When my kids were small, they loved magic shows,
And we took them to many, but, quite unromantically we made sure they understood,
It was trickery, smoke and mirrors, balderdash…
That abbra cadabbra only works on stage,
Everything else worth having takes work and devotion,
Simple, right?
No, evidently not,
Sometimes I am amazed by the number of grown folks who once they discover,
I have been married for over three decades,
Will ask me what the secret is and expect me to tell them in a conversation,
Lord…
I tell them that there are no secrets or magic formulas,
But the foundation is honesty, truth, trust, compromise and a willingness to be wrong,
Sometimes…
And the hardest thing of all is sticking to it…
It is easy to leave…throw in the towel, look for greener grass over the septic tank,
I recall a few months ago, around Christmas time I was standing in the post office,
The woman behind me struck up a conversation,
Finally she asked me what she really wanted to know,
Looking at my ring, she commented on the size of it….I guess size does matter…grinning….
Then she asked how long I had been married,
I told her thirty years and that I had received the ring on my 25th anniversary,
She told me that if she had hung in there, she would be married over thirty years also,
She sounded so wistful…
As a nosy writer my ears were pulsating,
She said that at the time, her man wasn’t ambitious enough for her and she decided,
To seek greener pastures…
I asked how he was doing now,
She told me that he and his second wife were doing very well and living well…
Hmmmm…
Guess he found someone to work with him…
Trust him, believe in him…
Who understood there was no magic formula,
That marriage like anything else is WORK…
Though there is something that holds true…
Women want to be loved…all the time,
And men crave being respected by the women they love,
All the time…
It is also helpful to know going in,
That if you aren’t perfect,
Then chances are your partner will not be either…
Which means there will be lots of give and take,
Ups and downs,
Tos and fros…
But there will also be many days when it really does feel like MAGIC…
HONEST…
LOVE PEACE and BLESSINGS
Angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com
