Family by definition is very clear and finite,
However, something I have learned and learned to appreciate is that family is a heart and soul thing…
Many times, those who become our family are not tied to us by blood, but how we feel
About them, how they feel about us, how we bond and treat one another,
For years I clung by my teeth and nails to the rigid family definition,
Making a lot of decisions about people, places and things based on that…
As such I lost out on a lot of amazing relationships,
What I had to discover is that I can love blood,
But not buy into, be accepting of or put up with any old thing,
Simply because a person is blood-tied to us does not in any way mean,
We have to buy into or condone their madness,
Or more importantly spend our dwindling time left on this planet, sucking up whatever they are putting out because of ‘feelings’ mostly of guilt,
What I had to learn to do was in some cases create family situations,
Spend time with people who value me,
Who I value,
Who only want from me some shared time,
Who aren't trying to control what I do based on what they can or can't do...
And have no problems with reciprocation…
It has not always been easy, but it sure has allowed me to have better relationships,
More equal encounters, leaving me with choices as to how I spend my time,
And with whom…
I will have to quote one of my mentees on this…
“Growing up is work!”
And as I told her…
“But it sure is worth it…ultimately!”
Blessings,
angelia
