THE FORGIVENESS FACTOR

This is the textbook, webster defintion of forgive: to cease to feel resentment against (an offender) : pardon Which basically means we let the feeling of resentment and anger against another go. We pardon them of whatever hurt they have caused us. Also from a biblical perspective we are asked to forgive others as God has forgiven us.... What you will not find in any dictionary or the bible is an instance where we are mandated to hang out with or invite into our homes or go to parties with, et al. those we have forgiven. In fact, on many, many ocassions, the bible reminds us that there are those when we are on our walk with God that we are best to leave alone. It always amuses me that when I tell someone that I don't hang out with or have a relationship with someone they remind me that I am supposed to forgive the person. I am going to say it one more time, FORGIVING A PERSON DOES NOT MEAN YOU HAVE TO ROLL WITH THEM, CONDONE WHAT THEY HAVE DONE OR AGREE WITH THEIR MADNESS...It simply means you have freed yourself from the burden of walking around mad at them all the time, feeling resentment against them and acting as if you need to exact some kind of revenge. I have had to forgive a gang of folk in my life, and many have forgiven me. There are those who I have still maintained relationships with, but there are others who I prayed about and knew that for my own peace of mind and spiritual growth, I had to let go. And sometimes we need to really think about what we are asking people to do. For instance if you are raped or molested or beaten almost to death by someone, it is in your best interest to be able to forgive that person, so you can go on with your life. HOWEVER, it does not mean you need to then jump in the car with a rapist, saying well I had to forgive you, so let's ride. I know that sounds extreme but I want it to sound that way. I have found myself in situations where I forgave and tried to be around the person again and in short order, I was dealing with the same situation again, that didn't make me a serial forgiver, it made me a glutton for punishment. And God always gives us warnings and messages about people, we must use discernment and be careful, because everyone is not good for us. I remember my mama used to say, "The time of day belongs to a dog." Which translated to, we should speak to people, show them kindness and be as gracious as we can. But that same mama said, "If you lay down with dogs, you will get up with fleas." Which translated to, after you have been de-flead and have forgiven the dog and even provided for his care, you don't have to them jump back in the bed with him. So all I am saying is this, if someone has harmed you, or wronged you or done some egregious thing that may have not even been to you, but goes against all you know as right, please forgive them, free yourself of the burden of carrying it around, but do not allow anyone to make you feel bad or unholy because you refuse to be caught up in all that again... BE BLESSED! angelia!