I can always remember hearing people, black people say that ‘Mother Wit’ was more important than many things…’Mother Wit’ is defined simply as natural intelligence or wit…or something you received from being taught by the elders…
Yesterday I was thinking about my mom and all the things she taught me,
Some by saying,
Some by doing,
And a few things by me doing the opposite of what she did,
And said...
Yes, we can learn to not do certain things, simply by observance,
Our relationship had several layers…chapters if you will…
The first chapter was when I was a young girl,
I thought of my mama as the coolest, prettiest woman on the planet,
She could be stern, but she was also playful when it suited her,
She was also mercurial and temperamental…I inherited that…
But mostly I knew how much she loved me…
When I reached my teens we weren’t as close,
She had chosen her life and as a somewhat self-absorbed teen, I wasn’t feeling her choices.
We weren’t as close, but there was never a day when I doubted her love,
Once I was married and a mom our relationship took on a different tone,
We had a commonality beyond being mother and daughter,
And what I remember and love most is that she allowed me to handle my business,
She never told me how to deal with my husband,
Or how to raise my children,
She was there if I needed her,
But a big part of that might be because I kept my business to myself,
My mother never knew what went on in my marriage,
Or even what went on with my kids for the most part,
That was what we called MK Menchan family business…
She thanked me for that before she died,
Which brings me to the most bittersweet part of what we had…
The two years before she died,
We became closer than ever,
In small ways I had become one of her caretakers,
And that wasn’t easy for her but she dealt with it,
But mostly we became friends,
I can remember the times she and I sat on the sofa and girl-talked,
She told me so many things about her life,
She was thirty when I was born so she had done a lot of living,
I shared with her some things she didn’t know about me,
Oh what revelations…
Mostly we laughed…a lot,
Sometimes near the end,
We would just sit quietly,
Saying nothing,
But enjoying what we had between us,
We were shoulder to shoulder and hip to hip,
And the best thing was that I still knew how much my mama,
Loved her Angi…only she called me that,
And I know she knew how much I loved her,
To this day when I am struggling with something that I can’t tell anyone,
Or talk to anyone about,
All I have to do is think of mama,
And I can see her sideways smile,
Much like mine…
And the wink from her almond shaped eyes,
Just like mine,
And all is well with my world…
BE BLESSED!
Angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com
