This morning I was thinking of my favorite books and one of my all times faves is Just Above My Head by James Baldwin. And that started me to thinking about things that were just above my head, just out of my realm of understanding, and I must say it had nothing to do with the book…anyway.
Yesterday when I got home I was drained, it was so doggone hot, the thermostat read 102 when I got in my car and it had been hot in my office all day. So as soon as I was in the door, I jumped in the shower, allowing the water to pour down on me from head to toe. I must have stood there for 10 minutes. Finally getting out I made my way to watch the beginning of Oprah’s celebration and as soon as Beyonce started singing I knew the catty remarks would start. I logged on to my social networks and sure enough there was such vitriol. People commented on everything about her, from her hair to her music, to her outfit. And I wondered again, why do people, women in particular have such disdain for other women, particularly pretty women. We don’t have to like her music, we don’t have to like her hair or how she dresses, at all. But why must we be so nasty, make such ugly remarks. And I have noticed, yes done a little research and it seems the lovelier or more successful the woman is the more ugly the remarks. Is it simple jealousy or is it something else. I really don’t get it at all. It is something I have wondered about for most of my life and have never quite figured it out. And it is really pointless, because hate all we wish, she is not going to stop being attractive, or selling millions of records or any of those things. I tell you it is just above my head.
Another thing that is above my head is folks’ desire to have us think like them, like what they like, cosign on their madness. Years ago, I had a supervisor who would always ask my opinion on this that or the other, when I agreed it was as though I made her day. When I didn’t you would think I had stolen her boyfriend or at least her puppy. So, finally I asked her. And she told me, ‘Angelia, we really respect and admire you, so we want you to agree with us. Validate what we think.’ Seriously? So, I said, ‘Please tell me that isn’t why you hired me because if so, it is time for me to go. I took this job because I am a budget professional and also have spent years studying contracting regulations and personnel law and I cannot ethically agree, just to agree.” Of course, she said, “Of course not.” But, I could tell by the way she held her head, and didn’t quite meet my eyes, that she wished that had been added to my contract. Hee! Just above my head.
Then the other day, someone walked in my office and I was listening to music, there was a hip-hop component to the music. I turned it on mute so I could address whatever they wanted to ask. However, for a few minutes, they wanted to talk about how they were so surprised that I listened to rap music. I didn’t bother to tell them that what I was listening to wasn’t rap per se. But since I wasn’t in the mood for all that, I simply stared at them. Finally, they said, “I only like easy listening, I cannot wrap my mind around anything else at my age.” Still, no words from me, just that Angelia Menchan stare. After several pregnant pauses, they couldn’t even remember what they had come for. Of course not because they were too busy trying to get in my business and somehow change my mind about my choices. I must say they should know by now they were wasting my time and their own.
I like what I like and I respect others choices to like what they like. If I am in your car and you are listening to something I don’t care for I keep my mouth closed and tune it out. If there is a performer I don’t care for but many others do, I say to each his or her own and simply don’t purchase the music or turn the channel when it comes on, I don’t start talking about them as if they are someone I KNOW, because here is the thing, We really don’t know these people. We really don’t. Of course I am clueless about any of it, so I am simply Rambling about my observations because honest to God, it is ALL ABOVE MY HEAD, and I am glad about it.
Be BLESSED~
Angelia www.angeliamenchan.com
