I have a confession to make, when it comes to crying women, especially at work, I am like a man, I don’t know what to do…am puzzled and befuddled. I totally understand how a good cry cleanses the soul and makes us feel better, but what I also understand is that the male species often feels paralyzed by a woman’s tears in the most intimate of situations and surely don’t know what to do when it happens at work…
I deal with a few women who get weepy when things aren’t going as they would have them go, or if lo and behold I say something like, “Come on, we are here to work not socialize, or rights are not privileges…” I see the full eyes and trembling lips or downturned mouths and think, ‘Damn, what do I say or do’…mostly I just stare uncomfortably until they go away…knowing that later they will come back and I will have to say something…sheesh…
Now, don’t be fooled there are times when I have wanted to weep while I worked, but I chose to not do that, didn’t want anyone to feel as though they had to console me or make me feel better, that is not work’s responsibility. I can recall when my mama was terminally ill, when I felt the desire to weep, I went to my car, or the restroom or home…or when sitting at my desk and work is piling up like Mount Everest, and that has happened a lot lately, I listen to music while doing all I can with my door closed…because what I know for sure is that we can’t on the one hand ask to be treated as equals but on the other hand melt into a puddle of tears and expect to be treated special. Unfortunately it is either one or the other…sorry…
It’s really funny because there are those in my family who think I am the softest of the bunch, because within the confines of family if something is sad or I am realllllly mad, you will see my tears…but them’s my peeps…otherwise, I suck it up, or take it away from there, because while I want to be paid for what I do and promoted accordingly, I have no expectations of being treated any differently than the guys are being consoled at the job place…
You can blame the women in my family, they were women who lived, loved and worked hard. But there wasn’t a weeper amongst them. Maybe they cried with their men, or late at night, or during a nice song at church…but I know they didn’t weep while they worked and didn’t allow us to either…not saying either way is right or wrong, just RAMBLING…
Angelia
http://angeliamenchan.com
