Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on amazon.com. You can access her bibliography on www.amazon.com search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan




Contact information:
Website: http://acvermen.blogspot.com
Email: acvermen@yahoo.com
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Monday, February 2, 2009

UNCONDITIONAL LOVE?

Unconditional Love is one of those phrases that are so beautiful, speaks of the kind of love GOD has for all of us and most parents and children have for each other…
What it means in it’s purest form is that no matter what one does, the love will always be there…you are my child, my mama, my daddy…
What it does not mean is this…
UNCONDITIONAL LOVE IS NOT UNCONDITIONAL CONDONING…
When a person loves another person unconditionally all it means is the love them no matter what and places no conditions on them to continue the love…period.
It does not mean, you can treat someone any kind of way and because of unconditional love they will allow it…
It does not mean that the unconditional lover will cosign on you madness or finance your indiscretions…
No sir or ma’am it does not,
In fact if they love you unconditionally, every now and then they will love you enough to allow you to be responsible for your own mess and stand on your own two feet…
It really concerns me, how many elder parents are so bound up with feeling that conditional love for their children mean something it does not,
Allowing grown children to live with them rent free, while driving around in nice cars,
Or paying child support for sons while they are unemployed and sleeping all day,
Or placing houses on second and third mortgages to pay bail or bonds, a second or third time, that is not love, that is enabling bad behavior and raising a generation who feels the world owes them something…
This in no way says that we are not to assist our folks in need, no not by any means,
That is a part of loving someone,
However, loving someone to your detriment is not love is martyrdom,
And will leave you sad, bitter and feeling unloved yourself…
Both my kids will tell you, I have gotten them out of some things…the first time,
However, a pattern of behavior will leave them with choices to make…
That is what grown folks do…and I know better than most that going through something,
Will prepare you for something else…
My loved ones will also tell you this,
That if I have gone through anything,
I was already through it before they even know about it,
If they ever know about it,
Because though I know they love me unconditionally,
They are not responsible for my mess,
And are not expected to cosign on my madness,
That is up to me….

Love and Blessings!
Angelia

RAMBLINGS VOLUME ONE - 7.95
Available @
http://angeliavmenchan.com/Books.html

4 comments:

shelia said...

Jesus' love and a mother's love are the two best examples of what I call unconditional love.

Angelia... said...

Shelia,
you are exactly right, however, I see so many mother's overwhelmed by their grown children, because the mother's feel that unconditional love means doing everything for their kids...no matter what...

Love!
angelia

Dera Williams said...

That is so true, you can't confuse unconditional love with enabling. Sometimes you need to exhibit tough love.

Linda Moses said...

Loving your self unconditionally is a good place to start learning about unconditional love.