Last night I was in a meeting that took me back to when I was a senior in high school. Or rather, it made me think of that. One of the things that I have learned over the years is that it isn’t what you say but how you say it and often, who says it.
Last night there were a few people who continued to make points, some good, some not so good. But, their points were invalidated by how they said it, which was in a rather inarticulate way and sounded more argumentative than anything. And it also, alas was because of who they were, they were known as trouble makers, thus right thinking (ha!) people didn’t hear them.
How this took me back, was that almost every year during cheerleaders tryouts, there was usually one token black cheerleader chosen at my predominately white high school. Well, this year, there were none chosen and immediately there were cries of racism. I cringed because the two girls who had tried out were questionable as cheerleaders at best and there were other concerns. I was an intern in the counselor’s office, so of course the dean called me down to ask if there were anything I could do to stop the action. Seriously?
I told her no, and that people had the right to protest. She nodded, saying, “But, Angelia you have so much influence and so many people respect you, on both sides.” I nodded not at all sure that the rejected cheerleaders respected me or if I had any influence on them. Let’s just say we weren’t friends. Anywhoo~
She went on to explain that the school had decided that no one was going to make cheerleader who wasn’t first, qualified, and secondly didn’t represent the school well, regardless of their race. I knew from whence she spoke on the representation, but I declined. I have never been one that anyone could talk into anything.
Before I could make my way out of her office, a young man, who I was very good friends with stopped to ask me if I would join the protest on behalf of the cheerleaders because they had had a meeting and decided they needed someone who spoke well, was pretty level-headed and who both sides would listen to. Huh? I didn’t believe him but he swore, even asking me to walk with him so they could tell me themselves. I asked why. He told me, ‘Because you know what to say and how to say it and ‘THEY’ know you don’t have an agenda.
“So, let me get this straight, these girls don’t like me, they aren’t really qualified as cheerleaders, one has a horrible reputation, but they want me to come down and speak to the student body in their behalf.”
“Pretty much…”
“I’m sorry, but I can’t do that. First because I have to believe in what I am speaking for, secondly because in this rare instance, I don’t feel it was racism, and finally I have no interest in being a pawn. Sorry.”
Of course, he wasn’t happy to go back to tell them what I said, and I am sure the hue and cry was that I wasn’t down for my people, which was BS and they knew it which is why they asked me in the first place. And what I know for sure is that if you are going into battle, you must make sure you are strapped with the right arsenal because a part of being able to win is knowing what to say, how to say it and being one that people are interested in listening to.
Angelia
www.angeliamenchan.com
