Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on You can access her bibliography on search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan

Contact information:
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Tuesday, March 18, 2008

Are We Commicating?

Communicating has been the buzz word for eons, years and years,
And truthfully anytime we open our mouths we are communicating,
But are we reaching anyone, is it having any impact…
Recently I was talking to an associate,
We were discussing philanthropy, volunteerism and reaching our intended,
She told me that for a while she had worked with an organization for young folks but she could never quite make it work for her, they weren’t feeling her communication style and she felt she had no impact,
She never felt she was really empowering or helping anyone,
She had found something she loved doing, and she told me about all the wonderful benefits she was gaining…I remained quiet, I wasn’t even going to go there…
Finally she asked me why did I think the young people related to me and my message...
I told her there were a variety of reasons,
Mostly they knew my heart and I spoke their language…
She wanted to know what I meant by that, did I mean some Black thing…
After giggling I told her NO, not at all,
Mostly that I talked with them, not to them or over them,
A lot of times with young adults we miss our communicating cues, because we seem to want to impress them with how much we know or how much we have accomplished and they turn cold…the big thing is when relating to youngsters we have to remember it’s not about us…she looked a little traumatized at that remark…
So I also told her many times it’s the words we use…
When going into a new venture, we should view it as assisting a young person, working with what they bring,
When we walk into a room and start throwing around words like Empower or Help…
Many will tune out at that point,
Because to empower indicates powerlessness,
And to help indicates helplessness,
And in many cases they may be powerless and helpless,
But they aren’t trying to hear what they already know…
To assist someone indicates that they already have something to work with,
And you are willing to, along with what they have to allow THEM move it forward…
She looked at me, saying, ‘That sounds like a lot of work, that’s why I have chosen to do something else.’
“That’s okay, we do what we do…the world is big enough for all of that.”



Anonymous said...


Yes, especially with youth it's a must to meet them where they are.

Most adults don't believe that young ones can't think in the negative either... I've been challenged on this many times... Like your examples with help and empower, don't and you shouldn't aren't relateable to them. They tune those out and miss everything you said. I've learned how to communicate with my daughter but I learned it all from her cause like you said, it isn't about me.

One who really has a calling to encourage our youth wouldn't so easily cast the idea aside if it seems like the youth 'don't get it'.

Great post!


Angelia... said...

Thanks G-Nice,
I have discovered that when anyone goes in to anything having to do with people if it isn't about the greater good, then they probably shouldn't do it. I was talking to someone yesterday who wanted my name and info out there about something I was doing, and that has never worked for me...I will publicize book stuff to a fare the well...but I don't need anyone to applaud me for anything that I am supposed to be doing, it's much like congratulating a parent for taking care of their children, duh...that's a requirement :)

Blessing, Smooches and Mad Love!


Gwyneth Bolton said...

Wow... I'm glad she decided to do something else. People always look at me funny when I give lectures on hip-hop across the country and say that while we need folks working with our youth, it's not for everybody... sometimes folks can do more damage than good. We need people who get it and can reach them... folks who can communicate ;-)

Great post sis!


Angelia... said...

Lady Gwyneth,
Indeed we do and to truly serve, we had better be willing to get ourselves out of the way...


JC Martin said...

Communication is the key to success. Even when dealing with children. If they cannot relate to what you are saying, they think "oh they are not talking to me." But as we all know we have use things they know to set examples, to teach them.

My children haven't made it to the their teen years yet. I'm watching them, observing their language and their body language. I may need it soon.

Angelia... said...

you are on to something there, they will tell you in nonverbal ways what's going on, communication is more than simply talking, many time it's listening and observing...