Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on You can access her bibliography on search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan

Contact information:
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Tuesday, November 30, 2010


If there is one thing I have said ad nauseum over the past month is, PEOPLE are different.

Black people are not only different than other races, we are also different one from the other. The same applies to women, women are not all the same and they will not respond to stimuli in the same way. I become very exhausted in these conversations where the automatic response is, ‘If that had happened to me I would have done such and such.’

Maybe you would have and maybe you would not have, but at any rate, what does what you would have done have to do with what I would do, should do or might do. Let me say this, nothing. There are some universal truths about a certain group of people but individually we differentiate.

One conversation I was in had a much older woman saying what she would have done in the case of another older woman’s situation. I blinked, because I knew she was just talking and didn’t have a clue. I also understood that there was no talking to her, because she genuinely believes her way is the only way…Whew.

Then there was a discourse about how women should respond when they ‘think’ they know what their man is doing; OR even thinking, egads! I had to interject in this one to be sure. Because running amuck based on thoughts when you could be dead azz wrong just might speak to the relational divide we are suffering. And besides is a man and a woman at least; at a very minimum entitled to their thoughts? Because God knows if my man were to have dismissed me for some of the thoughts that have run through my mind, he would have curbed me years ago. For real. When in the world did we need to be that in control? After awhile all I could say was, WE ALL DIFFERENT, WE ALL DIFFERENT…LALALALALA….

Another was a simple discussion on food. I said I didn’t like beans, unless they were green beans. Oh my God you would have thought I had said I was going to dance naked in the square covered in chicken feathers. They questioned my ethnicity. Saying all Black people like beans. Umm not me. They questioned my upbringing, saying THEIR mamas made them eat whatever she cooked. Umm, mama did too. With the beans she usually cooked meat and rice, so I ate that, with no beans please. And here is the one that gets me every time, the ‘now that you have a little money’ mantra. Umm no, didn’t eat beans when I was broke as a joke, just ate more rice or potatoes thank you very much. Again, we are ALL DIFFERENT…sheesh.

I actually do get folks wanting those they love, like,or are forced to be around to have some commonality. We usually do, women have womanhood, black folks have blackness, readers have books, writers have words. But, that thing that makes us, profoundly us is usually those quirky idiosyncrasies that make us stand out and define us one from the other.

However, I have come to the conclusion that in many cases it isn’t a simple wanting a commonality but to simply have folks cosign and agree with us, even when we don’t. Folks just want to control something...

Well, my LOVES, that ain’t going down here and LOVE YOU, I do…
Be Peace!

Friday, November 19, 2010

No is a GOOD THING...

The other day I received a text from one of my girls, she told me she needed two copies of the 'NO' book. I knew she meant Is NO Not Clear Enough For You? A book I published exactly three years ago, with my main readership being young women. She wanted a copy for her {22} and her sister {15}. I told her the MamaDeep delivery system would get it to her. That is the one book, that I have given away more than any. And though one reviewer found it a bit preachy {oh my soul} most reviewers and more importantly,READERS, love the story, a young girl who has found what empowers her to say no to things she is not interested in AND a way to reach other young women. Because to me NO is a most powerful word that frees you from burdens and allows you choices...

As a teen coming of age in the early seventies, I know for a hard cold fact that if I hadn't said no to all the grown ass men, who were trying to get at me, or all the alcohol and drug use that was abundant at the time, who the heck know where I would have been. Instead I chose to say yes to good grades, working a job starting at 14, reading books and mostly me.

Now, in my 50s, which are the LOVEliest years...I am still having to learn to excercise the NO word. Because if I did not I would never have anytime for me, I would work 7 days a week, write 12 books a year, cook gourmet meals each day, see my mentees all the time, purchase every book everyone I know writes, attend every online venture anyone is having...give all my money to anyone who asks...

It is true...I kid you not...but having learned to say...Umm I am tired and taking of this afternoon...need to regroup....
Or I am so grateful ya'll love my work but this write or die woman really needs to publish less books...
Or honey, please stop and get some food on YOUR way home, I's tired...
Or children, I love me some you...but umm no...
Or if I attend some of your events or buy some of your stuff; it doesnt mean I love you any less....
And finally, the acmenchan atm is closed until much replenishment or perhaps even longer....
WHEW, that felt really good and makes me KNOW, NO is a good thing...

Go on Try it...



Tuesday, November 9, 2010


I love a good discussion; revel in a debate, but I don’t want anything to do with a conversation that is focused on bashing or forcing a mindset change. I have changed my mind many times, and there have been times when it was based on a good conversation or debate, but never because someone felt that the only way to see things is their way and if you don’t, they will resort to street-fighting.

I have seen a good bit of this over the past week as voting occurred and with the release of the Tyler Perry’s new movie, ‘For Colored Girls.’ The way I feel about voting is that all of us as right thinking, caring about our future adults should exercise our God given and hard won right to vote. I also believe that even if we look similar and have similar histories and circumstances it is our choice who we vote for.

As individuals we get to choose. We may not agree, may have totally differing reasons for our choices, but we do have the right to choose. We also, alas, have the right to choose not to vote. It breaks my heart that we don’t see how important our votes and choices are, but here again is choice and I am not going to get in a bloody nose battle with someone after the voting is done because they didn’t do what I wished or my way. What sense does that make, ultimately. Don’t change a dang thang.

As to movies, I am bemused and amused by how wrapped around the axle we get about THAT. I read For Colored Girls who have Considered Suicide 35 years ago and loved the poetry, filled with pain and some hope. As to the movie, I plan to go this week with an open mind and heart. Only because I wish too. I have also been fortunate enough to engage in some intense, rollicking, agreeing to disagree conversations about it, where regardless of how people felt they remained respectful. One of my faves had several men opine about why they weren’t interested in seeing the movie. And while I didn’t necessarily agree, I totally felt it was their right to chose.

Now yesterday I saw several, can I say rather unNice and downright contentious debates going on and I chose to glide on by. Because while I felt everyone is entitled to their opinion, I don’t get down with slinging mud for mud’s sake. I also don’t feel it is my place to tell Mr. Perry how to produce and direct his movies. The man knows what he is doing and he is wise enough to know that everyone is not going to agree.

I am unsure why people feel they can tell writers what to write, singers what to sing, designers what to design and directors what to direct. There is a simple solution you know to all of this, if you don’t like it, don’t spend a dime on it.

Seems so simple to me, though it seems that MY PEOPLE, yes I said it, feel we have the right to tell everybody how to do their own thing, whether we are doing a thing or not. And to those of us who have our own artistic endeavors, we might want to be mindful, because the next thing getting bashed might be our thing…


Friday, November 5, 2010



Delilah by Shelia Goss, is Ms. Goss’ debut as a Christian fiction author and what a debut it is. Delilah is a naturally beautiful woman who has been hired to bring down Samson, who is the Senior Pastor of a growing church and engaged to be married to Julia. While on someone else’s mission Delilah makes the ultimate error and falls in love with the handsome pastor.

On the other hand, Samson knows he is weak for Delilah but his focus is on marrying Julia, who he considers to be a Proverbs 31 woman, thus perfect wife material, but Delilah had other plans. I absolutely loved how Ms. Goss fleshed out these characters and never made the good characters too good or the not so good ones beyond redemption. She literally made me care about what happened to them and had me praying for some and rooting others on.

From the first words I was captured by the storyline and loved the naming of the characters and the tasteful way she wrote about the characters shenanigans. The book was highly entertaining, yet never lost sight of the Christian message. I recommend Delilah to those who love Christian fiction and to all readers who enjoy great writing and story line.

Delilah was provided by the author for review purposes

Thursday, November 4, 2010

Some Bitter with the SWEET...

One of the things I learned early on is that if you take the sweet, you will have to swallow some bitter. Just the way it is. A few weeks ago I was at a book conference and when I was done speaking one of the sisters asked, who mentored me, since I mentored so many. For several minutes I was speechless.

Because it occurred to me that in the past several years I had been left mentorless. My mom died in 03, my godmother in ’04, my aunts Elouise and Sadie in ’05 and with a couple of teachers, those had been my mentors, nurturers and more importantly the women who gave me a bit of bitter with my sweet. They all told me how smart I was, in some cases how beautiful and what I was worth. But, baby, they all especially, mama, aunt elouise and my godmother they straight told me what I needed to work on, straight up. And when I think of them, I smile at some of the things they said and how they said. So, finally, I answered, 'they prepared this child in the way she should go..."

I recall when I went to work at 14 and I was going on and on to mama about what the lady I worked for had said, mama looked at me in that way she had and said, ‘Angi, that is all well and good, but don’t let that white woman fill your head with a bunch of foolishness, there are a lot of things you can and will do, but the one thing you can never do is change the brown skin you in.’ and she said it hard!

My feelings were slightly singed, but there were so many times over the years, I had to thank my mama, for ‘keeping it so real.’

Then there was my aunt elouise who would just jack you up, out of nowhere and remind you where you came from, she would make you homemade biscuits or sweet potato pie, but baby, she would cold-cock you with her cutting wisdom. Her motto was, ‘no matter what your man got, take yo ass to work.’

My godmother on the hand thought I was the chosen one and made no bones about it, she was there when I was born and helped wash that proverbial ‘veil’ off my face. She would give me the man talks, ‘Don’t take no wooden nickels and sex should be as pleasurable for a woman as a man…”

I miss those women who loved me soft and hard.

Now as a mother, mentor, grandmother, friend, et al one of the hardest things but necessary ones is when I have to pull off the gloves and just say it. Because we are not good mothers or mentors or friends if we always say what they wish to hear….
We have the responsibility to tell the loving truth…

“We have to say son, I love you, I do, but you need to get a damn job! Also, don’t make any more babies you cannot raise.”

“Daughter, you look real good in those tight jeans, but you better make sure what kind of message you want to send. Because I know you think it don’t matter now, but one day you will need to be more than fine.”

“Girl, that is really a cute handbag, but you know doggone well you cannot afford that when the light bill is due and Christmas is coming.”

“Child, love him all you want, but love yourself more and when someone anyone, tries to get you to do anything that is not right for you and if they say, you would if you love me, say, ‘Hail to the no…” and get gone.

“Son, pull up your pants when you go on a job interview. I know that’s the style, but you need a job not prove to anyone how hip you are.”

Because I kid you not, if we just give them the sweet stuff and none of the bitter, they are going to be so unprepared for the world, because the world is not going to mollycoddle them.

But remember they also need some sweet with the bitter. The goal is not to beat ‘em down but to build them up, realistically…


Tuesday, November 2, 2010

Sometimes we just WRONG...

This morning I woke up thoughtful. Wondering if people ever think, ‘What if I am wrong…” I know I have thought it on occasion…(smirk).
What started this train of thought was yesterday I was having a somewhat heated exchange with someone and her words to me was: “I want to be right.” I said, ‘I know but sometimes you aren’t.”

After a lengthy conversation and us cooling down considerably, she admitted that there were many components of what I did that she didn’t know at all. Nodding, I had to say, “So please do me the favor of not pretending to.” Her face reddened and I further expounded by saying, “you often nod your head when I am telling you something or say I know, when I know and you know that you don’t know and that is a conversation ender for me. Because, why should I try to explain if you know.” She nodded and admitted that she had already resolved that she would do better. Well, alright.

She also knows that when I don’t know I will freely say I don’t and then I will research and take classes or courses until I figure it out. And if I am wrong, I have LEARNED as hard as it is to say, ‘I was wrong.’
And that is what set me to thinking about how much sometimes mess up in our quest to be right at all costs.

If we make a mistake in hurting someone, do we go back and say, ‘I was wrong…”

If we walk away from a job, that we need really badly, do we even try to go back and say, “I made a mistake I was wrong.’

If we have always done something the same way, over and over again and continue to get the less than great result, do we even admit to ourselves, ‘Damn, I am wrong and really need to do something else, or do we continue to do that wrong thing, hoping that at some point we will throw it against the wall and it will finally stick.’

I know for myself that I feel so many internal changes going on inside me and there are some things I have had to flat-out admit I was just wrong about. And that the only way I can do better, be better, live better is to admit my wrongs, ask for redemption and move on. And to work every day, trying to be less, and do less wrong as I go and when I am wrong be woman enough, to admit my wrongness each time…

Because I am not so much focused on being right all the time, but moreso on being wrong less…


Monday, November 1, 2010


One thing I have learned over the years is that people want to keep you in a place where they feel most comfortable. Their memories are based on a time when you were how they wanted you to be. And mostly I surmised, to my chagrin was when you were more dependent on them or in a lesser situation.

I laugh hysterically sometimes when I have a family member say, “I know you”…in some kind of way. I laugh because I have not lived for any length of time around any family member in over thirty years. For twenty plus years I visited every couple of years and in the last eleven, usually three or four times a year. And if they were asked to describe me, usually they would describe a teenager or very young woman…because that is how they remember me and for whatever reason that is what they are most comfortable with. Because the truth is we can only usually ‘see’ growth or change if it is of some advantage to us.

The same is particularly true when you are on a spiritual walk. Everyone who knew when you drank, cussed or were up to some other shenanigans are lying in wait to remind you of when you were more ‘wordly’ and will call you hypocrite quicker than they can call your name. Because they knew you when. I kid you not, I have heard people mention someone’s transgressions that are decades old just to try and keep them in their place. I must confess I had to learn not to be hurt by that when someone I love, who professes to love me would fling out some remark about how ‘you used to not go to church, ‘ or you used to be real partial to ‘gin and juice.’ All of which is true. But, I also used to be a newborn baby and not have any gray hair….and as sure as that changed, so can a person.

Actually I understand, because the truth is this, if we are stuck, we struggle with someone who we deemed to be just like us to change. Sometimes, I see people staring at me when they don’t think I am looking, as though they are trying to figure out what the hell happened. And I have literally had people ask, ‘what motivated you to school or that career or to stay married or to write books or to mentor or to…’

Because they literally cannot understand how it happened if it didn’t happen to them. I tell them that faith and work and staying focused did it. Grinning, I say, ‘That even when I didn’t go to church, I believed and prayed. And even when I loved my gin and juice a few times a week, it didn’t stop me from going to school, work etc and doing what was expected of me.’ That usually garners a few shocked giggles, because they weren’t expecting me to be that honest. And then I usually get the standard line, ‘You were always so smart with your head in them books anyway.” True that.

This past weekend I was at the funeral of my aunt, who was almost 100 years old and I saw many people I hadn’t had my eyes on in, probably 35 years. I could literally feel my face burning from the stares. A couple even asked me, “Girl, where in the world have you been living. And how did you get away from here and stay.” I basically smiled telling them that I am in town quite a bit, just don't venture out far from the family. Some asked what I had been up to. I gave them a simple response. “Praising, loving working, trying.”

And that is what I tell the young people I talk to. That one of the hardest things to do is change, be different than those you love and who love you. Because as quiet as it is kept, everyone who professes to love you is not always deliriously happy when you do something different than what they are doing. Whether it is leave home and never move back, or write books or stay married or learn to love Jesus. So try not to take it that personal while on your journey of growth because at the core of it, it is not about how they feel about what you have done, it is how they feel about what they have or have not done. Just sprinkle love and prayer over them like holy water and keep moving….forth.