I GOTTA ASK?

Some of my best thinking happens in the shower, I wake up and immediately, I pray and read my scriptures, and by the time I make my way to the shower, I am wide awake and ready for thinking. This morning, I was going over in my mind why is it that one must ask for things, there is someone I went out on a limb for and every single time I need the person to do what they promised to do, I have to ask...what is that all about? Really... Then I thought it just must be me...some flaw in me that makes me have to ask... Last night I checked my phone and there was this message from a hometown local newspaper guy and he had received responses on a press release I had sent out and he wanted me to know that he was glad to have done it, and that he had been promoting me without me having to ask or send him anything. I told him that I would take out an ad in his upcoming release and he said, "Mrs. Menchan, you don't seem to get it that I truly support you and that if you want to run an ad, okay but you have run so many and it isn't necessary. You really don't have to ask for everything." Tears popped in my eyes, because if I were as honest with myself as I am with others I would have to admit that if feels like that sometimes. That if I don't ask or pay, it isn't going to happen. Now mind you, I know I have a do or die crew and they are all about me...but there are those times when I know deep in my gut, that unless I ask or pay, it ain't going down. Mostly, I am cool with all that because I was raised to pay my own way, not bite off more than I can chew or pay for and there are no free lunches, but sometimes, every now and then, that soft vulnerable part of me me, is poked and I feel it. And usually it is because of kind words like the ones spoken to me. Last week, I was talking on line with my super-supportive, daughter/sister/friend, Dr. Folake Taylor and she said, "Mama Deep, it seems that because we never say we are overwhelmed or need something people may think we are perfect." I told her at the time and meant it, "Baby, I will admit when I am struggling..." And I will, but it is hard as all heck to admit that to get something from those who vow to be down or on the team, I have to always ask...and sometimes I feel the burn of it... BE BLESSED~ angelia!