NEW Review for FAMILY, FRIENDS, FOES?

1 of 1 people found the following review helpful: 5.0 out of 5 stars Warm and Fuzzy!, January 27, 2012 By Folake Taylor "Author of The Only Way is Up" (Atlanta, GA) - See all my reviews (REAL NAME) Amazon Verified Purchase(What's this?) This review is from: FAMILY, FRIENDS, FOES? A Malcolm Black Novel (Kindle Edition) Yes! That's how I felt in the last few pages of this book, because it warmed me up. Like in one of my daughter's kiddie TV shows Ni Hao Kailan, this book made my heart feel super happy. Mrs Menchan has done it once again. You wonder where else she can take this story and once again, she takes it places you never imagined. I'll have to do a few quotes here: "Cinnamon Bun, you are a force. All the men who ever loved you still love you and every woman who loves them is mad about it." I definitely identify with that! Nuf said. "Sho is, you are a man and you have a veddy nice dingo." Can I say Angelia Vernon Menchan shocked me nicely with this one. She pushed the limits with conversation, life experiences and changes, etc. "Ma'am, I am a Christian, thus I say Merry Christmas. I have no issue with any other religion. As a very young man I studied Islam, for many years after that I didn't define my religious beliefs at all. In the last couple of years I gave my life to God and am vowing my Christian faith." Speaks for itself. '"I'm sure you will be an awesome mother. Are you planning insemination or natural?" Malcolm snorted and the young people remembered they weren't alone. "If natural are you vounteering?"' Bwahahahaha! Now for one of my favorite parts of the book where she shocked me again: Without thinking Cinnamon picked up her bottle of water and splashed his face with it before walking out. Looking up, she realized (blank) had just been doused with water by his angry (blank) and that cell phone cameras were flashing. Damn. I tell ya, like I said before when I first started reading Angelia's novels, Cinnamon is the woman we all wish we could be but don't have to nerve to be at all times, though some of us manage it at times. Teehee. My heart was literally leaping for joy in the last few pages of the book at how it all unfolded beautifully. Get your copy now!

A NEW WORK STARTED IN ME...

January 2012 is almost over and it has been a grand month for me. Perfect, not at all, but I learned a long time ago that perfection doesn’t exist in this life. I am sure there are some of you beating your heads about the wall now, screaming at me, “I am perfect, I want perfection, I am a perfectionist.” I pray fervently for you, I do. :} But while not perfect it has been so blessed in and amongst the trials. I turned a year older on the 19th, no sadness about aging here, just so glad to be here! I published my 14th book on the same day and this month has been a good month for Angelia Vernon Menchan books. It has also been a month of acceptance of already known truths. One of the hardest things for me is not being able to rely on a person’s word. I know there are always extenuating circumstances, but if every single time a person says they are going to do a thing, and they almost never do, then there you have it. I have had to learn to let them go away quietly, don’t make a big fuss about it, but find other venues and other ways to do a thing. I don’t even have regrets because the way I see it is, obviously the time wasn’t right for me to reap the way I am reaping in this season. So there it is. I have been on this book journey now for 6 years, today in fact was exactly six years ago that I published my first book and the road has been bumpy, not hard, not unfair, but bumpy. I had so much to learn and the biggest thing I had to learn was patience. There were so many mixed messages, with agendas. Sometimes I couldn’t see the pages of the book for the covers, you know akin to the flowers for the trees. Ha Ha Ha! Anyway, but the one thing I did learn is that every single bump provides a lesson as long as you are open to it. And I am going to say here again that I am led by God and not by man on anything and I truly believe that what God has for me, no one can block and I know what is necessary to do what I do, but I also knew to stay planted in how I was doing. The other day I was looking at the cover of my latest book designed by my husband and tears popped in my eyes, because more than one person had tried to encourage me not to use his covers, but to go with this one or that one and every single time I would almost listen, I would get this oops upside the head from God, saying literally, “What God had put together…” Nowadays Ican’t say how many compliments I get on the covers and in so many venues it doesn’t even matter. I have an ebook that has a generic cover and it sells, sells, sells because guess what, people actually want to read what I write, cover be damned. Oh what a blessing and a revelation to this woman. I am simply Rambling this morning because God has begun a new work in me and I am GRATEFUL, GRATEFUL, GRATEFUL… Be Blessed!

CHECKING OURSELVES...

Last night I was in a meeting in church and it started off beautifully, our chaplain stood, giving us a wonderful devotion about unity and what we say and how we say it, felt awesome, however in short order it was as though, she hadn't said a word. The WORLD stepped in the room and took over. Suddenly it was about personal agendas, an unwillingness to concede or agreee, the old guard against the new guard, et al. Mostly, I sat quietly, at times wondering why I rush to such meetings, when I know full well, how things are going to go... And then it hit me, because I always hope and pray for better...pray that we have checked ourselves and our agendas at the door before we get there and focus on what our mission is ultimately supposed to be about, serving God and be of service to those at our church. I came to regular worship, later in my life, I had been to church, but had never been enmeshed in church culture, because I had only ever heard that things like this went on, and of course I know that it is life and goes on everywhere. However, as such, I always check myself and my agenda, I have made sure that I don't raise my hand to serve on every committee, or lead this that or the other, because I know for sure that if I do, then it becomes about who sees me doing what and who knows who I am, et al. I have been writing books for over six years and it is only now that people at my church even know it because I vowed to myself that I would not use church as a vehicle to sell books. The ones that do know beyond my close friends are those that were told by others who read my books and recommended them. It is so easy to get caught up in church as a socializing venue and lose sight that the mission of the church is bringing people to Christ, so they might be saved. I may sound a bit self-righteous, but that isn't my intent. We live in a world filled with mess, just turn on the television or walk outside. And with things being as they are, we should be able to find peace in harmony in our church and in our home. I walked out of the meeting last night, thinking, I really don't need all this. But by the time I got home, I was pretty prayed up and I checked myself, realizing that I must soldier on, praying for change and trying in my very limited way to make a bit of a difference, I know for a fact that God places us where he does, so when can do what he guides us to do. BE BLESSED!

I GOTTA ASK?

Some of my best thinking happens in the shower, I wake up and immediately, I pray and read my scriptures, and by the time I make my way to the shower, I am wide awake and ready for thinking. This morning, I was going over in my mind why is it that one must ask for things, there is someone I went out on a limb for and every single time I need the person to do what they promised to do, I have to ask...what is that all about? Really... Then I thought it just must be me...some flaw in me that makes me have to ask... Last night I checked my phone and there was this message from a hometown local newspaper guy and he had received responses on a press release I had sent out and he wanted me to know that he was glad to have done it, and that he had been promoting me without me having to ask or send him anything. I told him that I would take out an ad in his upcoming release and he said, "Mrs. Menchan, you don't seem to get it that I truly support you and that if you want to run an ad, okay but you have run so many and it isn't necessary. You really don't have to ask for everything." Tears popped in my eyes, because if I were as honest with myself as I am with others I would have to admit that if feels like that sometimes. That if I don't ask or pay, it isn't going to happen. Now mind you, I know I have a do or die crew and they are all about me...but there are those times when I know deep in my gut, that unless I ask or pay, it ain't going down. Mostly, I am cool with all that because I was raised to pay my own way, not bite off more than I can chew or pay for and there are no free lunches, but sometimes, every now and then, that soft vulnerable part of me me, is poked and I feel it. And usually it is because of kind words like the ones spoken to me. Last week, I was talking on line with my super-supportive, daughter/sister/friend, Dr. Folake Taylor and she said, "Mama Deep, it seems that because we never say we are overwhelmed or need something people may think we are perfect." I told her at the time and meant it, "Baby, I will admit when I am struggling..." And I will, but it is hard as all heck to admit that to get something from those who vow to be down or on the team, I have to always ask...and sometimes I feel the burn of it... BE BLESSED~ angelia!

THEY SAID, I COULDN'T, SHOULDN'T, WOULDN'T

The other day I was asked the question, “Angelia, how did you know the publishing industry would become so viable for independent publishers?” I was honest and admitted that I didn’t have a clue. When I published my first book in January 2006, self-pubbers were considered to be just a step above, the low. There were many in the game who had started out publishing their own work, but their holy grail, pie in the sky was to get a deal with a publishing house. Frankly, that never occurred to me, at first, I simply wanted to write and then when I discovered that I could only write about certain things as a black woman of a certain age, I knew damn well, that wasn’t going to work for me. Did I receive flak? Heck to the yeah. There were those who thought I wouldn’t sell any books, there were others who basically said many things they thought they were covering up and then it was the comments about how narrative my work was, or how old my female characters were. Did I listen to them? I sure did to a certain extent, especially when it was about the craft of writing and how to truly self-publish, but the other stuff, I tossed over my shoulder and relied on my faith and me. The one thing I knew for sure is that if God blessed my dream of writing books, he would bless me as a traditionally published author or as a self-published. And he has, more than I can say here. One of the most interesting ways is that he often sends my naysayers my way, asking for assistance or asking to be part of it all. Do I laugh in their faces, oh no, not ever, that isn’t my way and any little thing I can do, I will because you know what, this thing isn’t at all about me. It is about the words and who they reach and what we can do with what we get. I love writing, I love publishing, I love being able to use a bit of the money I receive for causes I support, I love being able to talk to people about my journey and how green I was when I started. But the biggest thing of all, is I love owning myself, being accountable to me and my readers as an author and not feeling the need to be trendy or flowy because what I learned is that ultimately you can write the most perfectly crafted, timely book in the world, but if it doesn’t resonate with anyone, then…what! I thank God for allowing me to do this thing I do and I thank those who believed in me and those who didn’t because at the end of the day, it has worked out, and I AM COUNTING IT ALL JOY… Angelia!

WHAT IS YOUR BRAND?

What's your brand, what are you known for, stand for, what are you about? Do you even know? I consider myself to be honest, fair, overly concerned, very flawed, always trying to be a better do better woman, who will cry and cuss when mad. My mama thought of me as her say anything, whip my butt if you want to but I am going to tell the truth, very loved daughter... My man says, I have the biggest heart and though I may talk a bit of trash, I am usually going to give anything to those that ask... My sons think I can do most things and they know I am going to give it to them straight no chaser, while giving them or helping them get what they need. To my family and friends I am that ride or die woman who sometimes got to much trash to talk and make them mad cause I ain't agreeing if I ain't agreeing...and those that love me for it love me for it...those that don't, well, they don't...cool! There are those who find me to be too full of myself, conceited, arrogant, over confident, brash, etc. and I am going to come out that closet and say that somedays that is the unequivocal truth and I KNOW THOSE THINGS BETTER THAN ANYONE AND STAY IN PRAYER ABOUT THEM ALL THE TIME... My online family and readers call me wise, funny, the queen of honesty and truth...hah! At work they call me DivaGuru...double ha! And you know what, all of those and more define me and my brand, if you will, and over the past six years, since I entered this writing/publishing game, and a game it is, I decided I would stay me, give it the readers, the listeners and whomever else the unadulterated truth because at the end of the day, I have to live with this me... There are many who have been here with me from the beginning and I treasure them and there are some who found me to be too much of me to deal with and we parted ways, I treasure them too, because they taught me so much, mostly to stick to my guns and remain true to me, my integrity and mine and reaffirmed what I already knew that what God has for me is for me and I will have it or not have it based on that. I love writing, I love interacting, I have even developed a kinda sorta love relationship with the whole social network business and all I can say is I appreciate all the ones who stop to chat, listen or opine and I quadruple appreciate those who purchase, download and even share my books with others because it reinforces to me that the only brand I have is the ANGELIA VERNON MENCHAN brand and that works for me. To God be the glory, amen... Please Purchase my newest, officially available tomorrow: FAMILY, FRIENDS, FOES? The follwup to Mrs. Black? and The Blacks: LOVE'S Politics ebook: http://www.amazon.com/FAMILY-FRIENDS-Malcolm-Black-ebook/dp/B006VFJSN8/ref=sr_1_8?ie=UTF8&qid=1326913669&sr=8-8 Book: http://www.amazon.com/FAMILY-FRIENDS-Malcolm-Black-Novel/dp/1467510394/ref=sr_1_29?ie=UTF8&qid=1326913733&sr=8-29

HAPPY DR. KING DAY

When growing up in Ocala, Florida, I recall hearing so much about Dr. Martin Luther King, many people idolized him, and a few thought he was nuts, because they just were not wired to believe in the 60s that a Negro man could really make a difference in changing the hearts of a racist America. I loved sitting around listening to my aunts, grandmother and godmother talk about him and other things. These women had opinions about everything and were quite outspoken about it. My grandmother not as much as her six daughters and her friend, my godmother. Bi' mama as I called her was not worldly like them. She had always been a saved woman and didn't give in to much conversation about worldly things, but she had raised six very vocal, opionionated women and I loved listening to them. They always spoke about Dr. King with such reverence and admiration. I can clearly remember the spring day he died, I was wearing a burnt orange dress, with a white collar and was coming up to my grandmother's house and they were all crying, I had never seen that group of women cry, make people cry yes, but not cry and I knew something was way wrong... I was informed that THEY had killed Dr. King, the way THEY had killed President Kennedy. It was pure sadness and mourning on that wraparound porch. Years later, I remember the absolutely controversy about making his birthday a holiday and all the mean ugly things people said, quite openly. I was now a young mother and was saddened by the hatred. The most prevalant thing was about his personal business and how they tried to take away from the legacy by smearing his character. But what people failed to realize and still don't get is that me and many others really don't wrap our minds around what people do privately as much as we do to what they are about and what we can learn from their lives and the legacies they leave behind. What I knew is Dr. King fought for peace, equality and right-ness for all of us and that a lot of things I learned to enjoy and that my children and granddaughter take for granted was instigated and fought for by him and many like him. I don't iconize any man, but I do have admiration for those who are about fairness, justice and equality and are willing to DIE for what they believe in and for me DR. MARTIN LUTHER KING, was such a man and we would all be better served to have more like him, flaws and all. BE BLESSED~ angelia!

POVERTY MINDED

What stands in the way of many is not so much being poor, as it is being poor in acts and mind, what I call poverty minded. Poverty mindedness, leads us to believe that we will never have anything anyway, so why not spend our money on things we know we cannot afford. Let's eat three meals out in a week and pay as much as it would cost to purchase groceries for a whole week and then have to borrow money to eat until payday....POVERTY MINDED. Let's get our paychecks and go shopping, even though we know we have bills due, because when we look good, we feel good, yet we know we will feel mighty bad when we are behind on things and creditors are calling us or our utilities are off and it is cold outside......POVERTY MINDED Let's purchase alcohol and weed like it's groceries and wonder why we don't have anything....POVERTY MINDED Let's purchase cell phones and designer clothing for our babies and children, although we really have no place to live, not really, but we want our children to have everything....POVERTY MINDED Let's feel that if we cannot have the job we want, earning the money we deserve, we won't work at all, or if we do get a job, let's go in if we and when we feel like it, looking any old kind of way, and maybe they will fire us and we can collect unemployment.....POVERTY MINDED. I know some who read this will see it is judgmental and I promise to God it is not, but I have seen so many people who I love and know behave in this manner and they never get where they are going because they don't know that poverty of the mind and how we act are killing us... There really is a rather simple method to moving ahead... If you do not have a job, at all and you are offered a job that is legal, even if you dont really want that job, take it. I took a job a few years ago, that was temporary in nature that paid peanuts, much below what I had been earning and that job morphed into the excellent career I have today...honest to God and I didnt do anything that was particularly brilliant. I went to work ontime everyday, dressed and behaved appropriately, learned as much as I could about the current job and other jobs up the chain and planned and worked and learned my way to them. In ten years my salary was multiplied many times over...and I didnt sell out! So once you have that job, do what it takes to stay there and move up, and if there is no move up potential, work as if there is and always search for better employment, not leaving current employment until you have the other job. I promise you, you will improve your circumstances. Also, if you can't afford a home, you can't afford a luxury car, cars depreciate the minute you drive off the lot. So until you can afford it, dont do it. Move into a home you can pay for and drive a car you can afford and when you get chunks of money, like income tax returns, do something with them like pay off bills or save... And please, please, please don't go into debt with a bunch of ish, you wont even remember you bought. Also choose carefully who you tie yourself to, I can assure you that if you jump the broom with or live with someone who doesnt want anything or to go anywhere, it is more likely they will drag you down, than you dragging them up, especially if you loooooooves them and cant live without them. If anything I have said here is not applicable to you, please disregard, but if you know anyone who can benefit from it, toss it over your shoulder like so much salt and maybe it will season someone else... I TOLD YOU I WAS COMING STRAIGHT, NO CHASER, THIS YEAR, BECAUSE YA'LL KNOW I LOVE YOU, RIGHT... angelia PREORDER FAMILY, FRIENDS,FOES? A Malcolm Black Book

PROVOCATIVE WOMANIST?

Years ago on this very blog, Gwyneth Bolton called me a Provocative Womanist and I embraced that, because I guess anyone who is as honest as I am is provocative and I am passionate about issues that concern women, especially growing women. Because while growing women are being educated at ever increasing rates, they arent learning how to love themselves properly. Far too many educated, smart women are taking all kinds of madness to be coupled, in the pursuit of love and sex. They are laying down with men they know don't love them and who in many cases are openly involved with other women because they want to be held and loved. But baby girls, that isnt being loved, that is being sexed...and the two aren't the same thing. Even more disheartening to me is how much they are disrespecting other women, calling them the b word and literally fighting them in the streets and always feeling in competition with the next women, without realizing how much more respected we would all be if we were about listening to our sisters, being there for them, helping them in the things they don't know and learning from them the things we don't know. I watched my mom and her sisters and her friends and they were about each other. They collectively took care of the children and when one of them had a dollar all of them had a dollar. They fussed and cussed but never let the sun go down on the love they had for each other. I feel that way about my sister and my friends. We squabble and take rests one from the other, sometimes. But we pray for each other and together we laugh at our own shortcomings with each other and we don't stand for anyone bringing harm to the other. I have been in a few situation where drama crept in, and my first thing to do was try to make peace, when that doesnt work, I make haste and move on. I can love you from afar, but I dont roll with mess. We have too much to do, too many growing women,to teach, nurture, inspire and be models for and if they see us in our mess, how do they escape messiness. Even when writing fiction my goal is to CREATE provocative, flawed, women who mess up and have friends who hold them accountable and who hold the growing women the same. It is a cold world out there and sometimes, every now and then, we all need that sister, friend we can call and just be ourselves with and if we return that and they return that and on and on, it is so amazing what we can do and how we can raise these children of ours. So yes, Provocative Woman I am... PLEASE PREORDER:

YOU'LL KNOW WHEN...

I have been asked so many times, when do you know? If you are in love? If you should leave, quit, stay, go... And the pat answer is, "You'll know when..." And as much as non-answer as that is, you will know, whether you do something about it or not. See, that is the dilemna in most cases, people know and they don't have the courage or in some cases, the energy to make a decision, so they feel stuck. Scenario: He knows he loves her, wants her, would like to jump the broom, but his does not say a word. Because maybe he doesnt know how, or he feels a man doesn't do that or his boys may have him feeling some kind of way about it...and he does nothing. She leaves and he knows right then and right there, that when is now, he knows, but what he does is something else altogether. ################ Scenario: You have been on the job for years and years and people around you have moved onward and upward, you never applied for anything, yet moan about what has been done to you. You knew when those jobs were posted you should have applied, but maybe you thought because you had been there so long, you should have been given the job, but you weren't, but you still know when. ################ Scenario: She has done everything she could for them. Helped them get jobs, they worked a few weeks and quit, after the first couple, she knew when. But, their love and approval was tied to how the felt about her and she felt if she didn't they wouldn't love her and even when she did, they didn't...but she knew when. ################# Ever found yourself in a scenario like this, of course, most of us have. I found myself in one today, that I had washed my hands of months ago, right when I knew when. However, it lingered on and on, festering like that boil under the skin, that is infected and hurts every now and then but is bearable because of course some pain is just necessary, right? No actually not, I knew that what transpired today would occur and I should have sterilized my scalpel and lanced the boil, allowing it to drain, and then disinfected it, covered with a bandage, having it itch as it healed. But, no I was consumed with my role as caretaker and I allowed it to ooze out, dripping down my skin, slightly smelly,limping to the doctor,being chastised, given medicine and being told to, "Call me in six days, so we can see if it has healed." Well, I knew when and because I didn't act in as timely a fashion as I knew to do...I will have to live with that tiny scar. Having said that I know I will know when again and do the something similiar, and It won't be because I don't know when, but because I care, a lot... PLEASE PREORDER FAMILY, FRIENDS, FOES? A Malcolm Black Book