I am sometimes amazed and caught off guard about what people are thinking or feeling about me or my life. Of course, we all are because we never know. But the truth is I don’t spend much time concerned with what others think or feel about me and it isn’t because I don’t care, I just know that it is counterproductive. However, I am a bit taken aback when people say they are jealous about something because honest to God that is something I am unable to wrap my mind around. Because what I know for sure is that what is mine I will have and no one else will be able to get it. If someone takes my man, my job or whatever those things were never mine in the first place and though I might be sad about it our hurt I know that to be true.
Yesterday I wrote a question on facebook inquiring why people went through their partners cellphones, emails etc. and the general consensus was that it made sense and when I replied I was told that was because I had a relationship that made people wish they had it or made them jealous. Wasn’t sure how to respond to that because I haven’t had that many relationships, been married for 33 years and had a few boyfriends, before that but I can honestly say that even as a young woman, teenager et al. I never felt the need or the desire to check behind or chase anyone. I can recall in early married years, Mr. Menchan loved to hang out with his friends. One night a woman called and asked me if I wanted to go look for them. I told her ‘Umm no thanks.’ She didn’t understand. I told her that I didn’t handle my business in that way and if I had an issue it would be resolved within my home and I turned over and went back to sleep.
Another situation hit me first thing this morning, I was walking in with a coworker and she told me I looked tired. I told her I was, that we had been doing renovations for the last couple months and was almost done. She asked what and I told her and she said, “I thought you all did that already. You are always getting things done.” Her voice sounded some kind of way so I didn’t say a word. Because what I was thinking was, “Okay but what does what I do or how much have to do with you or take away from you.” Before I could get done thinking she said, “Well we have finally saved up enough to get our kitchen done.” Okay! Ding ding ding.
Much of this makes me not want to ever say anything about anything but damn it I refuse not to be pleased with the fact that God has blessed me with a loving man, who I love. Our lives are far from perfect but what we know for sure is that we have both been in this to win this and we are about our business. If we can be an example for anyone we are open to that but this thing works because it isn’t about me or him, God is in the mix of this marriage and all of anything I ever get.And there really is an abundance out there for all of us.
BE BLESSED~
angelia
