Today I sat in my office, surrounded by pictures of my family...and wrote some truth,
I wrote about a time in my life when I was thirteen years old...old being the operative word, because I was considered always to be on of those old souls...
It was so funny, because, I wrote quite dispassionately and removed,
And reading over it, in some cases I am sure popular opinion is that I should have been horrified,
Mad, bitter, unable to move on...yeah in some cases it was that serious...that bad...
But I didn't feel any of that...I just felt good, good that I am here,
That I have the man I have, the kids I have, the life I have...
And able to acknowledge that GOD had me, even when I didn't know it...
Because he was saving me for something...
A young woman in my life sat next to me tonight on my sofa, love you Shanieka...
One of my long time mentees....well actually she has been emancipated, but still comes to see,
Mama Deep...
She read through RAMBLINGS...it is only eighty pages...
And she thanked me for doing it, for being real, for literally RAMBLING and exposing myself on those pages...I smiled at her because I knew it wasn't me...if I could have not done it, I would have not done it...but I had to...
There are so many things that have to be said,
And someone has to say them and it seems that I am one of those to say it...I smile because today my counterpart in my Regional office called me for something, I told her where to get it,
And it wasn't from the expected place,
She laughed, telling me she loved me,
I was a bit puzzled and she told me,
"I can alway count on you to just say it, you are cut and dry and get right to it."
I told her I would try to do better next year, because I had meant to be different this year, but, had already messed up...
She begged me not to...telling me she needed me to be just the way I am...
It wasn't true any way,
All I know is what I know and for whatever reason, GOD has decided, that I should share it with somebody, somewhere...
Back to what I wrote today, the time is going to come for me to share those dark years, the years that should have taken me out...but actually made me stronger and ready for all this...
Whatever it is...
Blessed!
angelia
PURCHASE RAMBLINGS @
WWW.ANGELIAVMENCHAN.COM
7 comments:
Great post and you know a lot of us find the wisdom in your words just in the nick of time.
missumadly
G-Nice
Loved your post and I feel the same way many times. I LOVED Schae's Story
Angelia, your words are blessing to others. Continue to let God use you.
It's a message needing to be told, and someone is needing to hear it. But the thing is you can't tell it before it's the right time. They say wisdom comes with years, but sometimes it comes with the messenger in due time.
When the time is right.
I don't know if the posts comments got mixed up; you had two today 2/3and my first response was to Truth Telling. Anyway,I sent you something to write for Black marriages and relationships.
Thank you All...
I have to it seems, expose me to assist someone else...
Love!
angelia
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