Chapter Two
“So what are you planning to do Cinnamon, move him in my house?” Brown sat down, staring up at his wife. It was hard to look at all the pain in her eyes, pain he had caused.
“William, why are you here?”
“You’re my wife, this is my home.”
“I have asked you to leave.”
“For how long?”
“Forever…” Pain and fear raced in his heart.
“How’s that possible? We have been through so much together. I made another mistake…”
“No William, you made a decision. I told you when you decided to give up the Atlanta office that I wouldn’t go through this again. I meant that. I just have to figure out a way to tell the children. I can’t do this any more.”
“Is it because you have a backup plan? Your Black Knight is waiting in the wings. So are the two of you going to marry downtown in the square and make a fool of me?” Startled laughter flew from Cinnamon’s throat.
“Is that what this is about, your pride? Is that why we’re still married, to keep me from marrying Malcolm?”
“I love you, I’ve always loved you, but you’ve always been a lot of work. I allowed you your little indiscretion. You made love to him right up under my nose and I looked the other way. I didn’t want to lose you, but I won’t allow you to leave me and make a fool of me and all we have worked to have.”
“Negro, you don’t have a choice. I don’t think you know who you’re dealing with. And for the record Malcolm and I didn’t have an indiscretion. We had a love affair, he loves me and I love him!” White hot pain ran through Brown at Cinnamon’s words. He was shocked.
“So how do you expect me to only be with you, when you’re with him?”
“William, you were sleeping all over for almost thirty years before Malcolm ever touched me. And in almost two years, Malcolm and I haven’t shared so much as a kiss. He hasn’t had his hands on me or any other woman. He loves ME that much! Your idea of love seems to be ownership of me, while screwing someone else. How do you think I felt when that man showed up at my door with pictures of you, butt naked inside his wife?” He cringed at her words.
“I’m sure if I had wanted to, I would have been able to have photos of you with Malcolm Black!”
“As usual you’re avoiding the real issue! I wish you had, then we could have resolved this mess years ago.”
“What mess is that, is that what you consider our marriage, a mess?”
“B, it is a mess…” His heart surged at her calling him ‘B,’ that was an affectionate name she had called him since they were children.
“William, we have created a mess. For over two decades we traveled the world, in every port you had your little, ‘things,’ as a woman, a wife and the mother of your children, I chose to look the other way. What we had seemed to transcend that. However, once we moved back to Florida, I truly thought that was all over. I was so busy getting Muhammad through school, taking care of my dying mother and working, I couldn’t see what was going on. And Malcolm was there for me at every juncture. I didn’t know his feelings for me or acknowledge mine for him; but he took care of me when no one else did. I remember all those lonely nights I sat with mama and you were God knows where, doing the devil knows what. He came by with food, books and conversation. I never meant to love him, but it seemed to become inevitable. After he confessed his feelings to me, you practically forced us together, inviting him into our lives, our home. B, he told you how he felt and he also told you he would never go away, not once you invited him in. Now, I understand, you were having an affair with Khadijah and my being with Malcolm just evened the playing field in your mind. What you didn’t count on was how much he loved me! You are unable to understand that. For almost two years he and I have been running the Learning Center, we have been friends… that’s it, just friends. However, your latest little indiscretion changes everything. William, I want to be loved, cared for and honored by a man who places me first after God. William Brown, it seems you aren’t that man.” Swallowing down a lump, Brown stared at his wife. He didn’t know what to say. There was nothing he could say.
“William, please leave, I need some peace. I need you to come by tomorrow so we can talk to Aura.”
“What are you planning to tell her?”
“The truth… that her mom and dad are separating after over three decades of marriage and that while we love her and each other, it isn’t enough to sustain us any longer. She’s almost thirty years old, she’ll be fine.”
“What will we tell our families?”
“I only have Aunt Gladys to tell. You can tell your family whatever you want to, I don’t care.”
Not knowing what else to say he reluctantly walked from his home. His heart felt as though it were going to fly from his chest. He never thought Cinnamon would make the decision to divorce him. They had been through so much.
God, please give me the strength to deal with all of this. I know you frown on divorce, but God I can’t go on like this. I have stayed faithful and true to that man to the best of my abilities. I know I stepped out of your will, when I was sexually involved with Malcolm but God, I also know I have asked for and received forgiveness from you. I’m going to need you ever so desperately to get me through this. I love William, but I’m too tired to go through this again. Amen.
What in the world am I going to do? I don’t know what I was thinking getting involved with that woman. For the past year, our lives have been almost platinum. I know Cinnamon has been true to me even though she was still close to Malcolm Black. We enjoyed helping raise our granddaughter and it’s been so awesome. God, why in the world did I allow myself to fall once again into the trap of my own lusts? I can’t imagine getting up everyday without Cinnamon in my life. I love and need her and God, though I’m ashamed to admit it, I can’t live in this town and watch the two of them. It would kill me.
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