I have always been under the impression that when someone asks for a favor,
That the askee…has refusal rights,
Because a favor to me is, ‘please can you do such and such and if you cannot, I understand…’
But it seems that I am totally misguided,
It seems nowadays when someone asks for a favor,
The only acceptable answer is yes,
Such as,
Can I use you?
Umm, sure absolutely….
All jokes aside,
I have found myself in the situation a lot lately,
Where someone asks for a favor and they are already making plans,
Based on my saying YES…
One case that sticks out in my mind is;
Last week a co-worker left an envelope on my desk,
In said envelope was a letter asking me,
If I would fill out the attached,
It also said, ‘If you choose not to, please do not discuss with anyone and dispose of…’
After reading it,
I knew that in good conscience,
I could not fill out the form,
First because of my role in the organization,
A bit of a conflict,
And because if I had done it honestly it would have not been totally favorable,
So I shredded it and went on with my day,
A few days later,
I was asked about it,
I explained my position and was told,
‘I can’t believe you, of all people wouldn’t do that for me…’
I knew what he meant,
He was using my race and gender,
Being a black female in a predominately white male agency,
But I was going to make him say it,
‘Me of all people…?’
His face colored and he said,
‘You know, you are such a civil libertarian….and my friend’
I hooted with laughter…good save,
‘Well, be that as it may, I didn’t feel it was appropriate, and I followed your instructions, and for the record, ‘my friend’, remember that a favor is a voluntary activity and that friends don’t compromise friends in such a manner…’
He nodded and looked away,
I walked away…
Haven’t had a conversation since,
But of course we will,
Or heck maybe we won’t…
I just wish folks would understand,
That using the ‘friendship card’…
Is just not good business…
And that a favor is just that,
A favor…
BE PEACE!
Angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com
