister, who told me I had written her story...she went on to say this, 'I am not quite where Schae is but what you have done is written a blueprint for me to follow...' Lord, I was speechless...and so touched!
When writing my goal is to give 'em something they can feel, characters they can believe that will have them thinking about it later...I guess I have done that...
I also had to learn that people identify me with my characters...
I am hard pressed to convince anyone that Cinnamon Brown is not me...winking...
Once I discovered I could not change their minds, I had to change her behavior...THOSE WHO HAVE READ MY BOOKS, KNOW WHAT I MEAN....LAUGHING OUT LOUD!

So I said all that to say, I love the fact that folks identify with my characters and I know that this coming year I will have a blast as I maneuver my way around, talking about these people!



SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation NOW Available signed copies, free shipping

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Writing...A LOVE THANG!

Writing for me is a Love Thang, for real...I could write all day and half the night and never run out of stuff to write about, I guess it's because I am a listener, observer, with spongelike tendencies...soaking up everything going around, knowing it has the potential to become a story or part of a story...
The other day, I was sitting in my office party at lunch, it was the day after the release of Schae's Story and I was tired, a good tired...had been mailing for days with more orders to go and my co-worker told me I looked tired but happy...smiling, I noted it was a good observation...
I was then asked how do I do it all...wife, mentor, job, writer, publisher, et al.
I said, succinctly, 'Writing and promoting my work is a love thang, I have had lots of jobs and careers, some have been better than others...but this is my thing...the contribution I have to offer, that brings immense satisfaction....
The next day, I was standing in the doorway of another co-worker and she asked, why did I ship books for free....I told her it was pretty simple, after printing the book, contributing to my charity of choice and mailing the books, I still make a nice profit, and if I can give something small, such as free shipping to those who have supported me, then more the better...she looked sceptical...and I explained to her my hands open theory, which is this....
"A HAND OPEN IN GIVING IS NEVER EMPTY...THE MORE THAT IS GIVEN, THE MORE THAT IS GOTTEN..." She smiled at me, shaking her head at my weirdness...I could literally read her mind, 'That's our Angelia, just as spacey as she can be...' It is what it is...but one thing I know for sure is this...'We all need a LOVE THANG or two'...


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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Company You Keep...

Most parents talk to their kids about the company they keep, we all want our children to have the best associations possible and not get mixed in with the wrong crowd, and as parents that is what we should teach...
However, we have to be very careful in parlaying the message,
Because as I look around me, many people see that as a way to snub others, look down upon those who aren't doing as well as we are...or they are...
Surely, all we meant is to stay away from trouble and troublemakers,
But that does not mean to not reach out to those who are struggling, or who are in need or who are going through something...or have been through something...what we have to realize is that we just might be the catalyst of change or of acceptance they need...

Last week, I was in my hometown and I stopped by to see someone who I had known all my life,
She has had a pretty hard life, made some choices that weren't good for her and probably will make others...but she is in a transitional phase...she knows there are things she needs to do differently...and as she said to me, sometimes just having someone like me stop by encourages her...I was a bit taken aback by the someone like me comment...I needed her to explain that to me....she had no problem doing so;
'Girl U know what I mean. You are doing good, life is treating you well, but everytime you roll through here, you stop and talk. Most importantly I never see any judgment in your eyes, even when you see us caught up in something you wouldn't do. I appreciate that, we talk about you all the still the same...'

That touched me, but I said, 'Of course I am the same, how could I be anything else, we all from this place and though we are all blessed in different ways, we are all blessed, we just have to understand that the blessings are different and realize that we need to do what we can, even if it is something as simple as conversation...'

She told me, 'Well most don't feel like that, many roll through here like they never ran up and down these streets barefoot...' I knew what she meant, but I also knew and told her not to take that personal because the only ones they are fooling are themselves and if anything can be learned from these global economic times is this, 'In the twinkling of an eye, all the 'THINGS' that separate us and make many feel better can all be swept away...and when that is all gone, we all need to be able to step back home and be accepted with open, loving arms...' She and I smiled into the others faces...embraced and I drove away, smiling at our conversation...


SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation NOW Available @

Tuesday, December 2, 2008


Schae Jackson spent thirty years of her life believing the hype, she knew at fifteen she was pretty and had something the men loved. She had been raised to get money and she did. Ironically, she was also a smart savvy bank manager, but that never seemed to be enough…her conditioning had been to earn the money and get the money, and she knew as long as she was beautiful, fine and funny she could do it…
However, one day she woke up, realizing that she was now well into her forties, no children, no man of her own and surrounded by all the finery money could buy…so why the heck did she feel so lost, so lonely, as if she had wasted so much time…
Schae had to admit to herself that she had been sold a bill of goods, she had to realize that only what God brought was lasting and sustaining and that all of the designer clothes, fancy cars and rich men in the world could not fill her soul…she knew it was time to change…but would they allow her…
The men can’t accept the change, they are convinced she still has a price, and they are willing to pay it…
Friends and family are struggling with the transformation…surely the ultimate get money girl, can’t even dream about giving up easy money…
But Schae knows the truth, she knows that God is trying to tell her something and that she had better listen….the time is now…
But will she be able to change, will the world allow the changes, or will she get caught up and decide it is easier to do what she has always done before….only Schae knows, and you can find out….

SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation….NOW AVAILABLE…
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Monday, December 1, 2008

It's A Choice!

Over the past few weeks, I have spoken to people I really care about, who have chosen, yes you heard me, chosen…to be miserable, mad…whatever…and they can’t see how they are only harming themselves…
Something that puzzles me is how completely wrapped around something a person can become, when they KNOW, I mean absolutely unequivocally know, that they can do absolutely nothing to change a thing…but they fuss, toss, turn and literally moan about,
Makes no sense to me…
I have to say…the election is over, if your party did not win, you will have to wait four more years…staying up all night and talking to people about it won’t change a thing…the only thing that can change is how you deal with it…
If someone you love has done something and moved on…you will have to move on as well…chances are that person is gone for good and is not up at night pacing the floor, worrying about what you are doing, they are out enjoying life…you are going to have to also…or spend a lot of time sad…
If your children are grown and are making their own choices and are not asking you to support them, then they are entitled to do it their way, much the same as you did, and if you are supporting grown people and aren’t getting what you want out of it, then stop it already…the only way to be grown is to be grown…and surely there has to be an easier way to spend your money that brings you some satisfaction…food banks are in dire need…
If your friends don’t agree with everything you say, then that means they are independent thinkers who bring something to the table you don’t have, which is what makes friendships and life interesting…maybe I am way off course here, but everyone is an independent thinker and are entitled to their own opinions…surely having a different outlook isn’t a deal breaker for a relationship…is it?

Someone was recently telling me how unhappy they were with changes that had taken place and how happy everyone else was. It moved me to ask, this, “Before the changes, when you were happy, how did they feel?” I saw a light go on, this person had never stopped to think that while they were having their ‘light’ moments, that others were in the ‘dark’…that is how life is, some days are filled with light, some days are filled with some darkness, but everyday that we are allowed to breathe, love, feel…is a good day.


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Sunday, November 30, 2008


Schae's Story, officially hits the streets tomorrow, but for the last several days I have had the please of watching people read her story....Schae is talking to a whole bunch of people...
It causes my heart to race as I watched people immersed in my work, shooing others as the read, not wanting to be bothered....
It is also pleasing when someone is reading for the first time and I love the way they look at me,
With a reassessing eye, it's almost as though they are saying..."Oooh, she really has something to say, or I didn't know she had it in her...I love it!
Standing at the post office with arms full of books, or getting out of my car with arms full of books and having my readers say, "oooh, you didn't forget or I can't wait."
Oh what a feeling and all before the book actually is released....
God really does take care of his children...PLEASE BELIEVE...
SCHAE'S STORY is Available for signed copies @ and for online purchasing....


Monday, November 24, 2008





More Conversation....

I am absolutely, unequivocally convinced that I have the most interesting conversations…bar none..
I remember years ago, I had a supervisor, who summed it up this way,
We were sitting in a managers meeting and someone asked, why is it that everyone talks to Angelia about issues, she is in charge of purchasing, not human resources, he laughed and said, this, ‘She has that weird look on her face, the one that says she gives a damn about what people feel, I never forgot that…
I had an interesting conversation on Thursday, one of my coworkers walked in my office,
And started chatting, he had been a bit grumpy since the election, so I left him alone,
We started talking about a laundry list of things and somehow we got on the subject of Christmas, he said the problem with Christmas celebrations nowadays, was it isn’t about America but about ethnicity…HUH?
I had to ask what that mean, at that moment I guess he remembered I was ethnic, so he mumbled something, I said, ‘Well every holiday is ethnic, as a Black person, I have my traditions as a White person you have yours and our brothers and sisters of other ‘ethnicities’ have theirs, what is more American than that? He had to tell me something!
He said, ‘Well it seems that we are so focused on ethnicity more than anything!’ Weak answer, so I said, the only problem I see with Christmas is how people have taken the Christ out of it…but surely America was based on ethnic differences, especially after everyone who wasn’t Native American started to come here…” He looked a bit embarrassed as he changed the subject. I totally understood his pain, but come on, get over it already…life my friends has gone on, and one thing I know is that we have to take whatever life offers and live with it…WE have been doing that forever and one thing we know for sure is that sometimes we have to flow with it…or be miserable…


SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation NOW available @

Friday, November 21, 2008

Love It...

This morning as I arose, I walked from my bedroom, peeking into my office,
And my heart rate increased...amongst the scarves...something I love, and the candles, another love, and all the enlarged book covers on the wall, was the beginning of the Schae tour...woo woo...It has been a whole year since I last published a book, one year...the first four came out in such rapid succession, I was like a book factory...but when I got to Is NO Not Clear Enough For You?, I knew it was time to slow down, give it to them a bit slower, while I showed my work some respect, allowing it to stand alone for a was hard, mind you, but worth it...
This time I feel so relaxed, I have preorders!!!, I am booked through January 17th with signings, and blessed....
But back to what got me so geeked, in my usually very orderly office filled with the aforementioned and a gaggle of electronics and pictures of my family is a work station,
Boxes filled with mailing envelopes, bright pink gift bags and little surprises I love giving to my blessed...I looked at my husband, grinning, because he has been right by my side all the way through this, designing my covers and websites and most importantly putting up with my Diva like antics when things were not as I wanted them...Saint Mench, for real....
I realized that as I plunked down a lot of scrilla...for programs and printers and computers, he never batted a lash, just supported me and my blessed...
And now we are both really comfortable with what we are doing and where we are going...
It reminds me of when my kids and my niece were youngsters and they would stand on my mama's porch, singing all day long at the top of their lungs, 'We are family..." So blessed...
Well, I wont tarry much longer, there is so much work to do....but I just wanted to say as so many have said before, me, "Do what you love, and it will feed your soul..." and I LOVE IT!!



Schae's Story: A Woman's Transformation now available at

Thursday, November 20, 2008

Patience is Still a Virtue!

One of my prayers is that folks realize that while change is good, change takes time,
I know there are a gaggle of people who want miracles and they want them now,
And I am a miracle believing girl, have seen a few in my time,
But I am also a practical chick, who knows that sometimes we have to be patient,
Realizing that sometimes a thing will take longer to undo, than it took to do,
I remember twenty nine years ago, I gained forty-five pounds while pregnant with my eldest, I was padded nicely with vanilla ice cream and cheeseburgers, hello…as someone with energy to burn, I had always been able to eat what I wanted and maintain my curves,
So I was unconcerned, well lo and behold after giving birth, I discovered those pounds were still there, mostly a few months later, it didn’t occur to me, that what took nine months to gain, might take twice as long to ungain…oh what a revelation,
So much a revelation that I made sure I only gained twenty six years later with baby number two…I may be slow but, I get there…

Yesterday, I was sitting in a team meeting and we have two new members, youngsters, half the ages of the three elders, yikes,
They bring a freshness, smarts and idealism to the old guard that was truly needed,
However, I watched the faces of one as he was told he couldn’t do something he wanted to do, there was stunned disbelief and a bit of pain, as he realized that his bright, new, shiny ideas wouldn’t be implemented. I am sure he thought he was in the backwoods…
So, I kindly, gently told him this,
“Just hang in there, continue to offer up suggestions, you will discover that many of your,
Ideas will get incorporated, even becoming the norm”…he smiled, lip trembling a tad, not really believing me,
So I offered this,
“Ten years ago when I got here as a relative youngster, (sighing as I realized even then, I was 13 years older than he is today…) I was shocked and some of the then archaic practices, and I threw my cutting edge (sic) ideas around, mostly I was ignored,
But realizing that I needed an hang in there mindset, so today much of what is done, was once an idea in my overactive mind…” Whether that made him feel better or not, I am unsure, but I do know the day will come, I will be long retired, sitting at the beach somewhere and he will be in a room of youngsters, remembering what I said…

On the other hand when talking to some youngsters, I have to say, “That while patience is a virtue, it is not a synonym for inertia, that we must remember that while waiting patiently we have to constantly work behind the scenes, making things happen. If we feel underemployed, we have to while working, keep our eyes open for the next opportunity, or while looking a pile of rejected manuscripts, we have to continue to write. Because heaven forbid, our opportunity comes, after waiting even so patiently and we are unready…that sends shivers down my spine…

I guess I said all that to say that even when change is afoot, we have to recognize that it takes time and it makes for patience, but if we take the time out to help make those changes, in whatever little way that we can, time will pass quicker and we will probably feel better when it occurs…me thinks!

So remember, Patience is Still a Virtue!


Wednesday, November 19, 2008

Did You Feel It?

I love and value those in my life who give it to me straight, who make me feel it…
My Pastor is like that, he expositorily teaches what is in the Word, and if sometimes,
We go ouch, then all the better, I love it when I am riding home after church,
Thinking of the many ways I can be better, even when the truth has hurt,
There are also a handful of people I go to when I want it real,
My husband, my youngest son, my friend Nicole,
They love me madly but when I need it, they bring it…hard…
As such when blogging or writing, my goal is always to tell the truth,
As I know it, because that is the only truth I have,
I can always tell when someone has felt something I have written, whether positively.
Or otherwise, and they don’t have to say it, I can sense it, and that’s cool,
Because sometimes we have to feel it,
Just the other day, a woman much older than I read, Is NO Not Clear Enough For You?
When she bought the book, I didn’t even realize how much she looked like the grandmother in my book, small, very light complexion, a bit haughty appearing,
Anyway, she came to me saying;
“You are very observant, reading your book, made me see myself, my children, my grandchildren and at times I didn’t like what I saw…but I learned something.” My heart turned over because a few months earlier an elder had taken me to task for not being kind to the grandmother. It was at that moment that I realized the woman sitting next to me was the spitting image of Pearl Green in my book. I was really touched then, realizing that as a writer, my biggest responsibility is to bring it as God gives it to me…and to be able to deal with the fact that everyone will not take the same thing from it,
As I have said on more than a few occasions, everything isn’t for everybody, and the universe offers enough choices for all of us….all I try to do is do my little bit, in the only way I know how, as honestly as I can and to try to grow even when there are growing pains….


SCHAE’S STORY: A Woman’s Transformation @

Tuesday, November 18, 2008

What Comes Between Us!

As most of you know, my best thinking is done between 5:30 and 6:00 am as I make my way to work, my twenty plus mile commute from the country to the heart of Jacksonville is filled with music on my CD, usually RB or Gospel or some wonderful mixture thereof, I pass over the largest bridge in the city with the St Johns River and the twinkling lights as ambience, sometimes fog…this morning, I was thinking about my neighborhood, the diversity, on one side is a white couple, on the other side is a black couple, across the street is a family, originally from Kenya and next to them is a white guy married to a Cuban woman…wow…and I only thought of them as my closest neighbors…
While thinking about that I realized the things that separate us most are minute things,
Things we say, how we carry ourselves, what we want to be known for,
I know many people who have ARRIVED…
Six figure family incomes, college educated children, nice homes, vacations hither and yon, sounds good doesn’t it,
But they don’t have good relationships with the people who nurtured them,
Family, friends, old classmates…and if you were to ask, many times they would say,
‘Oh they are just jealous’…surely it is true, in some cases, but many times it is because they are made to be,
No one wants to spend time around people who are always flexing, flossing and preening,
Or worse case talking about what they have or looking down their noses at people they once shared a zip code with,
When I get together with people I love and have loved a long time,
I just want to be with them, eat some sweet potato pie, laugh at each other's antics...
I find that that is not the time to discuss my latest promotion, bonus or where I am whisking off to…I am grateful, God knows I am, but what I am looking for is a way to,
Bond heart-to-heart, and bask in what we each bring to the table from the inside out…
It is so not about what separates us, but what makes us the same,
Heart beating, truth seeking, individuals who want to share time together…
Sounds good don’t it…And it is...HONEST!


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Monday, November 17, 2008

Put In Work!

One of the most difficult lessons to impart to young people and in some cases,
Not so young is that most things happen in baby steps,
You have to work, plan, save and wait for many things,
Contrary to popular media,
There are very few overnight any things,
Most successful people work and grind until they become good, better, best at what they Do, then they reap the rewards and benefits of putting in work,
I look at a lot of young people, unfortunately young men,
Who have these delusions of grandeur and miss many opportunities,
Wanting to start out at the top,
It does not work that way,
To be a manager, you have to have in most cases been a worker or manager trainee,
To be a Principal, in many cases you had to have been a teacher,
To be a singer, at a minimum you should know how to sing…
You see where I am going…
I see so many, who are unemployed and allowing precious time to run away from them,
While they are waiting for a big break that has passed them by too many times to count,
That job they started on four years ago, would today be that management position,
If only they had hung around, put in work and braved it out,
Now they stand twenty jobs later, knocking on the door of a certain age,
Wondering what the heck happened,
Not understanding that huge part of success is hanging in there,
Not heading for the door every time something does not go the way they want it to,
That is not real grown,
One of the truest signs of grownness, is understanding that sometimes things go our way,
Other times it does not, but to make it or make a difference, we must stay in the fight,
I surely wouldn’t have my sixth book coming out,
If I hadn’t known that everyday is not a good day,
But tomorrow is another day,
And believing in myself and my work and staying the course,
The old cliché about nothing that comes easy is worth having is still real…
I feel when talking to them,
That I am preaching to the choir,
But they had better know, I won’t stop, until at least one of them listens…


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Saturday, November 15, 2008

The Right Path...For Me...

This morning I woke up singing,
Honestly, I woke myself up singing,
Mench and I drove home from a friend's party last night,
Listening to Shirley Murdock's gospel album,
And I woke myself up singing the song...
I got out of bed, pittering around, allowing so many things to resonate with me,
Mostly I was thinking of this literary journey,
I decided to go on,
Three years ago I knew I wanted to write books,
So I wrote one, a fire was born,
Then after writing three others in less than two years,
I knew it was time to change my path,
I was and am very proud of those first four books,
I also knew I wasn't on the right path for me,
When people would say or email telling me they appreciated the empowering message,
I was a bit puzzled, wondering what message they had gotten, and it also made me think long,
And hard about what messages I wanted to impart,
So when I sat down to write, Is NO Not Clear Enough For You?,
I decided to stop writing under a pen name,
Because I knew, I was finally, getting on the right, writing path for me,
When I completed SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation it was further confirmed for me...
That what I am meant to do is write stories, that are entertaining, thought-provoking,
And has a message that I want to own and stand by;
At the same time, I also know that I had to write all that other stuff,
To get to the place where I am, telling the stories I was meant to tell,
And for that I am grateful,
Also, I had to learn to stop spinning out of control, about where I was selling books,
If $$$$ in my community bought my books as opposed to **** on line or around,
The globe it was still $$$$....hello and that would allow me to do the things I love,
Like write the next book, donate to Breast Cancer research, mentor young women,
And spoil my grandbaby, Amira, even before she is born....GRATEFUL...
So, what I have learned, is there are many paths for many people,
And that is all good,
But, I Angelia, am on the Right Path for ME...

SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation will be donated to The Donna Hicken Foundation to help win the fight....


Friday, November 14, 2008


This morning I made a decision to lie in bed just a bit longer,
It ended up being two hours longer, but who's counting,
Then as I stood grinding chocolate infused coffee beans, I decided to sit down,
With the newspaper and enjoy the brew....ahhhhhhhhhh...
I love the fact the we are given free will to make our own decisions,
And what I know for sure is that the decisions we make, through God's Grace,
Determines our path...
I can remember when my mom was diagnosed with Breast Cancer in 1998,
The prognosis was not good, but she decided not to listen to that, she made a,
Decision to live, and though it was sometimes hard, ,live she did,
Almost two years later she had to have another mastectomy,
And the doctor told us surely, this was it, she had beat the odds and it was time for her to go,
Uh, she was still making decisions about her own life, with God's permission,
However, almost three years later, on Thankgiving day,
She made another decision,
She told me she was tired and ready to end her journey,
And two months later she was gone, I am so glad for her decisions,
Which is why I make decisions of my own;
I decide to live well, understanding it is only through HIS grace,
I decide to treat people as I wish to be treated,
To be joyful, rather than sad,
To fill my life with those making good decisions,
Than those who feel that they have no decisional choices,
I have decided that every single day of my life,
I will do the very best I can, with what I have,
And Thank God, all day long for allowing me to DECIDE!


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Thursday, November 13, 2008

Simple Conversing...

This morning my supervisor and I had our bi-monthly chat,
Usually he and I speak in the morning, say a couple words, he goes his way,
I go mine, we rarely if ever discuss work, he knows I can do what I am paid to do,
And his philosophy is ‘He hires the best so why tell ‘em how to do it’…I like that,
However, every now and then he will stop in my door to talk about something,
Usually its sports, I am a sports nut, as is he and I think he is surprised by how much,
I know about sports…anyway,
So we started out talking college football, segueing to pro ball,
We then talked investments, mortgages and the economy and retirement,
As usual we were in agreement on most basic things,
Hard work, education, responsibility,
As he prepared to leave, he turned back to ask,
‘Did you ever think we would have a Black President?’ His face was a vivid red…
“No, not in my life time.”
He smiled wide, admitting, neither had he.
Then this really genuine light came on in his eyes, betraying, how genuinely pleased,
He is…that touched me, because it further confirmed for me that what has transpired,
In the past week or too, transcends so many things,
Race, politics and differences,
We laughed a bit about the ‘Reverse Bradley Effect’, meaning how many,
White people probably told their friends they weren’t voting for Obama,
But did, we got a good chuckle out of that, then he said,
“Have a good day.”
I know it will probably be right before Christmas before we chat again,
But it is all good…
There is work to be done…


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Wednesday, November 12, 2008

Having Relations!

This morning, while listening to Shirley Murdock, I mused about relationships,
What creates them, then sustains them and how they come about,
Many of the best relationships I have, were borne of other relationships,
However, it is so wonderful to know that those relationships stand alone are bound,
Based upon their growth,
One such relationship is with my sister-in-law (sister for real) Betty,
I always knew her, but she is ten years older than I, so we weren’t friends,
Once I married her brother, we were sisters-in-law for the first ten years,
I lived around the country and we saw each other occasionally, but in 1998, my husband,
Was overseas for a year and I was in the hometown, she and I became friends, do or die sisters, and in the last several years, even moreso, we love, argue, agree and agree to disagree, but we depend on each other for love, support and honesty, and I know that our thing is exclusive of her brother, she and I would be girls no matter what…I love that…
Then there are some of the young women in my life,
They have either dated my son, had a crush on my son or been something with my son,
However, he is now married, expecting a child and lives thousands of miles away,
But these young women are part of my life, I love them,
They love me, we talk, meet for meals, the keep me abreast of the happenings in their lives, they are family, my surrogate daughters,
And though they were introduced to me by my son, their relationship with him,
Has nothing to do with me, thank God for that…
I’m not even sure what I am trying to say here other than,
Having relationships with people, should only be because you and that person,
Want to relate, it shouldn’t exist only because of some other relationship,
And it darn sure shouldn’t fall apart because of some other relationship…
We should have relations based on their own merits!

Love and Blessings!

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Tuesday, November 11, 2008



Monday, November 10, 2008

Too Much Information...

There is an amazing exchange of superflous information,
People simply tell too much stuff,
This morning I was having a conversation with a co-worker,
And he felt the need to say, that no one knows his views on certain things,
Politics for instance,
My eyebrow must have been etched really high, because his face colored and he asked if,
People thought they knew,
I told him honestly, 'Uh yeah, you have expoused certain phillosphies, and it is pretty clear,
When talking to you, what side you line up on, his face colored again ( a dead giveaway )
He tried to laugh it off, but it was pretty clear from the fact that he revisited the conversation,
With me a couple of times, I was on to something,
The message inherent in this is, Please don't sit around talking about, arguing about, kvetching about a thing, then act all shocked and outraged when someone sees you that way,
First impressions are lasting, and hard to change, unless they are good ones,
I tell the young people in my life all the time,
It is so easy to mess up a good rep,
But doggone near impossilbe to change a bad one,
People have to almost relocate in order for others to accept changes,
It is as unfair as heck, but as real as rain,
So, the easiest thing to do, I assure you,
Is to only put out there what you want people to know,
Keep quiet about what is dear to you,
Now you certainly don't have to listen to me,
But, if you don't want to be misjudged or thought different than you are,
Control your brand,
And don't put it all out there like that,
There are times when it is simply too much information,

This is another FREEBIE!


Careful Navigation...

My ability to navigate, carefully through life has been one of the biggest gifts,
God has blessed me with,
I have the ability to get along with anyone,
Because it really doesn’t take that much, just a smile, a bit of kindness,
And most importantly, knowing when to stay mum, keep one’s mouth closed…
I also know when a situation or a thing is wrong for me and I can gracefully extract myself from it, exiting with as much grace as possible…
Yesterday, I was in the restroom at church between services and one woman was telling
Another woman about my writing, she was unaware I was there,
My heart surged and soared because that is how I want and need it to happen,
I can and do advertise my work, but not at work or church,
What I have tried to do is write my books,
And allow those who read and love them to spread the word to the masses,
I am sure some find this as a weird marketing practice,
And it probably is for some,
However, I made a calculated decision to navigate slowly, through this writing thing,
Making enough to allow me to do the next one better…
Until I arrived at the stories I truly wanted to tell, in the way I wanted to tell them,
I held myself back, just enough to be able to do that,
And to stand in a rest room and hear someone say,
‘You know that young woman (young!) who sits in the middle aisle, the tall one, with,
The curly hair,the kinda quiet one, well, she is a writer and a good one, too, you should get her books!” Woo, that made me smile and my heart thud. The ladies in the restroom turned around looking at me, the description I guess was a good one…saying,
“We didn’t know!”
I winked as I left, with orders, thinking, ‘You know when you know!”

Love and Blessings!

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Friday, November 7, 2008

Think Like Me, Be Like Me...Please!

As those of you who venture to Ramblings know, I stay in a sense of perpetual fascination,
And as I watch people this week, I am even more fascinated,
There are a good many people, who when talking to me, in particular, those from different,
Races, ethnicities and belief systems,
Are trying to arrange their faces into some semblance of happiness about our new President,
I am not fooled and I don't need to be, we can do what we do, albeit different and still be,
As cool as popsicles from the freezer!
One of my good friends walked into my office, asking me was I happy about our President,
I said 'OH Yeah!"
It was apparent, she wasn't, because she didnt say another word about it,
But, you know what, we went on, talking about things that we mutually care about,
And she did what I would have done had the reverse been true,
She left it alone, being a mature adult,
However, there are way too many folks who are of the mindset,
'If you don't think like me, vote like me, wanna be like me,
Then how can we be friends or even get along,
Hello People,
God made us all different, with different mindsets, different belief systems, skin tones,
Values, desires, wishes and dreams,
But you know what, he also gave us the ability to coexist peacefully,
If we choose to,
I tell people that all the time,
There is not blueprint of what a person should be like if they are a certain race,
Ethnicity or gender....we need to get over ourselves...
I have had my own people comment on my style and choices,
About the simplest stuff,
The food I eat, how I speak, dress, own my own madness,
I have been told how I do it, isn't Black enough,
As if though, doing me, my way is associated with some,
Arbitrary sense of Blackness!
All you need to be for me and to me is this,
Spiritual, Loving, Honest and Kind...
That right there makes you my kind of people,
How you dress, eat, speak or any other superficial thing,
Simply makes you UNIQUELY YOU!



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Think Like Me...Please!

Thursday, November 6, 2008

Enough For All..Honest!

I could see fear on the faces of some on Tuesday night,
And I clearly understood, many folks who have done someone wrong,
Are always fearful of a comeuppance, or sometimes the fear is that because someone looks,
Different or thinks different they can't have your best interests at heart,
That my friends is 'Stinkin' Thinkin'...
Those who believe KNOW that no one can stand in the way of their blessings,
And there is truly and abundance for all with faith,
I know I am right,
Many times those who try to block your blessings, leave you open for better blessings,
I remember moving back to the States from Hawaii, moved to Oklahoma,
Lord, what a difference,
I had spent the last two years in a job with great pay and even greater stress,
A Sistah, needed to exhale,
I went on this interview, in fact I was told by the headhunter who had found me the job,
The job was mine, just needed to pass a drug profile and background check,
Because job was a small, though very busy loan company, no probs there,
Clean urine, cleaner record,
So I went in, met the Sister who managed the office,
Had a great interview, submitted my bodily fluids and filled out the forms,
She told me she would call me in a few days,
Never heard a word, called a few times, left messages, Nada...
A few weeks later, I was at the Dr. and ran into a woman who looked vaguely familiar,
She came over telling me she was the receptionist at the loan company,
She then commenced to tell me that once the manager saw my resume,
She told them she would never hire me, I might try to take her job...
A couple days later, the phone rang,
I was needed for a few days at Job Corps,
Well those days became three years, and I had the best work experience,
God had ever blessed me with, had always meant to counsel,
But had gotten caught up in other things,
And what I knew for sure was that the woman who had tried,
To block had simply, created a path for me to go to my better blessing,
I saw her one day, she walked into my office to enroll her son,
He was struggling,
She remembered me, I could see it in her eyes,
But I knew she didn't want me to acknowledge that,
And I didn't, I was about that child,
And I knew there was a lesson in there for both of us,
I learned mine, my prayer is that she learned hers....
You can't stop anyone else's growth,
And if you try to you might block your own blessings,
There is enough out there for all of us...HONEST!


SCHAE'S STORY: A Woman's Transformation
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Wednesday, November 5, 2008

Don't Give Me Nothing!

I found myself thinking about the James Brown song this morning,
“I don’t want nobody to give me nothing, open up the door and I will get it myself!”
That ran through my mind at midnight as I listened to Barack Obama’s acceptance speech
No one gave him anything, he went out there and got it,
Never compromising who he was or where he was from,
We can all learn from that,
It reminded me of my life,
All I had growing up was faith, family and a brain,
And I was told everyday that it was all I needed,
One thing I knew by the time I was grown, was this,
I would have to study hard,
Work hard,
And Pray harder,
I would also have to go against the grain,
Stand for what I knew was right, even when no one agreed with me, but me,
That has been particularly true in the last few years,
But I was raised to be beholden to no one,
That old Billie Holiday song was a mantra,
‘Mama may have, Papa may have, but God bless the child that has his own,
I remember when I was starting eighth grade,
I wanted alligator loafers,
That wasn’t in my mom’s budget, so she told me to get the penny loafers,
I said, that is okay, I will get them myself,
Within a week I was working,
Within two weeks I had my loafers,
Because one thing I knew and know for sure,
If you want it, you gotta go get it!



Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Here We Are...

This morning I lay in bed, praying, for so many things,
As a prayer, I know what it can bring,
What I also know is that no matter how today's election turns out,
Tomorrow is another day and we will still have to get out and get about the business,
Of living, loving, working, believing, passing something on,
One of the things that has always driven me as a parent,
Is the imprint I would leave on my children, their children, and their children,
Many would accuse me of being so orderly, reserved, careful or whatever,
And I own those things, but what I knew more than anything,
Is that I needed to always carry myself as a model for those who love and watch me,
And they are always watching,
That is also what I pray many get from this campaign,
That there is more than one road to take,
And the high road is the better one,
I watched Senator Obama,
Coolly, for the most part work his way through,
I heard and read people talking about,
What he should say and how he should say it,
But what he knew as I know,
Is this,
His children and other people's children,
Were watching him and whatever he did or how he did it,
Is what they would remember, not what he said or how he said it,
We have to be careful about not talking out the side of our necks,
Because no matter what message we impart with our lips,
They are watching to see what and how we do it,
And most likely some young person,
Whose first defense would have been to cuss someone out,
Or even smack them,
Might think back to this time and decide,
To think and plan their way out of a situation,
By taking the highest road available,
Now that is cool to me,
I have just gotten as political as I get....

Now go VOTE!!!


Monday, November 3, 2008

Comparative Analysis...

One of the most detrimental things one can do, is spend their lives, comparing,
It to the lives of others, we were all made different, with different paths and different courses of action,
However, in all of this came another revelation,
I see people who spend all of their time with people who they can compare themselves,
Favorably too and always come out on top,
Case in point, folks who only befriend people who aren’t doing as well as they are,
In this situation they can always look at themselves from a position of doing better,Even if the only people being fooled are themselves,
The reverse can also be true,
Those who only can converse or engage with those they think are ‘all that’,
As if though some of what they have will jump off on them, or others will say,
So and so must be all that, he or she is with, whomever,
That must be exhausting to always have to compare oneself , while posing and pretending,
I am tired just writing about it,
Last night I looked into the face of a younger person, who has spent all of his twenties,
Running with a crowd, to whom he can feel superior,
And running from anyone and anything that will stretch him or make him do something,
I could see watery eyes as he dealt with the fact, maybe for the first time,
That the only thing that has ever stood in his way, was him…
And my prayer was that he also realized at that moment that silly comparisons,
Is wasted energy, that we all have a unique bag of tricks to bring to the table,
I know I have frustrated many when I have held on to the me in me,
Refusing to be anything other than what God made me,
I try to explain, simply, it is not you don’t have it going on, you do…
But I need to and want to have it going on for me…the way I am…period…
You do you, I do me and together we all can get there…
Nothing COMPARES to that!


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Sunday, November 2, 2008

Some Will Leave...

This morning, sitting in church, I had so many revelations,
Someone, an elder related to me that they didn't get my young adult book,
I tried to explain that my goal when writing that or any such thing, I have learned to get outside of ME, and become who I am writing about, because I know the inability to see anyway, except my way, is growth stunting, and a real mentor, homie, lover, friend, has to be able to see someone, other than themselves!
Thus some will leave...not sure what they read or why, and that is okay,
Another revelation was about this very blog,
The more spiritual my rendering became, some left,
I knew that going in, as I revealed myself as a spiritual warrior,
I would lose some, but, that too is okay, better than okay,
Cause then and only then do I know I am on the right path,
The third revelation was in knowing that we will lose some of our church members,
Our new Pastor brings the gospel, hard and true,
And he is unswayed by what people say, do or represent,
He is there to bring the word, as God has shown him...
And too many of us struggle with owning that God's word is for us,
But it truly isn't about us, just to make us comfortable or feel good about our own stuff,
We have to be able to get through the message, past the messenger, and realize,
That to grow spiritually or any other way,
We had better be open to the truth as it is written and as it is told otherwise...
Finally, I had to check myself,
Knowing that sometimes I will have to be the one to leave...
Leave things alone that stunts my spiritual growth,
Or my walk,
Or my peace,
Leave people alone who aren't good for me, or my walk,
It's hard to stay, even harder to leave,
But we know when it's time...
Oh yes we do!

Love and Blessings!

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