Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on amazon.com. You can access her bibliography on www.amazon.com search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan




Contact information:
Website: http://acvermen.blogspot.com
Email: acvermen@yahoo.com
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Monday, April 14, 2008

Leave 'Em With Some Choices...

One of the questions I get asked most these days,
Is does promoting abstinence work?
I tell people of course it does, but only if with all information,
I then patiently explain that what I am promoting is way more than abstinence,
I am promoting true Choices…
So many people get ‘Choice’ twisted…
Choice is more than choosing to say yes to certain activities,
But it is also choosing to say no to those activities that don’t work for you,
Or those you aren’t prepared to deal with,
Or that you just "Straight Up, Flat Out', don't want to do...
We live in an age where one in four young women have contracted a sexually transmitted disease by the time they are eighteen years of age,
In minority communities the statistics are even more startling and frightening,
I also believe that young people, men and women should be provided information about protecting themselves, from disease and unwanted pregnancy and by no means does this mean, make only your daughter responsible, boys are just as responsible or should be,
My sons were taught that the place to father children was within a committed relationship, preferably a marriage…
They were also taught that it wasn’t a girl’s responsibility to protect them from anything,
Many ‘religious’ parents think that providing information is condoning promiscuity,
Well they had better know that not telling them is condoning Chlamydia, unwanted pregnancies, herpes and AIDS, possibly early death,
Because if telling your children what to do and having them do it worked, then we wouldn't be having this conversation, now would we?
At a minimum it means missed opportunities,
And please don’t come at me with the,
‘If we did it they will to’…
That is probably the truth, but if we’d had adults who were willing to tell us the TRUTH,
And not try to sugarcoat and oversimplify things then maybe,
WE would have made better choices, valued ourselves more...
Because we pass down that which we are taught,
And if many of us are honest, I mean naked in the mirror honest,
We all know there are things we wish we’d had the courage to say no to!
Most importantly we are going to have to teach our young women,
That self-worth starts with self and that:
Male attention is not going to make you worth anymore than you already are,
And if you are asked to do anything that you truly do not wish to do the only answer is No, because saying NO others is saying Yes to You…
As I live and breathe, I know it’s true!

Love and Blessings,
Angelia

6 comments:

Gwyneth Bolton said...

Most importantly we are going to have to teach our young women,
That self-worth starts with self and that:
Male attention is not going to make you worth anymore than you already are,
And if you are asked to do anything that you truly do not wish to do the only answer is No, because saying NO others is saying Yes to You…
As I live and breathe, I know it’s true!


Co-sign! :-) Great post as usual, sis!

Gwyneth

Yasmin said...

In minority communities the statistics are even more startling and frightening,

Startling and frightening...1 in every 2 females between the ages of 15-24...and just because we ain't talking about it, condoning it, saying just say NO...doesn't make it not so...kids are having sex and we better recognize...sigh.
Great post!
xoxo

Yasmin said...

Oh yes and let's teach our boys that having sex and slanging seed...babies here and there and being a rolling stone don't make you a man...but you will have to pay child support! At least in my house you will!
xoxo

Angelia Vernon Menchan said...

Thanks Gwyneth and Yas,

Smooches,
angelia

Anonymous said...

Truth!

And it NEVER hurts to mention that we must make sure to incorporate physical defense skills when we are talking to our kids about sex.

I say this because with the increase in teen violence, I'm sure teen date rape and last-minute-no repercussions will increase as well...

AND

Some parents have this BIG idea that you have 'the talk' once with your kids. I know mine did. How much of that thought still lingers?

extremely awesome (and timely for me) post!

luv u

G-Nice

Angelia Vernon Menchan said...

That's it G-Nice parenting is work and as long as we act like quoting a few phrases or hoping they will do the right thing is not enough, we have to actually engage, and talking about stuff takes the illicitness out of it. We talked to our boys about sex and other issues all the time, as such they weren't always looking for some cheap thrill...scared parents make for scared, uninformed, unprepared vulnerable children, who become scared, uninformed, uprepared, vulnerable adults.

Love,
mama deep