Sometimes overlooked are the women who mother all the kids in their community whether they gave birth to them or not. I was community mothered and I am a community mother. My mom, Ora Lee gave birth to me, but a handful of women formed who I am. Mama Lee taught me to stand up for what I believed in and felt was right, even when others felt differently. I was allowed to have a voice so long as that voice was respectful. She would often tell me, ‘Speak your mind, but don’t forget who the mama is!’ To the day she died, she always made me know she was proud of me and my choices.
My Aunt Elouise taught me that hard work and financial integrity takes us a long way. Her mantra was to wake up early, get the work done, because that left more time for play. Also, that anything you purchased should be paid for and early. Finally, my godmother, Ms. Eva, was my role model for loving and nurturing children that we didn’t give birth to. All of the kids in the community were welcomed into her home. We sat at her feet allowing her to read to us and tell us stories of her extremely interesting life. She also was a realist, understanding that young people would always make mistakes and they needed a safe, loving place to go when they colored outside the lines.
I have found myself to be a community mother as well. I gave birth to Maurice II and Malik, however, my nieces and nephews are also my children. I find it my absolute responsibility to chastise them when they go astray and to applaud them when they do what they are supposed to do. The same has been true of any child I run into who needs an ear to listen, a heart to love or a few sharp words to correct. As a community mother I believe in tapping into those gifts a child has and working with them to hone them and when they find it, reminding them that to get anything done, they have to follow the credo, ‘Don’t talk about it, be about it.’
Wouldn’t the world be a better place if we truly lived by the concept of it taking a village to raise a child and community mothered those, most in need. Oh what a legacy, indeed!
Love and Blessings,
angelia
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/
Is No Not Clear Enough For You?
30 comments:
Yes Mama Deep, we would save more young people if the village helped to raise the child.
For the record you're a community mother miles and miles away, because you have mothered me more times than one. I appreciate you for that. I love you for being so giving.
Hey Jen,
Thanks for saying that Sweetie, I try to practice what I preach...
Blessings,
angelia
Yes, Yes, Yes!
It truly takes a village and that is lacking now. You sent me down memory lane as I think about all the mothers in my neighborhood that had a hand in kicking my butt, patting me on the back, and steering me in the right direction.
G-Nice
That is exactly what I mean G-Nice,
So many people are afraid to get involved or take a chance on reaching out, until we got over that fear...well you know what's up!
Love!
angelia
Yes, sis. Mothers and "other mothers" are what make our communities strong. There used to be a time when this was more prevalent, when folks took the "other mother" role seriously and looked out for other folks children with as much care and concern as they did children who came from them. I love that you brought in the world "responsibility." That's what we need to bring back, the level of responsibility and commitment that folks used to feel toward all children, no matter who their mother was... Great post!
Gwyneth
Thanks Gwyneth,
we do have a responsibility, we can't simply make it someone's else's issue, because in this day of declining graduation rates, and inclining violence rates someone, even if it isnt a biological parent has to say and do something. It is very necessary!
Thanks and Love,
angelia
I find myself raising more than the three that I have. I am still in church swatting with the fan, those who can't be still or be quiet. I have gained the reputation of being the one to counsel the litle ones. I still believe in "It takes a village to raise a child." Just yesterday my neighbor's son called her from my driveway by yelling "Get over here!!! Now you know what I was thinking.....Cynthia(Rockledge, FL)
Hey Namesake,
thanks for stopping by, we have to do what we do. The best times of my life are those unexpected phone calls I get from those hard heads of other mothers, I have had to Jack Up a time or two...
Smooches,
angelia
I tribute who I am today to the strong women who stepped in and helped guide, direct, steer, encourage, empower, and most of all do it with loving and open arms!
I salute them and hope that one day others can say the same about me. (Actually I'm always pleasantly surprised when someone says I'm there role model!)
Angelia, thanks so much for being apart of the Every Day is Mother's Day Tour...your blog is very touching and I hope others stop by to read it!
xoxo
You said a mouthful. I remember growing up when the whole apt. building we grew up in all the women in it were our mothers. If I was bad I got a whomping from this community mother then got another one when my mother got home...LOL
It does take a village to raise a child and today we need that back!!!
I am delighted that there are still community mothers as I was raised by many. With the rash of crimes happening in many cities across the country we as mothers need to commit to doing just this. I take pride in knowing that I am a community mother to many. I am a mother to the children of my sorority sisters and every organization that I belong to. I truly hold them accountable and for that, they respect me.
Thanks Yas, Sharon, Tomika,
all we have to do is reach out to one, who then can reach out to one...and on and on...
blessings,
angelia
Can't say it enough .. I love your blogs more each time I read them. You can tell who the community moms are no matter where you go... I guess that would be me.. I share custody of two nephews with my Mom, how took care of four cousins after their mom died... it's generational.
Thanks Angelia :-)
'cilla
I'm not a mother but I agree with what you said...
Amen!
This is awesome, Angelia! It brings back so many memories. Reminds me of how it was when I was growing up. I didn't dare do anything wrong without the news getting back to my house before I did. *lol* I wish we could all get back to this community mothering / responsibility. We desperately need more of this today! Thank God for women like you who keep that part of us going!
Well said. Very nice blog. I see you are following in the tradition of your community mothers.
Hi Angelia,
Very nice blog. What the world needs now is more community mothers. "It takes a village to raise a child."
You wrote:
Her mantra was to wake up early, get the work done, because that left more time for play.
Say that! "Do what we need to do so we can do what we want to do."
Wow, Ms. Angelia, I haven't been by in a while, but I'm glad I didn't miss this---thanks to Ms. Carleen. This was wonderful. Thank you for that. :*)
I truly appreciate everyone who stopped by, Mad Love and Appreciation...
God Bless,
angelia
Great post, Angelia. I like that term - "community mothering." My kids' friends and always knew that our house was a place they were welcome, even if I came downstairs after midnight and they were hard at a video game duel. As long as they checked in at their houses, they could stay at mine as long as they liked.
Thanks Niambi!
angelia
This is my first visit. I was sent over by Carleen. I will be back to visit. Thank you for this wonderful post.I don't have any childeren of my own, but I had a hand in mothering my younger brothers and sister. My mother use to joke that I might as well had been my baby sister’s mother because I was alway after my sister to study and to act right.
I mother the college students I work with. I feed and comfort and my much younger friends at work and those starving artist in my writer community.
Even if we don't have childeren it is still our responsibity to mother those who need it.
Thank for this great post.
Thanks Lefraya,
and you are exactly right, most of the best community mothers never gave birth, my Aunt Elouise being a perfect example of that...
Bless you for what you do!
angelia
Well, Angelia you have said it wonderfully again. Sorry it took so long for me to comment, but I have been crazy busy. Anyhow, I think that even in today's day and age we have to be responsible for all the children we come in contact with. That is harder to do considering not everyone appreciates the community's help, but nonetheless we are still responsible to teach and love the children we come in contact. Sometimes it is the ones who are not ours that need it most!
Thanks Ingrid,we have to plunge on!
blessings,
angelia
Community mothering offers hope and fosters faith...thank you for the wonderful post!
Too bad it isn't like it used to be. Sometimes folks will go off on you if you say something to their child.
Angelia, you are so very right, only wish we could go back to that day when the community was involved with our kids and looking out for them because it still holds true today it will take the villiage to help rasie our youth of today but whne we all figure that out thanks for that tribute and my hat off to you for being a community mom.
Tina A
Bring back some of those good old days when you knew all eyes were on you because they cared and you mattered. Kudos to you Angelia!
T
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