There are times in my life when I take self-imposed time outs. And right after my birthday on January 19th I took one. I was so tired, as tired as I had ever been. 2010 found me so busy, too busy to even think. One of the admin assistants gave a week resignation and bounced. Shortly after that I started working as a financial liaison for the oil spill, in addition to my other duties and I took it upon myself to write and publish four books in twelve months.
Not only that I just didn’t feel good. I would get up at 430 in the morning, go through the motions, go to work, write, serve, do what was expected of me and do it over and over again, BUT my quality of life was suffering. And after a year of pushing, my body screamed stop!
After January 19, I could barely move. I went to the doctor and she told me I was clinically exhausted. Duh! And though I had a book, ZEN COPPER, Woman-Child that had just come out, I didn’t even have the energy to promote it. People were calling and asking when was the book release, book signings, all things that I automatically do, but God knows it wasn’t in me. I honestly said, “I don’t know…” I didn’t.
Not only that there was turmoil at church and people I loved were struggling and I was trying to do as much as I could. But the vessel was tired and weak. Depleted!
Fortunately and blessedly, those who always support my work, continued to. And I love and appreciate them for it. Because Zen was a labor of love for me, however, because I love me more, I knew it was time to just sit still. And I did. I changed my work schedule, I stayed off line, mostly and I worked on shoring up the vessel. Also, I prayed myself through the spiritual turmoil and kept my eyes focused on God instead of people and that storm is also abating.
I am still tired but I am healing, getting myself to where I need to be, realizing that being all over the place and trying to be all things to all people is good for no one. And that what God has for me is for me and that taking a timeout is simply good sense, because there is a time and place for all things.
Not sure when I will get back out there and on the road. Might not even do it this year, but here is the thing, God has blessed me to be able to make the choices that are best for me and for that I am grateful.
Angelia
www.angeliamenchan.com
