I came of age in the early seventies, when people were burning their bras, free love meant have sex with anyone who caught your fancy and white women screamed about being feminists and liberated…there were a few sisters, but mostly white women…anyway…I mostly wore my bra, had enough sense to know that nothing was free and I definitely wasn’t going to indiscriminately give away my goodies and have a bunch of brothers talking up under my clothes…well, no…and as to being liberated and all, all the black women I knew were liberated…my grandfather died in 1935, right before social security was a law and my grandma still had seven kids at home ranging in age from 14 to 2 and she fed, clothed and sheltered them all by herself and they turned out pretty good…
And my mama and aunts were all hard working, and in some cases hard partying divas, who raised their kids, handled their business and took no prisoners…they didn’t have time to burn any bras or go on any marches…they had jobs to do, children to raise and lives to live…with no expectations from anyone from themselves…and they were all smart enough to know that they liked, loved enjoyed men, but when no man was there, they did what they had to do…LIBERATED…
By the mid-eighties, I was married with two boys and many in my life didn’t consider me to be liberated enough, I didn’t always have a full-time paying job at that time…though I always worked, part-time, attended college, raised me kids, held the fort down at home while my soldier husband was deployed hither and yon…I didn’t give a care what they were saying, they didn’t know me or my business…
Since then I have worked and worked hard, forged many careers and gotten a bit more education hither and yon…and I will tell anyone who asks, I love being married, I love my man, am all about family…and I have the option, surely I do of working less hard or not at all but you know what…in my opinion those who could should work…
And as to feminism, I consider myself to be at the front of that line, because I am all about the empowerment of young sisters, telling them to respect themselves and to not allow anyone to bulldoze them into to doing things they don’t want to do. Saying no to sexual activity is just as powerful as sleeping with any and everybody, moreso in fact…because it means you are owning yourself and your body…it is precious…
And to this day I will not apologize to those women who think that being feminist is loud or a way of looking, I speak quietly, I love being feminine, having my man rub my feet or open a door for me is a wonderful thing…
I guess I am trying to say that being liberated or any other such label has to be defined by the woman who is living within her own skin and knows what is best for her and those she loves…and that no one, not even other women get to tell her how to be…LIBERATED…
BE PEACE~
angelia
www.angeliamenchan.com
