Yesterday I was talking to a young friend of mine,
She is going to be twenty-nine this year,
Very lovely professional woman, who loves acting and singing,
Has a beautiful voice and an even more beautiful spirit,
But is plagued with insecurities,
Body size and other stuff,
I can usually tell when she needs to talk, she will show up at my door under some other guise,
Once she gives me whatever is in her hand, she will stand there,
Thankfully yesterday I needed to slow down a bit and had some time…
We talked about a number of things,
A play she is in, my books and then we got to the real stuff,
She asked me had I always been as confident as I am now,
I told her the truth, mostly, then, I asked why,
She told me the way I carry myself and how I seem so removed and outside of stuff,
I told her that I am removed,
Work for me is just that work,
My life is outside of here,
Then she asked me if I competed with others,
I had to ask, ‘Compete for What?’
Then she told me anything, she told me she compared herself to this one or that one,
It broke my heart because I knew that was one of the most self-defeating activities on the planet,
Making comparisons is WASTEFUL,
There is always going to be someone smarter,
More talented,
Prettier,
Richer,
More successful, whatever,
So the thing to do is focus on what you have, what you bring,
Enhancing that and being completely unconcerned with what others have or are doing,
She smiled, asking had I ever been competitive with others,
I said, “For sure, when playing basketball, spades, running track, playing scrabble…my intention at those times is to annihilate my opponents.” We had a good chuckle.
“But beyond that no, I was raised with a good dose of reality and common sense, and my focus was always to be the best, Angelia I could be and the world had better know that if that is enough for God and me, it’s enough for them. And Sweetie, you are absolutely lovely.”
She thanked me walking away,
I knew that what I had said was just a bandage, because the world had told that woman-child,
That her curves were too much,
Her hair should have been blonde and not brown,
And she should have been taller,
But I was glad that she felt she could talk to me about those things,
Because there was a time when the advice of a Black woman probably wouldn’t have been her first choice…
Blessings,
Angelia
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/
http://www.mammproductions.com/
