Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on amazon.com. You can access her bibliography on www.amazon.com search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan




Contact information:
Website: http://acvermen.blogspot.com
Email: acvermen@yahoo.com
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Tuesday, June 19, 2007

Polite..Who Me?

AM I TOO POLITE..?
Quite recently I was having a conversation with someone who I'd recently met and during the conversation the observation was made that I was so polite. I smiled inwardly at that because I thought to myself that I am pretty polite but this is obviously a person that does not know me yet. The reason for her observation was because I was talking about critiquing someone’s work. I did not feel comfortable doing so because while I felt it was good work I was not particularly feeling it. And this was personal not professional. Per usual my face must have shown my conflict and my words must have sounded politically correct. Thus the comment, “you are so polite”.I can assure you that if this same person had spoken to me twenty five to thirty years ago the comment would have been “oh my god I can not believe you said that”. I spent most of those years saying whatever came to my mind. As my elders used to say, if it came up it came out. I had a reputation as not giving a care what anyone thought about what I said you either loved me or hated me. I really did not care, I was keeping it real before keeping it real was real. However as I left my twenties and entered my thirties my life was different I was married, my husband was a career soldier and I was raising two sons. I realized that the impact of what left my mouth impacted more than me. It affected the man I loved, potentially the career that allowed me to purchase cute shoes and what my sons viewed of the world particularly females. Did I stop keeping it real? Hell no I just learned to pick my battles, I learned that you sometimes have to sit still and allow an expression or a look to send a message. Most importantly I learned that the impact of what I finally said was greater when I gave it some thought and considered what came out of my mouth. Not only that I learned that I did not have a thing to prove to anyone and I KNEW that often when I was just throwing my opinions out there I was trying to prove to the world how smart I was and how much I knew.Now at my age and with my experiences, I know that there are times when I just need to plain go off on some people and let them know right out the gate that this is what is. But I also know that if I can teach, guide or encourage by being careful about what I say that is probably what I will do. Now this only works for me, you know “you do you and I do me” and together we can all coexist. This does not mean that old “you can get more flies with honey cause who the heck wants flies”. What it means is that most days I will keep it to myself unless you ask for it. Now when you come to me and ask for it you will get it straight with no chaser. I don’t think that makes me too polite, just me choosing for myself as a grown woman how I want to keep it real and doing just that on my own terms.

acVernon Menchan

8 comments:

Yasmin said...

I was keeping it real before keeping it real was real.

hehe I heard that...love this blog...concur with you 110%! Isn't it nice to know that as we mature we don't have to fight every battle or comment on everything...shoot...we don't need to sweat the small stuff...and it's all small stuff!
xoxo
xoxo

Ramblings...acVernon Menchan said...

Lady Yasmin,
it certainly is small stuff, and I am a tired sista when it comes to proving to folks what I know...child please...these days I just wanna know me!!

Love and Blessings...
angelia

Idrissa said...

I love this blog too. Smiles.

I used to be the same way...always keeping it real until I realized that my keeping it real was sometimes another person's pain. So I learned to have what my mama calls; "shut mouth grace". Lord give me the grace to shut my mouth.

I was always trying to share my view based on my experiences...thought I was sharing wisdom.

Now? At 54; I am tired. Let somebody else deal with it. I just wanna be.

And as for critiquing another writer's work????? I am a book reviewer and if I can't say something good about a book; I try to say nothing (except to the author) because there is enough hating on our writers as it is.

Yeah. It might be good writing but just not to my liking. We all got preferences and I don't need to push mine on you.

Have a blessed day ladies.

Idrissa

Ramblings...acVernon Menchan said...

Thanks Idrissa,
Love that you stopped by...

Love and Blessings...
angelia

JC Martin said...

I have learned that I warn people not to ask me my opinion unless they want my honest opinion. I don't believe in sugar coat or chaser, I like to give it straight and head on. I prefer it that way. But I will keep my lips zipped and my opinions to myself because I can come off as a, well you get my point, without meaning to be one. I just have always spoke my mind. I mean no harm, but when I think that I am not harming anyone someone is always hurting behind something I have said or done. So the old saying is always befitting to my life: If you can't say anything nice, then don't say anything at all. That is exactly what I do. You are always sharing great wisdom, Angelia. Keep it up! I am learning.

Ramblings...acVernon Menchan said...

Jen,
Life is a learning curve and as we age we get curvier...he he he...

Love
angelia

Gwyneth Bolton said...

This is so true. I learned a long time ago that I don't have to say everything I think.... But folks should probably be prepared if they ask me what I think... Great post, Angelia!

Gwyneth

Ramblings...acVernon Menchan said...

smooches

angelia