This has been a week filled with epiphanies and reflections and resolve, the resolve to move forth. For over four years I have been writing and publishing my own work and it has been a joyous journey, mostly. Now, I will not tell you that I haven’t had any days when I have wondered what is wrong with me, trying to hustle books…hmmpphh…but mostly it has been a joy. I am not sure if it is because I own my own work, I don’t have anyone telling me when to write, what to write and how to write…I just get to write and tell my own stories, share my own experiences.
Now, I know there are those who probably are saying, ‘If you let someone else publish it, you will make more money, more people will know your name…They are right! I am just not personally ready for all that…I have a career, that I have no intentions of leaving until I retire…soon and very soon…also I love the pace of my writing life, I can do as many things or as few things as I choose to do…
Then there are those who say, ‘You are scared that your work will be rejected and you need more than your family to read your work.” They are wrong! I have actually had a few offers and not just my family reads my books, I have a pretty decent and diverse readership. Those who heard about my books and bought them and then told people about them. Don’t get any fat residual checks in the mail…but have never lost money on any venture and always turn a profit, ain’t begging nobody for nothing. Thanks to God for that and my man. Hee Hee!
Will I ever change my mind, I might…I am a few years from retirement, my man has retired once and will retire again and thanks be to God we will be able to get on the road and do our thing…and I have absolutely no doubt at all that I will sell more and more books as time progresses. Arrogant? Oh no, never that.
But what I know for absolute sure is that God has always taken care of me. There were times in my young life when I didn’t have a thing. But was never afraid that I wouldn’t because even then I trusted God to provide and I did my part by believing and working.
I recall 15 years ago I had spent 10 years working in retail management and I was tired. Had made good money but the dog eat dog world was killing me. Killing me. Sitting in the café with a friend prior to leaving Hawaii, I told her, “Pauline, I think I am going to be a counselor.”
She looked at me like I was crazy, telling me that wasn’t my background and that I wouldn’t make as much money. She was right as rain. But I never doubted. Moved to Oklahoma and enrolled in Cameron University. Had a job first as a bank officer, which I left. Two days later, Treasure Lake Job Corps called me for a two day temp assignment in the counseling office, was there three years as a counselor. See what I am saying…God delivers if we do our part.
Moved here in ’99 with a job as a biological admin, I wanted a better job, earning more money and had every intention of leaving that job, well I did but never left the office, was promoted in ’02 to Budget Officer and am still here in the better job, earning more money…Are you feeling the trend yet?
2006, vanity published a book, Black’s Obsession that was so flawed it brings tears to my eyes. Got mostly average reviews but no one seemed to not like it or the message, and to this day many of the people who have read all my books considers it their favorite, some say a ‘cult’ classic…hah…I was cussing up a storm and stuff…whew…4.5 years later many of those who felt that book wasn’t so good are the same people who are flabbergasted I am still in the game and that people are actually talking about and purchasing my work…see I am telling you this proves that ‘What God has for you, is for you…”
I am saying all this to say, that I am never in a hurry to get where I am going, sometimes I get there fast and other times I take circuitous routes, but what I always do is own what I do, while fervently praying and putting in the work because what I know for sure in this over 50 year journey that it ain’t over…there is always more to be done…
JOIN ME AND DERA WILLIAMS TONIGHT AT 7EST AS WE DISCUSS Mother Wit with Yolanda Spinks and others at Booksand.net LOVE and
BLESSINGS!
angelia
