Unconditional Love is one of those phrases that are so beautiful, speaks of the kind of love GOD has for all of us and most parents and children have for each other…
What it means in it’s purest form is that no matter what one does, the love will always be there…you are my child, my mama, my daddy…
What it does not mean is this…
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS NOT UNCONDITIONAL CONDONING…
When a person loves another person unconditionally all it means is the love them no matter what and places no conditions on them to continue the love…period.
It does not mean, you can treat someone any kind of way and because of unconditional love they will allow it…
It does not mean that the unconditional lover will cosign on you madness or finance your indiscretions…
No sir or ma’am it does not,
In fact if they love you unconditionally, every now and then they will love you enough to allow you to be responsible for your own mess and stand on your own two feet…
It really concerns me, how many elder parents are so bound up with feeling that conditional love for their children mean something it does not,
Allowing grown children to live with them rent free, while driving around in nice cars,
Or paying child support for sons while they are unemployed and sleeping all day,
Or placing houses on second and third mortgages to pay bail or bonds, a second or third time, that is not love, that is enabling bad behavior and raising a generation who feels the world owes them something…
This in no way says that we are not to assist our folks in need, no not by any means,
That is a part of loving someone,
However, loving someone to your detriment is not love is martyrdom,
And will leave you sad, bitter and feeling unloved yourself…
Both my kids will tell you, I have gotten them out of some things…the first time,
However, a pattern of behavior will leave them with choices to make…
That is what grown folks do…and I know better than most that going through something,
Will prepare you for something else…
My loved ones will also tell you this,
That if I have gone through anything,
I was already through it before they even know about it,
If they ever know about it,
Because though I know they love me unconditionally,
They are not responsible for my mess,
And are not expected to cosign on my madness,
That is up to me….
Love and Blessings!
Angelia
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Angelia Vernon Menchan
Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published eighteen books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than forty ebook novellas on amazon.com. You can access her bibliography on www.amazon.com search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan
Menchan has also published the work of seven other authors to date and has several publishing projects upcoming in 2013 to include a children's book, Little Wing by biologist, Erin Gawera, Honorable Menchan Poets 2013 by Dictator, Genesis and Creammy Mocha and a breast cancer memoir by Lena Jordan.
She is becoming a sought after speaker for young women audiences because she speaks honestly, straight and open to the issues that plague them such as teen pregnancy, the importance of education and making life impacting choices.
Kim Floyd of Real Mommies Read, a part of the Spartanburg Public Library says:
Angelia's ability to help our teen moms see themselves as she did was a special gift. She instilled within them a desire to make better choices, take control of their bodies and their lives. They realized their pasts didn't have to determine their futures. Angelia let them know their worth.
Mrs. Menchan is available for speaking engagements; book signings and discussions. She resides in Jacksonville, Florida with her husband and graphic designer, Maurice Menchan
Contact information:
Website: http://acvermen.blogspot.com
http://honorablemenchanpromotes.blogspot.com
Email: acvermen@yahoo.com
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679
4 comments:
Jesus' love and a mother's love are the two best examples of what I call unconditional love.
Shelia,
you are exactly right, however, I see so many mother's overwhelmed by their grown children, because the mother's feel that unconditional love means doing everything for their kids...no matter what...
Love!
angelia
That is so true, you can't confuse unconditional love with enabling. Sometimes you need to exhibit tough love.
Loving your self unconditionally is a good place to start learning about unconditional love.
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