Write On!

Are writers born to write? Some are and I know that I am definitely one of those people. I have always written, whether it was in journals, short stories…notes…I write…
The question is one that rolls around in many forums because I think people these days…equate writing with getting paid…fame and fortune…and when that doesn’t occur they figure…on to the next thing….
Now realistically, all of us expect to make some money from our writing if we actually publish it, but the reality is, most writers also have day jobs…because writing like music producing or any other self motivated endeavor can change on dime…today’s bestselling author can be tomorrow’s sales clerk…but…
Those born to write writers will still plug away…
When I first wrote a book, I heard so many say, “Oh girl, you are on your way now, better call Oprah”, or “I knew you when.”
Often I would scratch my head in puzzlement because as goofy as this may sound, I never thought about it like that…
I am a faith based girl…
I have always known that there were many paths for me to take…
Trails for me to blaze and honey I have blazed some…please believe…
But I knew and know unequivocally that what is meant for me, I will have…
No one, no where can take that which is mine…mama said it, I believe it…
I have not sold a lot of books in terms of some…
But I have always made money on the books I have written…
And I know without a doubt if it is intended for me to sell a lot of books…
Sell they will…
It has already been written…
I write what I want to read…what pours from my heart…
With not one eye towards what people will say…
Because I know that everything is not for everybody…thank goodness for that…
What I know is I have things to say to somebody…and they have told me over and over again that they want to hear it…
And for those I “Write On”…

angelia

Get some rest!

Taking time for self is the best medicine…
A few months ago I was talking to a co-worker and she asked,
“How do you stay so young.” I looked at her, unsure what she was asking…
Expounding she said, “Well you look ten years younger than you are and you are so young acting…” I thought about it for a minute then I answered.
“The young looking is genetic, vitamins, shea butter and my man (umm hmm)…
The young acting is all an approach to life…in my opinion living starts the day you are born and ends the day you die. I love life and approach it that way….” She looked askance, wanting I guess a better answer.
“Okay but you look so rested, you have a family, a full-time job, write books, review books and community service…” I felt a bit tired when I heard all that…Lawd.
“I rest. When I am tired I sit down, when I am sleepy, I sleep…it is quite simple. As busy as I am, I am never too busy to take care of me. Because what I know for sure is that if I don’t then I will be rundown, tired and unable to function. Most importantly, I have nothing to prove to anyone.” She shook her forty year old head as she walked away, looking tired. I knew her and her philosophy was to fill her plate with activities and ‘projects’ then wait for someone to tell her how wonderful she was and how much she had helped them. Child please, you better chill.
Work is to pay the bills…leave it there when you go home…
Get you something that fills your soul…for me it is mentoring and writing…
Find a spiritual place of refuge…for me it is my church…
Fill your life with loves and friends who are about something and are positive….
And when you get tired…rest…
Go into your room, close the blinds, soak in the tub, then crawl up under that comforter, say your prayers and go to sleep….
I promise you when you wake up, all that stuff will be waiting for you…and the world will not have ended…
And if I has…then it won’t really matter will it….
You will be refreshed and ready to take on what is out there…able to handle your business…looking pretty good while doing it…not a bad return….
Okay, I am going to take a nap now, but I will be back…
I promise….
Angelia

Bound or Free...

How are you bound? Are you free?
Folks always say they can do whatever they want to and say whatever they want to…
But how true is it, really…
In the world of writing…I see so many people bound by what is popular…
If someone says something sells…
Immediately some writers will jump on the bandwagon, forgetting what they wanted to say…
And try to say what everyone else is saying…
There is absolutely no freedom in that…
Then there is the mother who worked hard all her life…
Saved her money and is looking forward to her golden years…
However,
She has that one child who just can’t get it together…
Instead of allowing him or her to stand on their own two feet…
She is constantly doling out all she has…because someone…
Has told her that she is supposed to mother her child from the cradle to the grave…
No matter what it costs her…
Or how bitter or hurt she may become…
That my friends is bondage of the first order…
Or there is the relationship…
Where one partner feels it is their sole responsibility to make it work…
No matter what the other partner does…
Or doesn’t do…
They will hang in there and make it work…
If it kills them…
Because one day they will be able to look back…
And say, ‘I hung in there, no matter what….
I made it work’….
Well people in my observation…
These situations and others like them are the antithesis of freedom…
Or of living really…
We can all learn from what others have done or are doing…
But true freedom is knowing what talents we have and making them work for us…
No matter what is popular…
It is also saying no when we know no is the only answer that will allow those we
Love to grow and allow us to live…
Every morning when I wake up…
I promise to value myself…
And value others…
At the same time I promise myself that I will do things in the way…
That works for me and if there is an audience for my work…
They will be there based on what I can provide…
Not through someone else’s voice traveling through me…
I will also say no unless I absolutely want to say yes…
And will carry my own weight in my relationships…
And allow my loved ones to carry theirs…
angelia

Am I My Sister's (Brother's) Keeper

Yesterday I had a little time on my hand and I strolled hither and yon checking out blogs…
There seemed to me an ongoing theme…
African American literature and the responsibilities of AA authors for AA people…
One of the general themes was this…
When an AA author puts out a body of work…
It should be always be about uplifting the Race…
It should have meaning and depth…
And should never show us in a bad light…
Whew!
In my own writing I always try to write about us as I know us to be…
A sharing of my experiences and those of the many, many folks I have come in contact with…
Other than that I don’t feel a great deal of responsibility for the masses, when writing…
To show my responsibility…
I teach…
I tithe...
I mentor…
I embrace…
But when I write…
I simply want to tell stories…
Many always comment on the positive messages in my work…
So somehow I am getting that out there…
But I think that is because I live a positive life…
I would be hard pressed to come up with a deep down…
Melancholy book…
Because that isn’t in me…
On the other hand I will never be able to write a book…
That doesn’t speak truth as I know it…
If I sit down at my computer and start trying to pen a book…
That is only about uplifting and only showing what is palatable…
To some of my brothers and sisters…
I will never write again…
I probably would also become a mute…
So here is what I will do…
You have my word on this…
I will write about us as we are…from what I know…
Sometimes we will be beautiful…
Sometimes ugly…
Sometimes we will be nice…
Other times not so nice…
Some of us will live straight up lives…
Others will live more twisted lives…
We will love…
We will fight…
We will cuss…
And we will cry…
We will be straight…
Gay…
Happy and sad…
We will not be monolithic…
But diverse….
We will be all the things we are…
Unapolgetically…
It is the only way I can do it…
I love my people….
I just can’t be responsible for all of us…
All the time…

Love and Blessings…
Angelia
acVernon Menchan

Pubic Exposure...

When you are touched to speak, speak you better…
That has become the story of my life…it is as though God has grabbed my vocal chords and said, “Speak My Child…”
I have this absolute burning in my soul to say the words that have touched my heart…
And flow from my soul…
For years I thought I was supposed to keep quiet…
Not say what was there or what was true…
I guess I was caught up in the live and let live mindset…
What I have learned, is I did myself and anyone I could have assisted,
A disservice…
What I mean is that I have been blessed enough…
To work through and overcome so many situations…
And obstacles and that a part of my giving back is to expose myself...
And share with those who are open to hearing….
On Saturday night I did a speech that was geared toward youth…
But the emails I received were from adult women who felt impacted by
My words and experiences…
I lay awake that night churning, because I knew that while…
I was already doing apart of what my mission was…
I had really only begun…
And that I would have to risk…
Making people squirm…
And squirming myself…
Knowing that many would probably stay away from me…
But accepting that as okay because it would make room for those…
Who wanted to be there…
Yes I am intense…
Yes I do want things to go well…
No I don't like mess or messiness...
And am impatient with people not doing what they can do to live better lives....
Yes I do live a blessed life…
Surrounded by people who love and sometimes…
Spoil me…
But guess what I am willing to spread that love around…
Spoil a few worthy people…
Try to make a small difference…because you know what…
It ain’t about me…
I am a vessel…
Trying to live in the light…
And give back just a little of what has been given me…
AcVernon Menchan

This is in honor of all my young, spiritual sisters who are trying to do it all and often second guessing themselves and wondering how they can be spiritual, supportive, satisfied and hold it all down at the same time...mother feels your pain....I love you all...


Defining a woman…
How does a woman define herself, when trying to live in God’s will…
When she knows who does what…
It is easy to acquiesce to his success…
But how does a sister…
Pretend she is less…
When she knows it is a mess…
And without her it would be nothing but stress...
I watch all my young single sisters…
Who have it going on and on and on…
They are spiritual girls…
Who love the word…
And are constantly told…
They don't fit the mold…
When all they want is…
To grow old…
Wrapped in strong arms that hold…
However…
The reality…
Will always unfold…
And the truth is the house will be sold…
If she stops working cold…
Cause truth be told…
She is the only one who can’t fold…
So does she pretend it feeds her soul…
Praying all the while that there really is…
A pot of gold…

AcVernon Menchan

Gratefulness...

I am feeling extraordinarily grateful this morning...
For anothe weekend someone has asked me to show up and sell my work...
No hidden agenda...no payment needed...just come, read, have a glass of wine...sell your books...
I have to give thanks to God over and over again on this one...
When I wrote my first book and published it eighteen months ago...
I was clueless...and many who saw that hoped to horn in on my innocence...
A few tried to get their hustle on....rolling eyes and giggling....
But my stubborness, I guess and singlemindedness about what I wanted to do...allowed me to close my ears to it all, and just do what I had been blessed to do...
I don't force my work on anyone, have no expectations that all my friends will pluck down money...It aint even about that...I know the formula...
I simply have to pray, write and show up....
I am not burning up the bestseller lists...but for this sister, it was never about that...
It was about getting my words out there and having people read and appreciate them...
That has been my motto on most of my work life, show up, put in work, show them what's up...
While recognizing I am just a vessel, and as long as I pray, give thanks and praise while putting in work, I will always have something to be grateful for....
Simple math....

Love and Blessings
angelia
acVernon Menchan

Love Thyself...

It sounds so cliché when you hear ‘You can’t love anyone else if you don’t love yourself’…
I am going to go out on a limb and say…
It is truth…
I will even go on to say, ‘You can’t expect love if you don’t love yourself’…
I am always getting asked by women, ‘How do you do it?’
‘Your man loves you, your kids love you, your elders love you….what is the trick?
I simply tell folks there is no magic formula and certainly no tricks…if I could sell it I surely would…
But what has helped me is a healthy dose of self-love,
I knew early on that I loved me…
I have never looked for a man to fix me…
Thank you very much but God fixed me at birth…
The same holds true for my children…
I bore them, loved them, raised and disciplined them, most importantly I let them go…
When they were old enough to go…
It is totally unnecessary for them to hang around so…
I can define myself by how close my kids are to me…
Proving they love me by how needy they are…no thank you very much…
With my friendships…
I only deal with those where I can be a friend and
Have a friend…
If you give me the impression you don’t want to be bothered…
I count it all joy and leave you alone…
To me self-love means the ability to be alone…
And not lonely…
To revel in the time when it is just you…with you…
However, knowing that your loved ones are only a breath away…
And will be there when needed or wanted…
With the knowledge that you will respond in kind…
I think of last weekend my man and I were on a trip…
He was watching a tennis match on the hotel television…
I was curled up with a good book, ‘She Gone by Kwame Dawes’ wonderful book...
For hours we didn’t utter a word…periodically we would glance at the other smiling…
Finally he said, ‘Are you hungry’…smiling I nodded yes closing my book…
Much later we went out to get a meal…
Love and Blessings…
angelia