The theme of my new book tour has become, 'Saying No To Others, Means Saying Yes to You'...I wrote it in my book and on my dedication page and it works...people are feeling it, and simply, it's the truth. For whatever reason, women are taught they must say yes and acquiesce to whatever we are asked to do. Be it for our parents, our mates, our children, family and friends we feel that saying no is negative.
Well I am here to tell you that saying NO is not only neccessary it is empowering...because once we say no and stick to it, we start to own ourselves...
I have been asked how did I learn this and I tell them I for whatever reason always knew...
As a fifteen, sixteen, seventeen year old in the early seventies, when 'Free Love' reigned supreme, and it was cool to get high or drunk, I knew that didn't work for me....
Having a town full of people know me carnally wasn't an option...
Also, being inebriated and out of control was not either...
I didn't have a speech for anyone, many of my closest friends, felt and did differently and I allowed them to, they also respected me for my choices...
I really didn't have to say no a lot, my rep spoke for itself...
I had lots of dates and male attention, but they knew it was all about dancing,
talking, having fun and taking me home...intact, at the end of the night....
Talking to a woman the other day about my book, she asked me if my just say no theme in "Is No Not Clear Enough For You?, going to set back women's sexual power...
I looked at her, waiting for the punchline...when none was forthcoming....
I had to tell my sister, that saying no to teenage sex is not setting back a damn thing, except unwanted pregnancy, chlamidia, Hiv and other communicable diseases. I had to unleash on her the facts that most new cases of HIV is African-American women, that a great percentage of single parent households are led by teenaged girls, which translates in many cases to poor disenfranchised women, who many times spend the whole of their lives POWERLESS, waiting on babydaddies to dole out change for their children....Negress Please...
She smiled....nodding as though those things had never occurred to her...
So I continued by saying that to own onesself, the ability to say no to anything that isn't right for you is TRUE POWER, be it sex, drugs, poverty, or compromised opportunities and in Malaaka Green, I simply wrote a sixteen year-old character who saw what was going on around her and decided that the only person who would be responsible for Malaaka was Malaaka, she never tells anyone what to do, she simply knows that to compete in this world, she needs to do what fills her spirits and leaves her with clear cut choices....What in the World is More Powerful than that?
Blessings,
angelia
IS NO NOT CLEAR ENOUGH FOR YOU?
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/
www.authorsden.com/angeliavmenchan
