To be still is very difficult when one considers oneself to be a go-getter,
And it has been one of the hardest lessons for me,
I spoke of my faith for so long and I am faith-filled,
But I still had a tendency to try to make things work,
And discovering that I can’t make things work, I have to allow them to, was a hard
One for me,
Mostly, this lesson came in the form of my writing,
When I started, all I heard was you, ‘you gotta hustle, hustle, hustle.’
And hustle I did,
But for whatever reason it didn’t feel right, even when it was working,
I was mostly tired and frustrated because I was spending more time on my hustle,
Than on my writing or on telling my stories…
But a sea change came over me at the end of last year,
I knew I had found what I wanted to do and how I wanted to do it,
But I was…umm, skurred…to relax and let it go,
I also knew that my situation was different, because I didn’t have anyone breathing,
Down my neck with deadlines or telling me how to rewrite this or how that would work,
I was beating myself to a pulp,
But once I decided to relax, write my stories,
Not worry so much about deadlines or bottomlines,
I have to smile here because I know my man is winking and thinking,
“I told her so…”
He would often get on me about not listening to my own voices and reminding,
Me this was just a side show, he had my food, clothing and shelter…
He reminded me to be still and allow myself, all the time I needed,
And it is true,
So many doors I knocked on, no one answered,
They are now knocking on mine,
The coolest thing was with every book I did,
I called this one venue, never got an answer, with Is NO Not Clear I didn’t even try,
But something told me, to try one more time,
So when SCHAE’S STORY was done, I sent an email,
And in less than an hour, I received several emails,
Asking me to do this thing or that thing,
Instead of focusing on why now,
I just gave thanks and got ready to do what I do,
With gratefulness, and with a bit of patience and some stillness,
Because every good thing happens in it’s own time…
Blessings!
Angelia
SCHAE’S STORY and Is NO Not Clear Enough For You? AVAILABLE @
WWW.ANGELIAVMENCHAN.COM
RAMBLINGS: Volume One – Available January 31, 2009
