This morning when I checked my email, I received a message saying, “I read your blog yesterday about all is forgivable and I just wonder how you could be so honest about things that have happened to you.”
My answer was simple, my life is my witness. And as a witness, sometimes I have to do a butt naked reveal.
By the time I was eighteen I had been through so many things that were negative it was amazing I was not locked away somewhere, but, by the same token I had so many positives in my life it was as if though my blessings were running me down and taking me over. My mom and I had an amazing bond until I was about 13 or 14 and then for about 4 years it wasn’t so good. I didn’t approve of her choices and made no bones about it, because they affected me. However at the same time there were so many things she taught me, independence, how to not take things so seriously, how to laugh in the pain. And once I was grown she and I became ‘friends’ to the extent that mother and daughter can be friends. There were so many things she shared with me that made me understand so much and love her even more. Also, she was so honest about her shortcomings with me and everyone else and I knew I would model that.
Now let me tell you I came to this with great reluctance. Because, my natural thing has always been to protect, protect, protect. And to reveal myself would ultimately lead to revealing others. So for years I simply carried it inside, assisting people by telling a story. With my own sons, I was more forthcoming, I told them things as it was age appropriate.
However about fifteen years ago, I ended up at Job Corps as a counselor totally through God’s design. I took a temporary one week job in the counseling office and ended up staying for over three years and a big part of my counseling was tough love, and my ‘keep it real, real” approach to it. I told the truth as I knew it. When some young lady gave me excuses about why she did this that or the other because of that this or the other, I would break with a situation from my life and went, “What then.” Of course, they didn’t want to believe me because how could the tall, together, trash talking, proper sounding, woman with the coach bags know a damn thing. And if she had been through all that why didn’t she look like it.
Well my dears it was because God had chosen me for whatever reason to do his work and promised me that if I did my part he would do his and let me tell you being honest and true to your calling will keep you together even within the storm. And babies the storms never stop, we just have to continue to praise and they rage.
Still, to this day I weigh what I will say and how I will say it and to whom I will say it because you just can’t walk around saying everything to everybody. You have to know your audience and there are some bits we must keep to ourselves. Cause honey there are some that will 'run tell that' and won't even bother with the truth. Hah!
The fact that I write books is also a wonderful help. I get to mentor through writing, reveal myself and others through fiction with the whole point being to reach someone with a message that could ultimately lead to some kind of change. I don’t know everything, cannot even say I know a lot but what I know, I am willing to share as much as I can if it will make even the smallest bit of difference to anyone.
LOVE~
Angelia
www.angeliamenchan.com
