Yesterday, I Angelia Vernon Menchan saw my life in living color, I had a humpty-dumpty moment, I sat on a wall and had a great fall,
Hurt like hell because I looked in the face of my mistakes, my transgressions, my sins,
And I knew it was time to be put back together again,
So many people ask my how did I get the way I am,
And the truth is simple,
By fighting and pushing forward,
There is hardly a scenario,
With the exception of dying that I didn’t face when I was a young girl,
Growing up,
And the fact that I didn’t die was through the grace of God,
Because there were a couple times I looked death in the face,
And when I blinked I was till here,
And that my friends is the truth,
Not blaming anyone,
Just telling the truth,
And I cannot blame anyone because what I chose to do is use those things,
To push me,
I remember first grade,
I got all Cs on my first report card,
My mama told me that I had better never do that again,
Didn’t have another C until I was in ninth grade,
Didn’t even have a B,
In ninth grade,
I was feeling grown, I had a job, my life was chaos and I slept in civics because I was tired,
Mr. Nealis called me out,
Told me I should be ashamed of myself for not doing my best,
Pulled it together and graduated near the top of my class,
And that is what sustained me,
I fought and when anyone called me out,
I listened and performed,
For all my life,
I did what I felt I was supposed to do and tried my hardest to do the same,
For those I loved and cared about,
I messed up royally,
Because in so doing,
I made them impotent,
I protected them from what the world was really like,
I tried to make all the ugliness pretty,
I knew that I could take any amount of pain,
Had been there and done that,
Staring down the barrel of a gun literally without flinching,
So the rest was easy,
But since it’s truth telling time,
The truth is this,
We as mothers, wives, friends,
Must at times step out of the way and allow people to fall and to fail,
To be an adult we have to own our own mess and take our lumps and pay the price of our transgressions,
The only person we can place on high is God,
Not our parents, our spouses, and certainly not our children,
Because what we do,
Is make them live in a world that is unrealistic and when the time,
To cope come,
They are unable and every mistake or choice that is made is blamed on someone else,
I confess to having been guilty of all this,
And this is a rebirth for me,
I have no minor children,
I have no parents,
I am married to an awesome man,
However,
I have to lot of work to do on me,
And today is as good a day as any,
To start,
Because what I know for sure,
Is that God didn’t bring me through all of that,
For me to fail now….
BE PEACE~
Angelia Vernon Menchan
