Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on You can access her bibliography on search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan

Contact information:
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Monday, October 25, 2010

Names and Words...

“Sticks and Stones will break my bones, but words will never hurt me.” Of course, we all remember this childhood ditty. But like many things we say offhand, it is so not true. There are words that hurt. I have been told they sometimes hurt more than fists, but are simply harder to detect.

So many people I know can recall every hurtful word they have ever been called, no matter how long ago it was. And we all know that there is the word that a person of another race better never call a black person, ever. And women can say all they want to that they don’t mind being called a B***** or H*, but if said in the wrong context (not that there is a right one) by the wrong person and it is earrings off and fists balled up time. That is why we have to be especially careful about what we say, how we say it and to whom we utter it. I have learned (and I had to learn) the power of words and their impact. I spent years wounded (was called lots of names by some I loved) and became quite the wounder,(saying lots of things to those I loved).

I knew how to use words in such a way that I left my victims hurt and bloody. Never had to cuss even, just lashed them. But through growth and understanding I came to understand how those words were impacting people and more importantly how it lessened me. I venture to say I am still a work in progress, because sometimes when I feel backed into a corner, the tongue sharpens. I will say that I have come a mighty long way.

However, words also have a way of healing and repairing. I am going to venture out and say that people want love and acceptance whether they are willing to admit it or not, particularly by those we love and accept. And I am here to tell you that words said make huge differences. Sometimes, there are people who do everything in their power to rankle you and have you say something ugly. My advice for that is to place space between you. I confess right here in front of God and everybody that there are a few people I have become almost a mute around because anytime we engage it is bound to go awry. That is knowing when to hold and when to fold, or knowing when to speak and when to nod. HaH.

More importantly we need to say,I love you, I hear you, I forgive are special, you are smart...I support you...and when we have to say, I cannot support that we can make it taste and feel better by how we say it. Sometimes, a simple, "I love you, but I cannot support that because..."

I know many are thinking, it is so hard not to say such and such to so and so: or to bare my feelings to him or her or them. I agree; but it is best to not block your own blessings by saying it or not baring them. And something I have learned for sure, that what we say and how we act is our own choice. Every morning before my feet hit the floor I pray to be better, do better, say better. When I fall short I simply ask forgiveness, forgive myself and move on….



Shelia G said...

Words do hurt. Words sink in to the system. That's why it's so important to input positive affirmations and scriptures into our system so that they overshadow the negative things that are put in our minds by outside people and sources (i.e., tv, magazines, etc).

Linda Chavis said...

What Shelia said..

Phe said...

Its funny how you always write about something that is or was recently on my mind and providing insight ..... :-)

D.J. McLaurin said...

Angelia, I love visiting your blog because you provoke thought, self-searching, and discussion. I have long heard of and even taught the power of the tongue, yet only recently, in my maturity, have I noticed that I'm constantly saying words like, "I'm broke", "I'm never gonna finish," "I'm a mess," etc. etc...til one day I noticed I was a procrastinating, broke mess. It's not only words we throw out or receive from others that hurt, our own words are molotove coctails that we throw back into our own space. I am learning to speak positive and re-direct my thinking to match that speech. I am learning that even my problems are lessons and blessed opportunities to do better. I am learning...yes still learning...that God always wins.

Sharon said...

Sheila &'ve hit it right on the nail.

Unknown said...

A friend of mine have on her v-mail "taste your words b/4 you speak them, you may have to eat them one day"
Words do hurt, enough said. reminding us.