WHY I DO IT, HOW I DO IT!

This has been a week filled with epiphanies and reflections and resolve, the resolve to move forth. For over four years I have been writing and publishing my own work and it has been a joyous journey, mostly. Now, I will not tell you that I haven’t had any days when I have wondered what is wrong with me, trying to hustle books…hmmpphh…but mostly it has been a joy. I am not sure if it is because I own my own work, I don’t have anyone telling me when to write, what to write and how to write…I just get to write and tell my own stories, share my own experiences.

Now, I know there are those who probably are saying, ‘If you let someone else publish it, you will make more money, more people will know your name…They are right! I am just not personally ready for all that…I have a career, that I have no intentions of leaving until I retire…soon and very soon…also I love the pace of my writing life, I can do as many things or as few things as I choose to do…

Then there are those who say, ‘You are scared that your work will be rejected and you need more than your family to read your work.” They are wrong! I have actually had a few offers and not just my family reads my books, I have a pretty decent and diverse readership. Those who heard about my books and bought them and then told people about them. Don’t get any fat residual checks in the mail…but have never lost money on any venture and always turn a profit, ain’t begging nobody for nothing. Thanks to God for that and my man. Hee Hee!

Will I ever change my mind, I might…I am a few years from retirement, my man has retired once and will retire again and thanks be to God we will be able to get on the road and do our thing…and I have absolutely no doubt at all that I will sell more and more books as time progresses. Arrogant? Oh no, never that.
But what I know for absolute sure is that God has always taken care of me. There were times in my young life when I didn’t have a thing. But was never afraid that I wouldn’t because even then I trusted God to provide and I did my part by believing and working.

I recall 15 years ago I had spent 10 years working in retail management and I was tired. Had made good money but the dog eat dog world was killing me. Killing me. Sitting in the café with a friend prior to leaving Hawaii, I told her, “Pauline, I think I am going to be a counselor.”
She looked at me like I was crazy, telling me that wasn’t my background and that I wouldn’t make as much money. She was right as rain. But I never doubted. Moved to Oklahoma and enrolled in Cameron University. Had a job first as a bank officer, which I left. Two days later, Treasure Lake Job Corps called me for a two day temp assignment in the counseling office, was there three years as a counselor. See what I am saying…God delivers if we do our part.

Moved here in ’99 with a job as a biological admin, I wanted a better job, earning more money and had every intention of leaving that job, well I did but never left the office, was promoted in ’02 to Budget Officer and am still here in the better job, earning more money…Are you feeling the trend yet?

2006, vanity published a book, Black’s Obsession that was so flawed it brings tears to my eyes. Got mostly average reviews but no one seemed to not like it or the message, and to this day many of the people who have read all my books considers it their favorite, some say a ‘cult’ classic…hah…I was cussing up a storm and stuff…whew…4.5 years later many of those who felt that book wasn’t so good are the same people who are flabbergasted I am still in the game and that people are actually talking about and purchasing my work…see I am telling you this proves that ‘What God has for you, is for you…”

I am saying all this to say, that I am never in a hurry to get where I am going, sometimes I get there fast and other times I take circuitous routes, but what I always do is own what I do, while fervently praying and putting in the work because what I know for sure in this over 50 year journey that it ain’t over…there is always more to be done…

JOIN ME AND DERA WILLIAMS TONIGHT AT 7EST AS WE DISCUSS Mother Wit with Yolanda Spinks and others at Booksand.net LOVE and

BLESSINGS!
angelia

GROWING WEARY...

Yesterday was one of those days that I felt like if someone asked me for a glass of water, they might have been out of luck. Honest. I was weary. I felt put upon and I was convinced I would never do another thing for anybody. Of course, that was never true, but damnit it was my fantasy. I woke up to emails and text messages with this one asking for that, and that one asking for the other. Then there were the couple of things I asked of people and didnt even get a hell no from them. Then I looked at my spreadsheet of things that I had out there with absolutely no response or reciprocation and I was burning. Usually, my husband will calm me down, tell me it is all for the greater good. But, not this time, he was right there with me. He and I fumed and fussed about cutting off this one and that one and he ‘reminded’ me of all the money I had put out over the past year with no return on my investment and I heard ‘I told you so’ all up and through his words. Damn.

I got in my car, drove to work, worked for an hour, walked in, told my boss, I was on my way home. Considering I have worked for and with him over 11 years, he smiled and waved me adieu. He knows me and the ‘voice’ was in play.

Well, I got home, worked a bit, fumed some, prayed a bit, wrote a few things, prayed some more. But lo and behold, things continued to occur. I was ready to change my will and a few other things by this time. When the man got home we had a pity party together. And then we went to church.

For the past several months we have been working through the sermon on the mount in Matthew, and I was ready for Pastor C to bring it home. But when he stood up he said, we were studying, Galatians 6:9. I looked at the man and he grinned at me, I shook his hand and allowed the passage to pour down over me.

Let us not become weary in doing good, for at the proper time we will reap a harvest if we do not give up.

HAVE MERCY

Pastor C, brought that message home, declaring how we all get tired, we are human and we feel used and put upon. But, we must not stop doing good because if we hang in there, do good and not give up, God always rewards us at the proper time….

Did, I say HAVE MERCY…

I felt tears in my heart and eyes because that was what I needed. I needed a kick in the butt that the little bit of good I can do is not even about me and that even if it goes unappreciated, and people take things for granted, even take my kindness for weakness, that I must soldier on in doing what God has asked of me because my rewards come from HIM and HIM alone and it comes at the time when he has deemed it so. Thank God for that, because I know for myself that true Harvests are not quick. We must plant seeds, nurture them and wait.
I am good with that, because over and over again, it has been proven true.
AMEN…

Angelia
www.angeliamenchan.com

IT'S ABOUT MORE THAN SELLING BOOKS~

Something I learned early in the writing game is that it’s not just selling books. When I first started writing I didn’t care if I sold only 10 books, I just wanted to write. Selling was a bonus. I cross my heart to God. However, once I entered groups I discovered that many thought I was cuckoo for cocoa puffs, no one seemed to understand my reasoning. Many laughed outright in my face, others made remarks and innuendos and still others were mad at me, because they were trying to sell me their way to do things. For a brief period I became very confused…and starting throwing my money hither and yon. To no actual avail. I was in this booklet and that booklet and on this place and that place. Sold a handful of books and it didn’t come close to what I had spent. Then I said, ‘Angel, hold up wait a minute. You are a business woman, been working since thirteen, you know how to sell some stuff and you know your brand.” Duh!

So in early 2007 I quit almost every group I was in and took to the road. I did festivals, churches, radio, hired a local publicist, hooked up with local book clubs and guess what I started selling books. People started to talk about my brand and me. Now, don’t get me wrong, I didn’t sell books at every venue. But, I knew that going in. What my focus was in some cases was to let them know I existed.
I recall going to the Zora Neale Hurston festival in 2007 and probably sold 25 books in two dayS, but you know what the benefits of being there are still resonating, many of those people who I gave cards to and talked to are still purchasing and promoting my work.

Also as the advertising thing, I learned where to spend my money. I learned who was in it for the dollars only and I learned who was trying to promote work of authors and get some residual benefits for themselves and believe you me, there is nothing wrong with that, because we can all benefit the other. I tell you if you treat me and my product respectfully, you have someone who will support you forever. On the other hand if you take my money and act like you have done me a favor by taking it, well sayonara.

I am a grown woman who has been working for forty years and one thing I know for sure it is about more than selling books. It is about making relationships, supporting and being supported and giving the readers something that will make them come back for more, even it’s simply a few minutes of your time. But, don’t take my word for it, get out there and try it for yourself!

LOVE PEACE and BOOKS!
angelia

BUSY WOMEN!

Over the past several months I have had to pause at my own busy-ness and the busy-ness of others as it impacts me. And it is mostly women. It seems that men are able to go to work, work the job, come home and sit down and leave it go…not so much with women.

Speaking for myself, this year I have spent many days working overtime; in some cases because there was no one else to do the work. One admin assistant resigned early this year and hasn’t been replaced and my agency had unexpected occurrences that upped the workload for me. However, I do know that I could have just let some things slide, worked on the must dos and allowed the when I cans wait. But, I didn’t do that. Was not wired to. Please note I am say was not…
And with my writing, while it brings me joy and I would do it, even if I never made another dime, I didn’t have to write or publish or participate in 5 books in one calendar year. No one but me is pressuring me to do those things. I also am going to have to learn not to open my mouth and offer my services so often, when it comes to personal relationships, work, writing, et al. I cannot be all things to all people and still be true to me. And I am working on that fervently…

Also, I have tried to do business with a bevy of women who are as busy as I am or moreso and truth be told we aren’t getting very much done. I have been told this has to wait or that has to wait or they avoid me like the plague for fear I am going to ask them if they did the so and so or the such and such. And when we do engage in conversation the first thing out of their mouths is how busy they are. And I know it to be true. What I also know is that we are getting nowhere fast doing all this stuff and multitasking is not working. And if it is it is working to the detriment of our health, our rest, our peace and our relationships. All of those things are falling by the wayside as we take false pride in having people tell how we got it going on, which brings me to a cautionary tale.

Yesterday, a young woman who I love dearly fell apart in my arms. She came and sat next to me, I looked at her and she started crying. Hurrying her to the rest room , to keep folk out of her business, I asked her what was wrong. She told me, her husband was going to leave her and probably take her son. I didn’t ask her why, because I knew. She is lovely, hair always coiffed, nails done, dresses beautifully, but she works too much, has a career that she places first before her family, she works on several local committees and is all over the place doing things. Her cell phoneS rings constantly, the back of her car is filled with work and she has three computers. Most days she walks in the house with food from this restaurant or that one and she often forgets it is there because she is doing the next task. She is a busy woman.

After she cried awhile I asked he what was she willing to give up. Her busy-ness or her man and child. She didn’t answer me at first and I know why. The poor thing had been taught and told she could have it all, be successful, beautiful, raise super kids, be married to that fine man of hers and never have to give up a thing. I am going to put myself out there like this and I don’t care, I really don’t what anyone says. BUT AS WOMEN WE CANNOT DO EVERYTHING. Sometimes we must chose and gasp, compromise. I know a mad woman or two is going to say why does women always have to compromise and not men. I say this, you don’t have to do anything. However, if you have decided you want to be married and have children, there are certain things that will come with that and it isn’t that deep. Your man and your children want and need your time and they don’t want to come after a job, or tasks or a phone or your family or your friends. They want to be a priority and if they aren’t, sometimes, you will lose them or they will make you miserable doing things to get your attention.

So, it becomes a choice. No one is asking a woman to give up a six figure income to stay home barefoot and in the kitchen. What is being asked is that we slow down, assess what is real and what is important. Do those things that provide for us, sustain us emotionally and spiritually and let others do some of this shit. We do not have to be that busy. We really don’t.

angelia

Not so funny...

My man and I suffer from the same malady, tough talk but real soft when it comes to those we love. We get a kick sometimes out of talking trash about how we aren’t going to do this, that or the other. Then do it…
Sometimes he will say, ‘Baby don’t do such and such, or don’t say such and such…’ and I listen to him, then he will come home and say, ‘Umm, baby, I did such and such…’ We laugh, because we both know we are suckas…that is until we stop laughing and realize we have been played.

Yesterday was such a moment, the man had put himself out over and over again on a situation…I had kinda-sorta warned him, but he didn’t listen…so I sat back, smiling, knowing the time was coming…and he ended up taking a shaft to his heart…I felt it with him…

But, you see that was one of those God lessons, because though we both knew and had talked bad, and laughed about it…we had not done what we knew we should have done and God decided to send that arrow straight to the soft, warm place where it could be felt and appreciated. Almost immediately we both knew it was time for some collective changes…
Time to stop just trashtalking…
And laughing…

And simply remove ourselves from the equation and allow God, life and experience to take it’s course…
Surely, we will be in the situation again, with another, because that is who we are…but dagnabit, we don’t have to get bit by the SAME dog, twice….surely!

BE THE PEACE YOU SEEK~
angelia

The LESSON in it~

2010 has been a year filled with Blessings! My faith is constantly reinforced, my marriage is strong, I get to spend time with my children and their child, work is good, I have published three books since January with a fourth coming in November and people are purchasing them. Not only that so many people in the literary community such as Tee C. Royal and RAWSISTAZ, Anjuelle Floyd, Yolanda Spinks of Booksand.net, Shelia Goss and more than I can even say have been so supportive, in ways I could not have imagined.
However, with the blessings come the lessons. I had to learn that sometimes you can do something with your heart in the right place and have it be the wrong thing. Lesson! Ouch!

I also learned that sometimes, even when others are saying no, we must stay on the track we are on. That is pretty much how I have lived my life. Praying, working and allowing God to work in my life. And every single time I do something different than that or allow other voices to replace God’s or my own, I stumble and get an Oops upside the head moment. Fortunately, for me God and the man I married have no problem letting me take it on the chin and feel the folly of my choices…then allow me to come to my senses and they never have to say I told you so…well God doesn’t…hah!

As I roll into a new year, I know that there will be more lessons to learn and more Oops upside the head moments, because that is how I grow. But I also know that I am going to have to learn not to be so eager to put myself out there so much when all the signs are screaming, ‘Angel, ummm maybe not…’ Double hah.
Just last night I was about to reach out and do a thing and it is almost as if my arm went rigid. I stopped, prayed, glanced at the man sitting next to me who winked as if he were reading my mind and I stopped. Lo and behold I got up this morning and found a message that corroborated that I made the right decision to not reach forth…Oh JOY, the lessons….

Be PEACE!

angelia

I'M HAPPY FOR YOU, BUT!

What does it mean to be happy for someone? To me it means that no matter what is going on in your life, you are happy when others do well and excel. Even when you arent doing so well yourself. Period. What I have come to discover is that there are a lot of people who say I am happy for you, but…

Which seems to mean, I am happy for you, but I wish it were me…

I am happy for you, but why is all this good stuff going on…for you…

I am happy for you but, I have to take back what I thought I knew when you told me your were going to do that…

Or, I am really not happy for your azz at all, but I feel I have to say I am…

This weekend I was thinking about my life and life of others that I love, at all the times we have been in the darkness, marching through the trenches, yet never gave up or stop believing that God would bring us through and when he does, we are almost mute in giving praise, because we know that those we want to be happy for us, or rather with us, really aren’t.

I remember when I first started writing, there were those who totally ignored the fact that I had even written a book…they received their copy (free), read it and never said a word to anyone…professing with their mouth how ‘happy’ they were for me…

I will confess here that I was hurt, because each time someone said, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t know you were writing books. I asked so and so about you the other day, and they never even mentioned it.” A little dart would hit my heart, because I knew that someone who I had given the book to and who claimed, ‘happiness’ had not even mentioned that I wrote books.

For a while I wondered why, mostly because when someone asks me about someone I care about or am happy for, I will immediately say, they are doing such and such or working here or there…or something.

But in time I came to realize that I would have to chart my own course, do my own thing and make my own noise. And I tell those in my life who are trying to do something, that they too will have to do the same. Because, mama, daddy, sister, brother, lover, homey, friend may profess ‘happy’ for you and they may genuinely be.

But, it will sometimes, be a very quiet, damn near mute happiness that will never pass their lips beyond saying to YOU, how happy they are. But soldier on, because what God has for you, no one can stop, my life and my writing is a living testimony to that….

BE YOUR OWN TRUMPET

Angelia
www.angeliamenchan.com

HAPPY 10TH ANNIVERSARY RAWSISTAZ

Four years ago when I published my first book, I started surfing the net looking for African-American book clubs. The first one that incorporated on my computer was RAWSISTAZ. I filled out the form and sent it forth and received, 'you are accepted.'

Well, I didn’t have a clue, was as green as the proverbial rainforest. In short order just by being part of the group, I learned there was more to writing a book than writing a book. Some of it was quite painful, particularly, learning how little I knew.

But there were so much more that was immeasurably beneficial. Tee C. Royal and many of the authors who participated in RAW4ALL, provided me with so much information on how to truly self-publish, how to market and mostly how to interact with others in the sometimes upside down world we call publishing.

Four years later, and I must say that Tee and RAWSISTAZ are still the most avid supporters of authors and readers in the literature game. They provide many services, such as Black Book Chats, simply for the love of the written word, they also provide honest, concise reviews that make readers want to pick up your book and read it.

Most importantly, they have gotten the word out to the community about how viable African-American literature is and has opened doors for other such entities to go forth and prosper. I simply want to say;

CONGRATUALATIONS, TEE C. ROYAL AND RAWSISTAZ , for opening the door for so many of us and continuing to support all writers and readers with integrity, professionalism and love of the written word. I sincerely THANK YOU for supporting me.

PLEASE LINK HERE FOR MORE RAWSISTAZ INFORMATION

WWW.RAWSISTAZ.COM

Angelia Vernon Menchan