One of the harder things to do is be true to oneself, no matter what…a few weeks ago my son and I had a disagreement and he called me ‘fake’…oh my God, it was as though he had splashed hot water on my heart…hurt me to my very bones…on the one hand I knew he was lashing out, but on the other hand I had to check myself and ask where that came from…and I got it…I was the Queen of making things better…I often did things I didn’t want to do for what I thought was the greater good, I often left things unsaid to people I loved because I didn’t want to make them mad and had decided they couldn’t handle certain truths…oh my God, that by definition is ‘fake’…OW…
I have been told by so many that I am always ‘keeping it real’ and am so honest. That is also true, that is the paradox of me…I am honest to a fault and as real as rain in the spring time, HOWEVER, when it comes to those I love or feel some responsibility to and for…I have a tendency to not be as real as I ought to be or as honest as the situation calls for…
So as a result of that unexpected and painful conversation, I am growing, learning to be to my own-self be true…which means that where grown people are concerned, I will keep my mouth shut, with the exception of if someone is going to be harmed, then all bets are off…how-sen-ever, if asked, my answer will be as honest and as truthful as I can based upon what God has taught me, so don’t ask if you aren’t trying to hear that…it also means that if I am asked for something and even if I have it, if I don’t want to do it or give it, then the answer will be NO~ Now that one is going to be a bit difficult, but helloooo…I am trying to be true here…I am going to have relearn that being a wife, mother, sister, friend, mentor, et al, does not always mean I have to say yes to something …it is my God given right to ‘Just Say No’…If you want me to keep it real, then real it is…
The other most important thing is this, I am quirky, there are things that I like doing, that others around me might not, cool…if you see me curled up reading a book and having a glass of wine…feel free not to join me…DO YOUR THING…
If you like shopping or going on trips with a lot of other people, count me out…I love vacations, but kind of just want to go with my man…I love shopping, but am so eclectic that I have to do it alone…this in no way means that we cannot do things together…but let’s focus on those things that we both enjoy…TOGETHER AT THE SAME TIME….
Shoot, I am really getting into this TO THINE OWNSELF BE TRUE THING, I am also loving being a GROWING Woman…it is DA BIZNESS~
BE THE PEACE YOU SEEK~
Angelia
www.angeliamenchan.com
http://acvermen.blogspot.com
