This week has been one of the best and at the same time one of the most emotionally draining...
The best in that many good things have been happening with my writing and the promotion of it,
I waited for a long time to really promote what I did...and there were so many reasons for that,
As such as soon as I allowed God to guide my hand, I could do it...
However, as a believer and as I am often taught in church, one of the most difficult things to deal with is that the life of a someone on a spiritual path is often difficult and filled with ups and downs...this was such a week...
On Friday, one of my mentees, confessed something to me that I know I have to deal with,
But am unsure how and still praying about it...Something must be done...trials...
While all that was happening books were selling ....Blessings...
In the middle of the week, I had two phone calls from young people in my life,
And I had to take on the position of the teacher, the chastiser, I had to be as real as I could,
Out of love...and it was hard...tribulations...
More books were selling...work was going well...Blessings...
Yesterday, in many ways was the most blessed and the most cursed at the same time...
I wrote a blog yesterday morning, simply based on how I was feeling, needed to get it out there...
For the first time, I didn't temper it, it wasn't about anything but me and how I felt...
Every now and then I vent...
Well I hurt someone's feelings, badly enough for them to attack...
At first I was shocked, but later I was not as much, because after reading and rereading the blog,
I knew what had happened, I made something I was writing, totally about me...and the reader made it about them...and I guess that is why I have been so careful...in my writing and in my blogging...because what I want people to take from it is simply this,
A young girl who by no means other than her faith was able to get through some really, bad life experiences and come out on the other side, able to do things she loves and believes in, that girl is me...
There were so many things that happened to me and that I went through as a young girl, that sometimes I don't even believe it, and I guess what is most unbelievable for many is the path I chose and how I chose it...That is why I believe so strongly in mentoring, because I know for myself that if I could come through to the other side, anyone, everyone can...
One of the questions the Anonymous commenter asked was this:
What DO YOU have...and I knew that they had seen my saying God favors me as a material thing...but it wasn't about that at all...
What I have is faith that I can get through anything...belief that I am a survivor and can take care of myself...though I have been blessed with a partner...also God has given me the best gift of all and that is the gift of being able to get up every single day, knowing that even when I have messed up, he will forgive me and allow me to learn something from it, because faith has taught me that every day is a new day and every day God renews...THAT IS ALL I HAVE...
I always knew that life is filled with the Good, the Bad and the lesson...
And a lesson for me has been this...
In order to write, to touch, to grow...there are going to be somedays that is filled with weeds,
But as I tell my young people, if you pull the weeds, fertilize and water...beautiful plants can grow....I also tell them that the planting and tending, never ends....
Blessings,
angelia
