I am always experiencing revelations...dont even have to leave home to have it happen...one of the most painful ones is the revealing of what people are about...I have a few folk in my life who know me, they know if they hint around about something for the most part I am going to do it...and alas, that is the extent of our relationship...
Here recently, I have had a couple of experiences where the person hinted and I ignored or they came right out and asked and I finally had the wherewithall to say, 'Umm, no, not going to do it, at least not like that,,," Felt freeing to me...and I knew it was right for me...
Haven't heard from them, not 'hey, hello, how you doing, go to hell, nothing, nada, and I am not surprised, because as goofy as I act, I straight knew what the relationships were and what they were about. I recall years ago having a painful conversation with a friend...we had known each other for about four years and I realized our relationship was so one sided, everything was about her pain, her life, her this or her that...she would invite me to lunch and ask me to pay, for her...after awhile I said to her, 'We arent friends...' She said, "Of course we are, Angi, you are so good to me," I remained quiet and I saw the revelation hit her...
And I only blame me, no one else because giving at times has been my quest to make good, to get people who I have to coexist with feel comfortable on some level...martyrdom at it's finest...
Well, no mas, I am tired and there are too many way too many worthy causes I need to support...Breast Cancer Research, Prostate Cancer, et. al...
BE PEACE...
angelia
6 comments:
Angelia, your posts are always on time. I recently had to accept (last week) that someone I've always considered a friend only considered me an afterthought---or their backup friend. Having this revealed to me was heartbreaking but yet freeing at the same time.
So true..Everyone has to travel this painful journey of truth. Life is the best teacher. I learned the hard way that people treated me the way I allowed them to treat me. The lessons were painful, but necessary. I don't blame anyone for the obstacles I've encountered along my journey. I'm grateful & thankful I am wiser. Many people view kindness as a sign of being meek & weak. WRONG!! I've had some people say 'I thought you were saved' when the reaction they expected didn't meet their expectations. My walk more than my talk reveals that I am, but being saved doesn't mean doormat or stupid. "Mama Truth" thanks for mentoring ME w/ your words. They are blessings of wisdom. I'm currently reading Re-Rambled. What a treasure. May you continue to reap the harvest of the seeds you're planting. xoxoxo
Shelia, glad I could help...
Angela, that is how they get you, talk about your Christianity...I cannot tell you how may times whenever someone close to me gets mad or I don't do something they want me to they immediately say I am not a Christian or that I am fake Christian...it now rolls off my back like water of oil...
Like Sheila, I have come to the conclusion that someone I considered a close friend was not. I can never reach her by phone or going to her house. She doesn't return calls, her phone is full but I know she is getting my calls. I know she is going through some things, but then again, she always is. Weeks will go by and then she will call; it's on her terms and I've had enough. When I have brought it up, she has an excuse but she talks to who she wants to talk to when she want to and evidently I am not a priority. I have been there for her but enough is enough is enough.
Dera,
enough is definitely enough...
angelia
I've always believed that people come into your life for a reason and a season. I hae had to end friendships that I thought would never end. But you get tired of the one sided aspects of friendships.
Great blog Queen !!
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