One of the hardest things to articulate to people is to only hold themselves accountable…
It is hard, I grant you that,
But it is freeing…
What I mean by that is this,
People do to you what you allow,
If someone is disrespecting you,
There had to be a first time, now think back to how you handled it,
If you acted like it was okay, pretended it didn’t happen or turned the other cheek,
Until your head was spinning like that girl in the exorcist,
Then it happened again and a pattern of behavior was set,
Then months later when you go crazy on the person,
They are puzzled because they have become so comfortable with how they are behaving,
Thinking you must like it, you didn’t say anything,
So my unasked for advice is simple,
The very first time you feel dissed, maligned, underappreciated, overworked, whatever…
Part your lips and say something,
No cussing, histrionics or beat downs necessary,
At least not the first time…
It is amazing how it works,
They might not stop doing it, but they will surely stop doing it to you…
And just might think about it before they do it to someone else,
Because sometimes folks just don’t know until you hip ‘em to it…
I recall several years ago someone made a remark to me about someone of a different ethnicity than the two of us,
I kindly, gently but strongly asked them not to do that again,
They were a bit puzzled because it wasn’t a Black remark,
I patiently explained that my philosophy is this,
“If you talk to me about them, what will stop you talking to them about me”…
Hmmm….
Periodically they tell me that when they get ready to say something…
I jump in their heads, making them think about it,
My work was done,’
So remember the old saying, “Those who stand for nothing, will go for anything!”
Love and Blessings!
angelia
