Positive reinforcement is one of the top five things a parent can provide for a child,
Love, food, clothing, shelter, positive reinforcement…
After years of talking to young people and have them talk to me,
I have learned that our kids are often what we say they are…to them…
Children who hear messages of empowerment are empowered,
Kids who hear messages that they will never amount to anything,
Will many times fulfill that prophecy…
Of course there are exceptions to every rule,
But my experience and observations have born this out,
One of the most startling things to me when I was a Job Corps counselor was discovering, there were parents who didn’t want their kids to do well,
Who would actually tell them they didn’t need advanced education,
Or who would block them from opportunities,
I struggled to wrap my mind around that, until one day a parent revealed it to me by saying, “Well he has a high school diploma, I never even got that, so why does he need college or the military, he doesn’t need to get too big for his own good…”
A light bulb went off in my head, the wind went out of my sails and I am sure the ‘mad’ vein was pulsing in my throat…I wanted to scream, ‘This isn’t about you!!!’
But I knew it was, because this person was unable to reinforce success to her child, because she was too busy comparing what she hadn’t done to what the child would possibly do!’
I was amazed because I was of the mindset that in order to preserve all of us, we would have to encourage the next generation to do even better than we had.
I recall a my son’s seventh grade teacher telling me my son was cocky,
I asked why, because if he had been disrespectful, I was going to handle him…
She told me, ‘No, he is very respectful, he just thinks too highly of himself. He feels he can do anything. He told me you told him he could.”
‘I sure did tell him that…he needs to know that the only thing that stands between him and his dream is a pillow and he can do anything, anything he chooses to do. I am sorry as an educator you find that cocky.’ Her eyes didn’t quite meet mine after that exchange.
I am sorry but I told my kids, my nieces and will tell any kid who crosses my path that their success is available with belief, hard work and perseverance….
But they also need someone in their ears, all the time, POSITIVELY REINFORCING them, telling them they can do anything…Because They Can!
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Blessings,
Angelia
Is No Not Clear Enough For You? @
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/
www.authorsden.com/angeliavmenchan
