I am always experiencing revelations...dont even have to leave home to have it happen...one of the most painful ones is the revealing of what people are about...I have a few folk in my life who know me, they know if they hint around about something for the most part I am going to do it...and alas, that is the extent of our relationship...
Here recently, I have had a couple of experiences where the person hinted and I ignored or they came right out and asked and I finally had the wherewithall to say, 'Umm, no, not going to do it, at least not like that,,," Felt freeing to me...and I knew it was right for me...
Haven't heard from them, not 'hey, hello, how you doing, go to hell, nothing, nada, and I am not surprised, because as goofy as I act, I straight knew what the relationships were and what they were about. I recall years ago having a painful conversation with a friend...we had known each other for about four years and I realized our relationship was so one sided, everything was about her pain, her life, her this or her that...she would invite me to lunch and ask me to pay, for her...after awhile I said to her, 'We arent friends...' She said, "Of course we are, Angi, you are so good to me," I remained quiet and I saw the revelation hit her...
And I only blame me, no one else because giving at times has been my quest to make good, to get people who I have to coexist with feel comfortable on some level...martyrdom at it's finest...
Well, no mas, I am tired and there are too many way too many worthy causes I need to support...Breast Cancer Research, Prostate Cancer, et. al...
BE PEACE...
angelia
