What does it mean to be happy for someone? To me it means that no matter what is going on in your life, you are happy when others do well and excel. Even when you arent doing so well yourself. Period. What I have come to discover is that there are a lot of people who say I am happy for you, but…
Which seems to mean, I am happy for you, but I wish it were me…
I am happy for you, but why is all this good stuff going on…for you…
I am happy for you but, I have to take back what I thought I knew when you told me your were going to do that…
Or, I am really not happy for your azz at all, but I feel I have to say I am…
This weekend I was thinking about my life and life of others that I love, at all the times we have been in the darkness, marching through the trenches, yet never gave up or stop believing that God would bring us through and when he does, we are almost mute in giving praise, because we know that those we want to be happy for us, or rather with us, really aren’t.
I remember when I first started writing, there were those who totally ignored the fact that I had even written a book…they received their copy (free), read it and never said a word to anyone…professing with their mouth how ‘happy’ they were for me…
I will confess here that I was hurt, because each time someone said, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t know you were writing books. I asked so and so about you the other day, and they never even mentioned it.” A little dart would hit my heart, because I knew that someone who I had given the book to and who claimed, ‘happiness’ had not even mentioned that I wrote books.
For a while I wondered why, mostly because when someone asks me about someone I care about or am happy for, I will immediately say, they are doing such and such or working here or there…or something.
But in time I came to realize that I would have to chart my own course, do my own thing and make my own noise. And I tell those in my life who are trying to do something, that they too will have to do the same. Because, mama, daddy, sister, brother, lover, homey, friend may profess ‘happy’ for you and they may genuinely be.
But, it will sometimes, be a very quiet, damn near mute happiness that will never pass their lips beyond saying to YOU, how happy they are. But soldier on, because what God has for you, no one can stop, my life and my writing is a living testimony to that….
BE YOUR OWN TRUMPET
Angelia
www.angeliamenchan.com
