Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on amazon.com. You can access her bibliography on www.amazon.com search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan




Contact information:
Website: http://acvermen.blogspot.com
Email: acvermen@yahoo.com
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Sunday, September 30, 2007

Circuitous Routes...

I am a circuitous routes, kinda woman,
What that means is that I rarely take the path that people think I should,
My reasons are not to be obstinate or to show folks I can do my own thing,
It is simply how I am wired,
What makes up the package,
I always remember when I got married,
People were up in arms, I had just graduated,
Hadnt found a career path yet,
But I got married,
Boy did I hear it from the masses,
'She will never do anything with that education'
'She will just be a wife'
'She will have a bunch of kids, then get divorced and be a single mom'
Honey did they have it to say...
My favorite one was, 'you havent even lived.'
My heart was pumping blood and beating on task,
So believe me I was alive,
I know what they meant,
I needed to 'do it' with a lot of different people, that is what went for living....get in lots of quantity, worry later about quality....giggling...
So I got married, had a couple of kids in six years, quietly got more education, worked in a variety of careers, and am gliding, sliding and smiling as I move up on thirty years married...
A few years ago a friend said to me,
"You showed us didnt you, we did all those 'living' things and now here you are in the same place we are careerwise and you got all that other good stuff, too.' umm hmm
The same has happened with my writing,
I wrote four books of grown women's fiction,
Now I am going to write for the young women,
Not many are saying, but I know they are wondering,
'Why in the world, now that this thing is taking off, is she going to go out on a limb,
and do something else?'
The funny, slick answer would be, 'Because I can.'
The truth though is that the writing I have done to this point has been,
Another one of those circutous routes,
That only made sense to me and those in the know,
I had to go on that journey,
Take that path,
Learn those lessons to get to where I am most needed,
And the littles sisters are needing me right now, big time...
And when love calls, I better answer...
In a couple of years, who knows....
Because I am a 'Circuitous Routes' kinda woman....

angelia

Saturday, September 29, 2007

Why I Blog...

The question has been asked, 'Why I Blog"
And what made me choose this arena to blog in...
I came to blogging quite reluctantly...
I was in a few literary groups and found myself enjoying that,
But I only joined in discussions if a topic touched me,
And when I did if it got dramatic or negative, I was quiet from that point on...
I don't do drama...life is too short, especially to work up over opinions....
After being encouraged to blog,
Many seemed to feel I had something to say...Bless you all...
I tried a few places...
But those forums, where it was all about 'friendships' (giggling)
And who could outblog whom...became passe' for me quickly....
Then one day I was talking to a friend at work...
And talking to a friend online,
I had written a piece about jealousy and they both thought I should share it with the masses,
So I reasearched blogs,
And discovered the eblogger worked for me,
It was user friendly,
You could set it up so people could comment if they chose or not if they chose,
Immediately I started gettting responses,
Not so much on the site but in the form of emails to me...
I loved that...
And a side benefit was that those who enjoyed what I blogged about,
Actually started purchasing my work,
And recommending it to others,
Though I rarely aggressively market my work on my blog,
Some even suggested I create a blog book,
Thanks Gwyneth for suggesting something that was marinating in my mind,
and it seemed to unleash others to ask, suggest, support the same thing,
So at the end of the day,
I blog as a form of self-expression,
In an environment that allows participation,
But respects those who choose not to...
Because a part of my ministry,
Is to put out there in written form those things,
That can hopefully be of some benefit to someone,
While being a form of therapy for me...
While doing one of the things I Love Most...
WRITING...

Love and Blessings,
angelia

Friday, September 28, 2007

They Thought They Knew...

So many have been caught sleeping...
Then when they know they want to be peeping...
Even try creeping...

That is the the story of my life,
Those who thought they knew,
Because I was born into their family,
Or married in,
Or because I work in the office down the hall,
Or maybe these days because we have had a few chats online or something...
It has always amused me, pleased me....

Walking into my office several years ago they had me pegged...
I was another sister they thought...
With some credentials but, 'If You Seen One You Have Seen Them All."
Once they knew they were falling all over themselves to see what was up...
I let them know it was nothing but the work...
The salary doubled in five years, PLUS...
Cause while they still didnt know, they knew...

The same is true for writing....
I dont do much arm waving,
Gesticulating,
Or Frothing at the mouth...
When I introduced myself to the game...
I knew where I was going...
In my own sweet time...
Many thought when they read the first one...
They Knew...
'She just somebody, another anybody, throwing words on the page calling it a book..."
Hold up wait a minute, 'She wrote another one.'
What is this, how in the hail did it happen,
I know she didnt just go and do this...
No my friend you dont know,
You thought you knew,
That aint the same...
I am a methodical,
Thinker,
Planner,
Executer....
I KNEW from the gate that what I could get would never be better than,
What I already had,
Awesome spiritual life,
Handsome Loving Man,
Cool Relationships with my children,
My people,
I KNEW that all else would be gravy,
I also knew that those early books had to be done,
To take me where I needed to go, in the Master plan,
So if you really want to know, ask a sister,
Assume nothing,
Because if you don't,
Then you won't,
Know,
You will go away thinking you knew...
I will just be going on about the business of,
Handling my business....

HOLLA....
angelia

Thursday, September 27, 2007

What do you see?

It is hard for someone to see you when they don’t see you…
Confused?
Don’t be…
We live in a country that has a pretty one dimensional view…
Of what is attractive or what comprises success…
And if one doesn’t fall into those categories…
And isn’t inordinately confident…
Everyday must be a tough row to hoe…
Growing up I was constantly reinforced about my…
Smartness…
My personal beauty…
And my worth…
I can remember growing to my full height of five-feet ten inches,
And having the women in my family reinforce…daily…
How I was to stand tall and hold my head and shoulders up…
At the same time while this was being reinforced I was also taught…
Humility…
Constantly told that while there was no one better than I…
I was better than no one…
And I am so grateful.
Because I watch sisters pained by either or…
Those who think they got it going on so much…
That no one is good enough for them…
And they are so lonely it vibrates from them…
Though they say they don’t care…
Or those who feel that everyone has it going on better than them…
And no one comes near because they are afraid to…
And they are so hurt it vibrates from them…
I always have a case study you know…
I remember a few months ago I was talking to a co-worker…
She said, “Angi, I was going to say to you the other day how good you look, how thin, but I was afraid to.”
Why?
“Well your whole personality is about how much you love yourself, no matter what size you are?” She didn’t even know what she was saying.
“I am comfortable with me at any size. But why wouldn’t saying, ‘You look good’, be comment enough. Why does it have to be qualified with thinness.” I had her…
“I don’t know, I guess because when people tell me I look thin I am pleased.” Bingo.
“That is my point. Just because a certain look or size is how you define beauty has nothing to do with how I define it. Healthy is my beauty standpoint, all else is gravy. So if you ever want to tell someone how good they look, leave out the descriptors. I promise you they will be pleased with, 'you look good'.”
“Okay.”
The same is true of success…
In my office ninety five percent have at least a bachelor’s degree…
Most have graduate degrees…
And they hold disdain for anyone who doesn’t…
One day a young Caucasian lady was cleaning the office…
Singing, happily off key,
The comment was made,
“What does she have to be happy about as a janitor?”
I had to tell her…
“Well it depends on her views of success…maybe she is spiritual, maybe she has a man who adores her….maybe she is simply a happy woman who wants to do a simple job and go home without any stress.”
“What is successful about that?” I didn’t even try to tell her, what I did say was this.
“If she didn’t do that and the folks at the deli didn’t make our sandwiches, or the construction workers didn’t build our houses. Then what? We need all of that and we need to respect people’s right to choose. Please see people as people when you look at them.”

Angelia

Wednesday, September 26, 2007

What Makes Her Special?

What Makes Her Special?

I wonder if people know that asking that question is a self-defeating form of comparative analysis…
How you ask…
Well you know I am going to tell you…
I get asked that question about the main character in my books,
Cinnamon Brown has them asking…
‘What she got, that I don’t have?’
This woman seems to have it all and has people changing the rules to accommodate her…
One of the things she has in spades…
Is she never compares herself to or competes with anyone other than herself…
She knows her strengths and expounds upon them…
She knows her weaknesses and makes no excuses for them and doesn’t allow…
Them to stop her in her tracks…she keeps it moving, handling her business…
Many who know me always wink when talking about her…
Because this is the component that makes Cinnamon most like me…
Comparing yourself to someone is drudgery…
Because the likelihood of you becoming that person…
Is slim…
And if you do then you are a fraud…
I used to find it so exhausting when people would ask me…
“What makes you special or different?’
Felt like I had to apologize for being blessed…
Nowadays I smile and say, only if inclined, ‘Child we are all special…just get your focus off me and other people and surely you will find it.’
There is a scene that stands out in my mind from my fifteenth year,
I was standing at the bus stop…
It was near prom time and this girl and I were talking...about the prom…
She told me she might not go…
I asked why…
She told me because she didn’t want to be with the guy who had asked her…
She must have seen the puzzled look on my face…
Because she told me…
“Girl you don’t have to be with someone on prom night, but the rest of us do…”
Huh? I still didn’t get it…I asked her if being with meant with sex…
Nodding, she said, ‘Yes’
When I didn’t say anything else, she looked at me with tears on her lids, saying,
“We aren’t all special, like you…”
I swallowed down a lump, I could feel her pain, but at fifteen I knew enough to know that special would never grow from those particular seeds…I looked at her, she was a pretty, smart girl, and wondered how she had gotten to that place…
Because what I knew for sure is that if she had started out knowing in her heart that she was special, she wouldn’t feel the need to be with anyone to prove it….and a prom would be a place where she could dress up really nicely…
Dance with lots of people,
Laugh with her girlfriends,
Take lots of photos,
Eat at a nice restaurant,
Then go home and sleep with memories of how much fun she'd had…
Now ain’t that special….

Lovingly,
angelia

Tuesday, September 25, 2007

How You Want It?

How you want it?
You know what I am asking you…how you want it?
Think steak… you are sitting in the restaurant and just ordered filet…
The waiter looks straight in your eye, asking…
How you want it?
Breathlessly and with anticipation you murmur…
Medium…
Winking he walks away because he knows that to mean…
Cooked perfectly outside but slightly pink and juicy inside…
Now that I got you…
How do you want your books?
Some say, give it to me Literary…I want to go deep, take something from this…
Others say, please just give me some Contemporary…I want real…
Contemporary, not for me, I want straight up boy meets girl, boy gets girl, happily ever after Romance…
Romance, no way, I want it a tad bit Erotic, give me something I can feel…
A few yell bring it hard, if it ain’t street, it ain’t got the meat…
No, no, no, no street, just give me some spirit…
I need to go to a higher place…
Bottom line we all want what we want…
How we want it…
And that is a good thing…
But check this out…
My intent is to take you deep….Literally…
But give it a Contemporary twist…just to keep it fresh…
And it ain’t a story if some Romance isn’t flowing through there…
And just when you think you know, there will be a little Erotic flow…
And since we all emerged from somebody’s Street…
And landed on our feet…
That ain’t nothing but Spiritual…
So I am not going to ask you how you want it…
Cause a sister…
Plans to give you some of everything….
And that is the “Fictionalized Truth”

angelia

Monday, September 24, 2007

What Is Your Passion?

What is your passion, what drives you?
Makes you laugh with glee when it goes well,
And that you would do for free, without any accolades or recognition at all,
But will absolutely knock you off your feet when it doesn’t go well…
Will make you as mad as it made you glad…
If you don’t feel this way about anything, then you probably don’t have a passion,
And even when it feels like a passion, if is done for glory then it is probably not a passion either, it is something you are passionate about, and there is a difference…
I am passionate about reading, love to read…
But I don’t get twisted about books the way many do…
I purchase what I love and enjoy and when I support a new author and their work doesn’t move me, I simply don’t purchase anything else,
And I usually won’t tell people not to purchase it,
To each her own…one woman’s elixir is another woman’s poison…
I am passionate about writing…
Have loved expressing myself by writing since I was a young girl who lived inside her head more than anywhere else, and loved it there…
But I know that I will always write, if I never sell another book, I will write and my life will continue to be good…
My Passion however is something else altogether,
The emancipation of young people is my Passion, particularly Black youth…
It is extraordinarily important to me that our youngsters receive the proper tools in order to compete, and while education tops that list, I am a realist and know that in American 28% of all Americans graduate from college, and amongst Black folks it’s considerably less…so what we are left with is teaching kids how to earn a living, be it college, trade school, apprenticeship programs, whatever…
Not only that we are going to have to stop accepting, teenage pregnancies as okay, and unsafe sexual practices as okay…we are going to have to hold these young people accountable and if we don’t want to we are going to have to get out of the way of those who do…because I kid you not, a young girl with a couple of babies by age eighteen will not be able to compete in the way that she should, a young man with a couple of child support orders by age twenty will never get ahead…too busy trying to get by…and a young person with an incurable illness….well folks mother doesn’t even have to address that one…
We all seem to have taken a huge shot of anesthesia,
We are no longer shocked when we see young pregnant girls.
Or when we know young men who are eighteen with a couple of girls who have babies for him…we seem to take in all in stride and keep it moving and only a hearty few will even become engaged in the dialogue. I guess it is for the many reasons mentioned above, it isn’t sexy and there is no glory in doing that kind of work…
Amazingly we are down for a cause but it seems that the best causes are those removed from us. People supporting Jena 6 is a beautiful thing, but many of those folks who traveled far and wide, probably have many in their communities, on their doorsteps who would benefit greatly from that kind of PASSION and commitment…
And many times we can help in small ways…sometimes I chuckle at what people take from my books, most people touch on the love triangle, but I have yet to have most people address the underlying story lines about mentoring, community service, those who have much giving back…the way these people while going through their own personal struggles are never too tired or too wrapped up in what they are doing to care about the children…what is up with that?
This is all food for thought….just the Ramblings of a Do or Die Mentor…
I have earned my Mama Deep moniker, lately...grinning...

Love and Blessings…
angelia

Friday, September 21, 2007

Don't Take It Personal...

When someone critiques or reviews your work
Don’t take it personal,
Even if it is one of those rare instances,
When it is personal,
You just can’t roil around in misery over it,
Otherwise you are in the wrong game…
Understand that there are differences…
When someone says there are editing issues,
They are probably trying to help you,
In the case when the attack is on your style, then that is just a preference,
I remember when I wrote my first book,
I simply wrote it, no one saw it but me…
People read it and loved it…
My first review was a three…
And a very fair three…
There were grammatical errors galore,
I learned from that…
Cause it was a blessing…
I thought,
Now when someone read it and said,
They had problems with my style,
Because it was too literary or narrative,
I knew that was simply a personal opinion,
Yesterday I could feel someone’s pain when the wrote
About a book club member telling her, her book wasn’t edited properly…
That was viewed as a personal attack and maybe it was…
But check this out,
When you open yourself up to folks in any arena,
You had better go in with your thick skin on,
Because people who shell out money,
Feel they have a right to tell you how they feel about your work,
And frankly if you go into their arena,
You are giving them that right,
So as hard as it might be,
Take every review,
Critique,
Opinion,
With a grain of salt,
Learn from what is constructive and honest,
And like so much salt,
Throw the rest,
Over your shoulder,

Love and Blessings,
angelia

Thursday, September 20, 2007

She Did All That?...How?

Yesterday I was reading comments on a panel and one of the questions was…
“How do you find time to do all that?”
I smiled because that is the most resounding question I am asked these days…
I have a pretty demanding job, being responsible for the government’s mils can be daunting…
I have written five books since January 2006, four of which are published and selling…
I try to talk to the children as often as I can…
Spend a little time checking on the elders...
And I review at least six books a month…
All while trying to maintain my cute…
Most importantly my thing is to be there for and with my man…
I remember a few months ago, I was at a book signing/discussion for …
“Cinnamon’s Universe”…
And my man was with me…
One of the sisters asked how with all I do did I have time for him…
I guess she saw how cute he was and was going to offer to help me out…
Laughing…
Before I could say a word, he said,
“She got that.” My heart was full…
The truth is it does seem daunting,
But we have to prioritize and remember that all things have their own time and place…
And that some things can be let go…
Can’t clean up, hire someone…
Don’t have time to cook all the time…
Every deli in the world has roasted chickens…
Throw in fresh bread and salad and a gourmet meal is born…
And as I have told you before, more than once…
Get some rest and relaxation…
Take some time to do you…
Most importantly make sure the obligations you are taking on are fulfilling ones and are not about accolades or what anyone will think about how you got it going on…
That “S#*t will wear a sister down…
Finally I am going to have to say it is a lot about attitude…
In my office they call me “Zen Queen”…
There are very few things that are worth being worked up and stressed out over…
Tomorrow is truly another day…
SMOOCHES….

Angelia

Wednesday, September 19, 2007

Everything Doesn't Have to be Said

My man has this saying that used to send me over the edge, nowadays we say it and roll with laughter, it is,
“Everything doesn’t have to be said.”
I used to take that personal because usually he mouthed those words when I wanted to say something….
But I have discovered with some reluctance that he sure was on to something…
Everything really doesn’t have to said,
And it certainly doesn’t have to be said in the way so many people say it…
Words are mighty powerful and dependent upon who is doing the saying…
They can be uplifting or demoralizing…
When I was growing up there were so many words we couldn’t say…
I often wondered why…
I guess I thought at that time my mom, grandmother, aunts and godmother were trying to stifle me…
We couldn’t use words such as stupid, or say we hated anyone…
Just wasn’t allowed…
Thanks ancestors….
Many times when I am reading blogs or opinions I am often shocked at how just downright mean some things come across…
I understand that usually the writer isn’t trying to come across as mean…
Somewhere along the line many have confused knowledgeable with in your face opinionated, all the time…in much the way people have confused strong with tough…
But that is another blog for another day…
Very often a simple change of word will change the tone and make the message more poignant…
I have a friend who just can’t understand why she can say something…
And people will leave in droves….never to return again, often taking a side street if they see her coming….
I can say something pretty similar and receive the opposite response…
I have been telling her for decades…it is a simple turn of phrase…
No one wants to be around anyone all the time…
Who lambasts them…
Or talks to them from a place of often misplaced superiority…
And trust me on this, I am not spouting…
“You can get more flies with honey…”
Cause who the heck wants flies?
What I am saying is that there is usually a more humane way to make a point without leaving someone bleeding in the aisles…calm, firm and fair is a blessing….
And if you are unable to do so…
I reluctantly admit…
That there are times when everything doesn’t have to be said….thanks honey...

angelia

Tuesday, September 18, 2007

Observing and Pondering...

Yesterday I had an opportunity to observe and ponder. Those are two of my favorite pastimes. That is where most of the material for my books, stories, blogs come from. People fascinate me. And I have met so many of them. Having lived around the world and on an island I discovered that people are so much alike and so different at the same time. Yesterday at lunch I was sitting at a luncheon with seventeen of my co-workers. At the table with me were the Chief, myself, a biologist and the only other African American in my office of thirty, the receptionist. Now how diverse is that. It was so comical and in many ways so sad. The receptionist was so uncomfortable and quiet. The Chief was so uncomfortable and talking ninety miles a minute. And what I observed was they were both out of their comfort zones, way out. He was simpatico with me and the other biologist, but there was absolutely no ability to relate to the receptionist. Other than the fact that she answered the phones she was like no one in his world. The same was true for her. She was quite comfortable conversing with me, we had a commonality, AA, female, mother, etc. although so many components of our lives were different. After the food arrived things got better but not by much. A story was winging its way through my head at that time. Whether I write it or not beyond this blog is anyone’s guess.
After lunch she and I spoke about it and she owned up to many of my observations. As I meandered off to my office I had an epiphany. It went off like a bulb in my head. And this is it. The reason why real integration doesn’t work in so many cases is because there is no evenness, no relatibility. When one person is quiet from a feeling of inferiority and the other is rattling from a place of superiority, then the chance of any real connection occurring is nil. It also cleared up in a small way why so many non-AA folks usually don’t read our books. They probably feel there is nothing for them to relate to. I guess the question then becomes why do we read mainstream? That is as clear as a church bell on Sunday morning. We were raised to learn about the majority, there are few instances in which the majority is mandated to learn about the minority. That is absolutely what occurred when I started writing, most of the people in my office were prolific readers but until they read my work, they had never read an AA author other than maybe someone they had been mandated to read in a college literature course. Many were quite honest and forthcoming, saying I love black characters in books, making mention of our shared love for Alex Cross in James Patterson’s books. But I had to tell her how irrelevant that all is. Much the same way I have had to tell folks when they say I can relate to what black folks went through because I was poor, gay, etc. I have to say (and feel free to quote me on this)….
“There is no comparison, poor and gay can be dressed up and disguised but if a person's aversion is to black there is no way to dress up or disguise that.”
Of course I have come up with no solutions, just observations related to my ponderings.

Blessings…
angelia

Monday, September 17, 2007

How We Identify...

How do we identify?
I was having a conversation with on Thursday with my supervisor,
We are at the end of a verrrrrrrrrrrrry crazy fiscal year and she made a comment that stuck with me all weekend…
She said, ‘I am identified by my job and my outside life. What gets so many people in trouble is that they only identify with this job.” As I drove home I thought about that and realized that in no way did I identify myself with my job, or any other superficial thing,
The only way anyone will find out from me what I do is if they ask,
That is true of most things about me, where I went to school.
What my husband does, etc.
In the course of a general conversation,
It just doesn’t work it’s way in…
Never has…
Even when I was younger and more ambitious…
I have been a bit more forthcoming since starting to write…
But not by much…
Talking to friends and families,
I asked then how did they identify and many said the same thing as my supervisor…
I discovered that the older they were the less likely they were to identify with what can be seen…
So I asked, “What do you guys think I identify with.”
Without skipping a beat a several said, “Your heart.”
Immediately I knew that was true,
I love my life and am pleased with my accomplishments…
But at the end of the day, I know that when God takes me out of here…
The folks who I loved and who loved me will not attach one title to me…
Or say anything about my accomplishments…
My prayer is that they will say what was said that day…
“She was known by her heart…”
I can live with that.

angelia

Wednesday, September 12, 2007

We and They Are What We Expect...

You know that old saying, “You are what you eat…”
We know that is true…though weird to think about…
I believe however that we are what we expect and what is expected of us…
There was never a time in my life when I didn’t expect to do well…
Or to live well…
And equally as important there has never been a time…
When my loved ones didn’t expect me to do well either…
The same is true for my children…
My expectation was always that they would do well…
Even when wavering and wanting to play when work was needed…
The expectations and the reinforcements were the same…
So many people ask me today…
“Why aren’t you a grandmother?” or "Why aren't your boys in trouble?"
Unfortunately it seems that in our world today when a Black woman…
Passes forty and she has kids over eighteen, she is supposed to be a granny…
I have a simple answer for them…
“My kids aren’t married, they are still trying to get places and there is plenty of time for that.”
Then the question becomes…
“How did you stop them, in today’s world?”
I tell them it was expectations…
I expected them to attend school…
I expected them to do reasonably well…
I expected them to listen to the advice their dad and I provided…
And the examples we set…
I expected them to be respectful…
I didn’t expect them to become statistics…
Teenaged fathers…
Incarcerated….
Or riddled with bad choices that are seemingly impossible to overcome…
I expected them to do well…
And to live will…
And they had expectations of their own…

angelia

Tuesday, September 11, 2007

Round Pegs in Sqaure Holes...

Fitting round pegs in square holes sounds painful doesn’t it…
It can be…
I have been accursed with round pegs in square holes syndrome…
Have had it since….
Well forever…
Some say it’s a blessing…
Usually it is a square hole…saying that...
And mostly I think it is…
But some days it is a tiresome brain drain…
Let me define what I am saying…
Most people relate to likeminded, like-interested people…I know I am chewing up words, but stay with me...
Thinkers like other thinkers…
Talkers like other talkers…
Most friends are of the same race…
See where I am headed…
Well I have always had a tendency to embrace…
The different…{anyone who has read my books are going umm hmm}
I like the sameness also…but the differences will grab me every time…
When I am in the car with my man, we listen to jazz…
With my sons it is usually hip-hop…
My aunt likes the blues...the bluer the better...
However when you get in my car…
You are going to get, Old-School R&B, hip-hop, jazz, gospel-contemporary and traditional….
You might even hear me singing some country, love Garth…then segue over to some
John Lee Hooker or Three Dog Night...
It is just how I roll…
But what gets me sometimes is when…
Try as I might to be encompassing…
Some of those square holes will take me there…
And I find myself asking myself…why can’t I just be a damn…
Jazz lover…
Old School head…
Or aging Hip-hopper…
Middle-aged surburbanite…
Why in the HAIL am I trying so doggone hard…
Then Billy Preston starts singing in my ear…
“That’s the way God planned it, ‘cause that’s the way he wants it to be…”
Okay…..

angelia

Monday, September 10, 2007

BUSINESS....NOT PERSONAL...

It ain’t personal, it’s just business…
Anyone who gets that simple statement is probably capable of getting their work done…
And having relationships with folks at work that is exclusive of work…
The same is true in the book business…
Because if it is taken personally, there is a lot of time wasted and not much getting done…
And hurt feelings running amuck...
On my day job I am the final word when it comes to budgets and anything related to the budget…
My supervisor signs many things…
But I am the one that certifies the funds
And insures that money is committed, obligated and used as the government intended…
SIGH…
Every year this time, there is always someone who try as they might to get around me…
In some ‘clever’ unique way…
SIGH…
What really amazes me is how they take it personally year after year…
Knowing…
Full well that nothing changes but the date on the calendar…
So I have to say to them in clipped tones…
“This is business, not just business, but the government’s business and there is no clever way to do this…” As they stomp off down the hall, I sometimes will say, “It ain’t personal, it just is…”
SIGH…
That is exactly how I feel about the book business…
Listen writer friends everyone is not going to feel your work…
If you look at most Amazon reviews, they run the gamut based upon mostly how the reader felt about the work…
Or how they felt it was written…
Or if they were feeling it, or not…
Maybe I am na├»ve, but in most cases, I am sure it is not personal…
Especially when you have sent it unsolicited to be reviewed…
So just keep in mind that there is a lesson in everything…
Take from it what can make you grow and chuck the rest of it…
Life really does go on…
And usually it gets better…
Also take every promise with a grain of salt…
Some people really mean it when they say they are going to do something…
Others are just blowing smoke…
So assume it is all smoke…
Until you see fire…
For my co-workers…
I say there is always next year…
LAUGHING…

angelia

Friday, September 7, 2007

WORD IS BOND...

WORD IS BOND…
I remember growing up in the sixties and one of the favorite sayings I can recall is,
“My Word is Bond.”
I took that to mean as a young teenager that if the word was said, it was done, and secured…I loved what that meant and to this day I still try to do what I say I will do, if I can’t or have no intentions of doing it I keep my mouth shut…
This brings a couple things to mind,
I have a friend who is performing tonight and I feel so badly that I can’t make it,
Because when I promised her last year, I had every intention of being there…
But life happens and as soon as I knew, I told her…she is my friend, so we are cool…
The other situations are my youngsters…
Don’t ever lie to a kid or break a promise without a real good reason…
Because to them, “Word is Bond, Yo.”
And they mean it down to the very fibers of their being…
Once a young person distrusts you…it is an uphill battle to regain their trust…
I remember when raising my kids…
I made sure that if I told them I was going to do something…
I was going to do it…
Because no matter how tired I was or whatever else I had going on…
They ruled supreme…
When they asked me to do something and I couldn’t or simply didn’t want to…
I told them straight out the gate, it wasn’t going to happen,
And to not ask again…
Because my word was bond, even when saying no…
And for that they respected me…
Because they knew if I said it was going to happen…
It was going to happen…
If I said it wasn’t going to happen…
Then please believe it wasn’t going to happen…
That is why today I make sure when I say I can…
Or I will do something…
That I truly can…
And I truly will…
Or I keep my mouth closed…
Because to me, my word is still bond…
YO!!!
Emma break a leg, I will be with you in heart and spirit…
angelia

Thursday, September 6, 2007

KNOW YOUR POWER

There are some words that send shockwaves through people and when a woman says she is powerful, many run away…
Why?
When I tell my young ladies to know their own power, I am in no way saying…
You don’t need a man, or you can’t have a man…
Because those among us who love what man brings to the table know…
What we want, need and can have…
What I am saying is know your own power
By caring for and loving yourself….
Saying no and meaning no when no is the only answer that works…
I also promote educating oneself as power…
Power to make choices and to provide for your own needs…
Having someone take care of you is a beautiful thing…
Being able to care for yourself is a necessity…
I was raised by a legion of women…
Who were mighty powerful…
They all worked…
They raised responsible, smart, children…
And honey they had men, I mean men’s men in their lives…
Who loved and revered them…
Because they knew that these women weren’t trying to prove anything
To anyone, they were just about their business…
And the business of their loved ones…
But they had to honor them, because they
Knew that these women didn’t run around rolling their necks saying,
“I can do bad all by myself.”
These women were saying,
“I love you, want you, need you and sure would love for you to stay, but if you go,
I can do GOOD all by myself.”
Now that my sisters is knowing your power.

angelia

Tuesday, September 4, 2007

Keeping The Faith...

Faith is the hardest thing for all of us…
Be that faith in a higher power, faith in self…
It is tough…
Most people give lip service to their faith,
But their hearts and minds tell a different story…
I was once like that…
I have always been a spiritual girl,
But I am also a make it happen girl…
And while professing my faith in something or someone,
I was making it happen behind the scenes…
But what I have discovered is that sometimes faith really does have to be blind…
When I started writing, every step of the way I prayed…
And prayers were constantly being answered…
Certainly not always in the way I asked…
But continually answered…
It has been amazing how every step of the way…
Things would happen for me…often without anything being done on my part…
Other than having myself available for it…
Now I am not trying to game you by saying…
My faith has never wavered…
Pleeeeeeeeease…
But what I am saying is that every single step of the way…
I have known that what God meant for me to have…
I will have…
That has been true in every area of my life…
And will be true in this area…
That is why I am so patient with the whole process…
Because I know what is meant for me…
No one can put asunder…
I just keep the faith…

Blessings…
angelia

Saturday, September 1, 2007

Is Is Still Good To Ya?

"Is it still good to ya, does it feeeeel alright?"
No I am not Ashford or Simpson, but that song of theirs has been playing in my head for weeks...
So I ask again, is it still good to ya?
Is what still good?
Anything...
Your life...
Your love...
Your writing...
Your reading...
Any of it...is it still good to you?
If not, then why are you doing it?
I remember after September 11, 2001, many people started realizing how short life is and decided to do that which filled their souls...what was good to them...
The definitive date for me was February 1, 2003, the day I buried my mom...
I finally knew my own mortality...I was now an elder...
And I could have seen that as a time to grow up...
But instead I saw it as a time to grow out...
To do the things that were soul-fulfilling...
Things like take small honeymoons...frequently with the man I had been married to for many, many years...who I loved as much as the day I married him...
Because it still felt good to me and I wanted it to last....
Laugh until my side ached, because there is a lot of fun out there...
Work on my spiritual self....because I had been living a mighty blessed life....
Considering...
And to write whatever I wanted to write...
However I wanted to write it, without making excuses...
or apologizing to anyone about anything that I wrote on the pages...
You know why....because if it isnt good to me...
Then why do it...
Having it be good to someone else is just icing on the cake...
And there are times when un-iced pound cake is my favorite thing in the world...
Yum, Yum, Yum...
Yesterday I sat down with one of my girls (Hey Shae) and we laughed...
talked...fussed and enjoyed ourselves for hours....
When I took her home, she and I were both grinning from...
ear to ear...
Because we had just done something....
That was still good to us....
I am going to run off now, need a pedi, mani and a massage... maybe a sip of grapes...
So good...

Love and Blessings...
angelia