EXCERPT FROM ZEN COOPER WOMAN-CHILD GHETTO-GENIUS

“Whoa baby girl, you need to watch where you going.”

Zen had been walking and reading, and not paying attention. She had walked smack dab into Crazy Charlie. Charlie Jones was a very tall, muscular ex-Vietnam veteran. Zen knew he wasn’t really crazy, but was playing a role. She wasn’t afraid of him. Charlie was part of her community.

“Sorry Charlie…” she grinned at him and he grinned back. He treated her like a little sister and everyone on the block knew not to mess with her.

“Girl what that you reading?”

He grabbed the book from her and was surprised to see what it was.

“Dang girl, that’s some heavy reading for a little girl like you. Seem to me like you would be reading romance novels.”

Looking straight up at him, she rolled her large eyes.

“Now Charlie, you know I ain’t got no time for no romance novels. I have every intention of getting up out of here and romance ain’t gon’ do it.”

He smiled. He loved when she tried to talk all slangy. It sounded funny to his ears.

“So what grade you in now?”

“I’m in the tenth grade…”

Shock and surprise showed on his face. He knew exactly how old she was and that she had just turned fourteen. What she didn’t know was that Crazy Charlie was her father. Her mama had told her it was someone else and he went along with that because he thought it was better. But he had always looked out for her and half of his ‘crazy’ check was placed in her mama’s hand each month. If anyone were to look really close, they would be able to see it. The curly hair, the Indian cast to the face, the height, but no one was looking. Not even Zen and that was a good thing. The name Zen had been his choice.

BOOK and LIFE ISH

I am up at 5 am, writing and having coffee, it takes me back 5 years when I was finished with Black's Obsession, was sitting reading it and did not have a clue what it all meant if anything....one month later I published it, unbeknownst to the world and here we are 10 books later and still growing...Who knew, only God, to be sure.

Because that first book of mine was an unedited mess, however, it was mess with a message that seemed to resonate with people, a message that Black men were about more than the media portrays, they LOVE, TAKE CARE OF THEIR FAMILIES, ARE EDUCATED...

That Black Women are honored, revered and are practically worshipped by their men, their children, those in their communities...

That it really does take a village to raise children;

More importantly, it was about humans, flawed people, people who make mistakes, have affairs, have same sex desires, go to church and still mess up, but while doing all those things they try to do better, become better, live better...it was a book, but much like life...

That is really all I set out to do when I started writing, tell stories about life...complex people with choices and decisions and who overcome and sometimes fall short.

I didn't have an idea of numbers or ratings or reviews and didnt care a hella lot, guess what I still don't. Because what I did was stay true to what I knew and know and tried to give the best product I knew how.

So every time someone purchases a book or books, asks me to a book club event, or to do something online or to show up and speak to someone, I am still surprised, pleased and feeling blessed to do so. Because I didnt plan any of this, I listened to myself, and mostly to God who has always said to me, 'My child, do your best, while believing on me and I will do the rest.' I am trying to be an obedient child.

LOVE AND PEACE!

angelia

BITTERSWEET

CHRISTmas is on of the bittersweet times for me. Sweet because I do remember the reason for the season, always. And I love shopping for my loved ones and cooking the traditional meal, the cook each year, ham, greens, mac and cheese, potato salad, cranberry sauce and my now famous coconut cream pies. Also, it should be a blast this year to see my granddaughter's face when she sees her gifts. As usual we will spend time with the kids, go to church and drive down to visit family. All good stuff and mighty BLESSED...

The bittersweet part is that I miss my mom and her funny, loving ways. The way after all was said and done, we would sit on her porch, Mench would be with his family, the kids off somewhere and just she and I would talk and laugh, and talk some more. Also that coconut cake was the best. Now I feel a bit lost, spending time with my aunt, sister, niece and all is wonderful, but a certain ummph is not there.

Spending time with my inlaws is also nice and they treat me like family, but that lady with the grey 'fro and the laughing eyes is irreplaceable.

By the end of the day I am usually happy for all that has transpired but glad the day is over...

I know I am BLESSED beyond measure, a big fine man who loves me, really cool kids, an awesome grand princessa and am able to do mostly what I wish to do...I just really MISS that unconditional, total love thang I shared with my Mama...Ms. Ora Lee...

LOVE AND PEACE!

angelia

I LOVE IT, I DO...

Last week, I went to Spartanburg SC to talk to Teen Mommies Read, my RAWSISTA, Kim Floyd had asked me if I would and I told her I would love to. Talking to young sisters is a passion of mine. Something I would do for nothing at all. Because what I know for sure is that if there had not been a battalion of women in my life who cared about me and my future, God only knows. I could see after talking to these young ladies; how much they knew, thought they knew and would have to learn. I also saw love, pain, inertia and uncertainty...I saw real live women-children who had become mothers much too young and needed someone to be as honest with them as they could in as loving a way possible. I tried.

So, although I know, {someone made a point to tell me} that it is just a little something and that I will not be around these girls on an ongoing basis, that will not stop or hinder me from doing what little I can. Because what I know for sure is that sometimes we can simply plant seeds and though it might look like the ground is not fertile and nothing will grow there, sometimes it does.

It has been years since I was a Job Corps counselor but every now and then, some kid who I said something to will send me a note, email, facebook message, saying how some little thing I said made a difference. And that is really all I am trying to do, not change the world, make anyone do anything...just strip myself bare naked and share what I have encountered, learned, experienced, messed up on and overcome. That is all...

Be PEACE!

ZEN COOPER: WOMAN-CHILD/GHETTO GENIUS, coming January 19, 2010.

angelia

THE SKIN I AM IN...

I developed a rather tough skin by the time I was thirteen, I was in a rather precarious home situation, a lot of things was going on around me that I had no control over and to deal with it I had to toughen up, not allow situations to mess me up...

Now by tough skin, I don't mean hard, things still touched my heart, I still cried when I was hurt, laughed when something was funny...but I learned to not let what people say about me or those I love, change the course of my life and for that narrow window of time, people had much to say.

I literally forced myself to walk with my head high and my sights on the possibilities of a life that lay ahead.

By the time I was fourteen, I had a job,in a fast food restaurant, yep,money was money baby...I went to school, made great grades, worked about 20 hours and week and saved ten percent. And the thing is this, no one was necessarily telling me to do any of these things. I KNEW, that if I wanted a life beyond what I could see, those were the things I had to do.

I can recall so many days I walked to work, rain or shine and the few nights I walked home down pine street, turning on to broadway, because that was the only way I could get to and fro. And I didnt allow anything that anyone said, to deter me.
I recall someone saying, I was working in a stupid job, a smiled and patted my real leather handbag I had bought with my own money that held my bank book...

I recall the people I worked with wanting to know more about my life, my family, our business...I had nothing to say, because I knew even then not to get down like that...

I recall leaving that job at 17 and moving on to another job with a scholarship for college classes, while still in high school and having Mrs. Jones tell me it was because I was smart and she knew I loved the skin I was in.

I am saying none of this to brag, but to inform that sometimes, no matter what our circumstances are, and I had plenty, my mom was in a relationship that consumed all her time, the place I was living consumed young people and turned them to lawlessness and the like,but I knew even at the tender young age that I was that I didnt want any part of any of that.

I wanted a life filled with work and respect and a semblance of honor, I wanted to be loved, but needed to love myself first, I wanted to be cared for but needed to be able to care for myself, I never wanted a man to say to me, 'If it were not for me, you would be nothing...' So Iworked, I presevered, I loved and believed in me and walked please to be in THE SKIN I AM IN...guess what, ain't nothing changed but the weeks on the calender...

Be Blessed!

LOVE'S MANIPULATIONS

I woke up this morning, praying and thanking God for how he has Blessed me. It has nothing to do with things, or never having any trials. Because there have been times in my life when I had almost nothing and the trials have been many. What I am thanking HIM for today is Love and being loved and never having too many expectations of anyone other than myself. I have never felt I had to prove my love to anyone by doing anything I didn’t feel was right.

I can recall talking to so many of my girlfriends back in the day who had sex with this one and that one. I asked why to one of them and she told me, ‘Because they say I would if I loved them…’ I can remember asking her, ‘Well if you loved them, did they love you and if they did where are they now?’ Of course, she had no answer, because what they were doing was manipulating her. Playing on the innate desire that people have to be loved. It has worked since the beginning of time.

And that kind of love manipulation doesn’t just play out in the man woman-thing. I see it at play in families. One of the things that used to really bewilder me about some of my family members was if they didn’t like a person, they didn’t want me to like them either. Well, sorry for that, I am a thinking human being and my liking or disliking a person was MY choice.

Then I see it with people telling their grown children who they should love, marry, have children with. I have seen so many relationships with real potential break down and fall apart because of meddling family members.If you see a family full of divorces, dig a bit,you are bound to find busy bodies. People who think they are looking out for their good of their ‘children’ when in fact they are simply trying to exercise their will. I often wonder if people even realize or understand how UGLY that is. I don’t think so, I think we are living in a culture where people are just downright meddlesome and they want things to go their way and they will do any and everything to make it so.

The if you love me you would syndrome…

Well. I will say if you love me you would leave me to make my own decisions, with the understanding that if I mess up, it is my mess up, the same as if I triumph, it is my triumph.

Me and my husband often talk about what has led to our marriage being a success and we count Love and faith, but, we both know that one of the biggest things was that we kept people out of our business and for the formative parts of our marriage we lived away from both sets of family. If we were broke, we were broke, if we argued we argued, if the kids misbehaved, they misbehaved and other than prayer and working together we didn’t discuss it hither and yon, we dealt with it in our home. Because we knew that talking to our families would just force them to take sides and once they did all of their mad feelings, based on what we had told them would rain down on our lives.

What we did was when one of our family members had something, anything, to say against the other, we put them on brakes, told them to mind their business, that it was our marriage and that we would not allow anyone to speak badly of the other.

I recall when I was pregnant with my youngest son, my husband went home to a funeral without me. I was feeling extremely pregnant and some kind of way. So off he went with my eldest son. I stayed in bed all day. When he got back, he told me my mom had confronted him. I was shocked, we had been married seven years by then and she had never done anything like that. I immediately got on the phone and called her, telling her to never meddle in my marriage and that if she had any concerns she should have called me. She apologized and told me she was sorry and that it would never happen again. And it didn’t and from that day forward as before, she treated my husband with respect because I would not allow her to do it any different.

I have said all this to say that if someone is meddling in your business, saying to you, if you loved me you would or disrespecting you or your marriage, only you can stop it…by not talking about it with them, not going to them with your mess, not making them feel they have any say and mostly by not compromising yourself…those who love you, really love you and want what is best for you will behave accordingly…

BE BLESSED!
angelia

GROWING WRITER-WOMAN

I had to smile this morning when I opened my email, there was one from someone who has Purchased and read everything I have written…it was asking when was my last 2010 book coming out. I smiled because I usually always have a book that comes out right around the end of the year.

Actually, my latest book last year came out in September, which was Mrs. Black? But the momentum from the book transcended time and was selling very well at the end of the year. It was a follow up to a series I had started in 2006, it was the feature of several book clubs and RAWSistaz had it as one of the holiday reading challenge books.

In previous years, Is NO Not Clear Enough for you came out December 1st 2007 and Schae’s Story: A Woman’s Transformation came out December 1st 2008, so I totally understood the question.

But, this year I am in a different place, have gone through sea changes and am not as compelled to force out a book because it is a certain time of the year. I am now in a place where I can take my time to write and publish books as the stories occur to me. I have absolutely no worries that if I don’t plunk out five books a year, the masses will forget about me. I have become more GROWN as a book writer and I know that those who wish to read what I offer as a writer will wait with and for me. And those I have yet to reach will be there also, because God has always shown me what faith brings.

I am forever GRATEFUL to those who have been there with me through all the books and supported me as I grew as a writer and as a person who writes. Every single day when I pray I give THANKS for that.

These writing changes are mostly indicative of how this year has allowed me to change as a person. I have spent much of my life, compelled to do and over do for anyone I love. This year has taught me that we can do and overdo to our own detriment and most importantly that because you do much does not mean the people will value you any more. I have asked God to intervene with me in those areas and to allow me to follow my heart and do that which is best, not that which is expected and though I have suffered some growing pains, it is occurring.

So as this year winds down and the new year cranks up, I am working on my own growth, as a child of God, a woman, a writer…and all things inclusive in that…

Be BLESSED!
Angelia