My man has this saying that used to send me over the edge, nowadays we say it and roll with laughter, it is,
“Everything doesn’t have to be said.”
I used to take that personal because usually he mouthed those words when I wanted to say something….
But I have discovered with some reluctance that he sure was on to something…
Everything really doesn’t have to said,
And it certainly doesn’t have to be said in the way so many people say it…
Words are mighty powerful and dependent upon who is doing the saying…
They can be uplifting or demoralizing…
When I was growing up there were so many words we couldn’t say…
I often wondered why…
I guess I thought at that time my mom, grandmother, aunts and godmother were trying to stifle me…
We couldn’t use words such as stupid, or say we hated anyone…
Just wasn’t allowed…
Thanks ancestors….
Many times when I am reading blogs or opinions I am often shocked at how just downright mean some things come across…
I understand that usually the writer isn’t trying to come across as mean…
Somewhere along the line many have confused knowledgeable with in your face opinionated, all the time…in much the way people have confused strong with tough…
But that is another blog for another day…
Very often a simple change of word will change the tone and make the message more poignant…
I have a friend who just can’t understand why she can say something…
And people will leave in droves….never to return again, often taking a side street if they see her coming….
I can say something pretty similar and receive the opposite response…
I have been telling her for decades…it is a simple turn of phrase…
No one wants to be around anyone all the time…
Who lambasts them…
Or talks to them from a place of often misplaced superiority…
And trust me on this, I am not spouting…
“You can get more flies with honey…”
Cause who the heck wants flies?
What I am saying is that there is usually a more humane way to make a point without leaving someone bleeding in the aisles…calm, firm and fair is a blessing….
And if you are unable to do so…
I reluctantly admit…
That there are times when everything doesn’t have to be said….thanks honey...
angelia
9 comments:
*Nodding my head in agreement, and giving Angelia a high five*
You are on point today, sis! This is so true. I can't add anything. All I can do is co-sign.
much love and peace,
Gwyneth
Thanks Sis,
love and blessings...
angelia
Yes, Angelia...you are telling the truth here. I hold my tongue more so than I used to because I am a straight up kind of girl with no chasers at all.
Sometimes when you hold your tongue what rolls from it is sweeter...not just to the recipient but to you...
smooches
Somewhere along the line many have confused knowledgeable with in your face opinionated, all the time…in much the way people have confused strong with tough…
HELLO and thanks for the reminder because there are times when I forget I left the debate team with HS and that only a fool argues with a crazy person...that last part compliments of Grandma Nora...whew that was a women filled with love and mother wit...and who always had a good word for everyone!
I think Grandma Nora is related to my people,
Love....
angelia
In my 20s, fresh out of school and thinking I knew something, I felt like I had to express my opinion in a strong manner...and continue to do so until other folks got on board. Not rude--cuz your folks are related to my folks--but just had to show my knowledge.
Not now. Now I know why, growing up, aunts and grandmothers and the church mothers would sometimes just smile at folks who said something unnecessary or rude or downright ignorant. Sometimes it's just better to smile that smile...and walk away.
Patricia,
we all went through that in our twenties, we were sooooooo smart, but we were taught when a child, I spoke as a child, we are now grown...laughing
blessings...
angelia
Truly a lesson I am teaching myself...not there yet...so I have to stick to the in-your-face opinions until I know better
I still have time...I'm thinking when my kids and I grow up...I'll be close
Genesis
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