Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on amazon.com. You can access her bibliography on www.amazon.com search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan




Contact information:
Website: http://acvermen.blogspot.com
Email: acvermen@yahoo.com
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Wednesday, January 6, 2010

WE'S MARRIED NOW~

Marriage is work…
Oh what a revelation,
Which might also might explain why there are so few that last,
Because we live in a microwave, instant message world,
And no one wants to wait for anything to happen,
And we for darned sure aren’t trying to put up with anyone’s mess,
Well in marriage there is a lot of mess,
To be sure,
When I got married,
I didn’t have many female marriage models,
My mom wasn’t married,
One aunt was dead,
One aunt divorced,
One never married,
One widowed,
And one married for over fifty years,
But amongst them I never heard how to be married,
I heard much, ‘A man will be a man…’
Kind of stuff,
And I also saw, savvy-hardworking women who could do much,
So I decided that I would figure out this marriage thing based on me and my values,
I vowed to stay married,
Work through it,
And it was hard, damn hard at times,
In the early years it seemed I did all the work,
Raised the kids,
Worked part-time jobs and got some education,
Felt so one-sided,
BUT,
I was married to a hardworking man who provided well for his family,
And LOVED him some me,
No matter what we went through and we went through a plenty,
We worked it out,
We didn’t call our parents,
We didn’t talk to our siblings,
We didn’t go to our friends,
When we were broke,
We were broke together,
I remember that first couple years before kids,
On the night before payday we created meals out of nothing,
But no one knew but us,
Once we had children and were doing better financially and the kids were driving us nuts,
We dealt with that quietly also,
It was our family and our business and that is how we dealt,
Because something I knew innately is that everybody didn’t necessarily have our best interests at heart and I wasn’t going to spend time trying to figure that out,
Instead I would use that energy on my marriage,
I also inherently knew that there was no such thing as a 50/50~
Umm ummm,
Marriage is giving all you have,
All the time,
And sometimes my man only had twenty percent,
Therefore I had to come up with eighty,
And there were the days when my twenty was all I could give,
And he had to put in eighty,
And even with all that we still wanted to saddle up and leave at times,
But we didn’t,
Because what we both knew is that the devil was a liar,
And we were in it to win it,
And one of the best lessons was that marriage wasn’t about him,
Or about me, it was about US,
And thanks be to God we had an US mindset,
I can remember so many women saying they couldn’t be married to the Army,
My husband was a soldier for twenty-two years,
I told them and meant it,
‘I am not married to the Army, I am married to that man who is in the Army…’
The same way he is now married to a woman who writes books, works a full time job and has a gang of other stuff going on…
If you want that man or that woman,
You are going to have to put in work,
Now I am in no way condoning madness,
If you don’t love the person,
Want to kill them,
Or they don’t love you and want to kill you,
There might not be a whole lot that can sustain you,
Well GOD can but that is another blog for another day,
But if you do love the person and is willing to put in work,
Along with lots of PRAYER and understand that nothing lasting is built overnight,
And that there are no crops without lots of rain,
And that sometimes,
The rain is the result of a storm,
And that there are sometimes even when you want to shout from the rooftops,
You have to be really quiet,
And when you want to cuss,
You have to pray,
Or if you feel like spitting,
You need to go outside,
And know that everyday is work,
But the past ends at midnight and if you woke up this morning,
You have time to get it right,
You just might be able to be married~

Love and BLESSINGS~

angelia

10 comments:

Shelia G said...

If I ever get married, I know who to call on for advice.

Angelia... said...

Call and I will answer, you have my word!

angelia

Anonymous said...

getaclewis
about 2 hours
Just wow
I am SO giving this to some dear friends of mine who are marrying for the first time in less than three weeks. Beautiful, beautiful, wise, wise... so very YOU. This should be published in a zillion different places and made into plaques and greeting cards and more. "Trust Life's unfolding..."

Angelia... said...

Thanks my SKIRT Sister~

angelia

Anonymous said...

Hey Big Sis thats a mouth full but so true..... some of us it takes longer than others to figure out that you have to b 2 people wanting the same goal serving the same master. Been there but is so thankful that now that I am older wiser and stronger can learn the diff in what GOD want...

Funny my word for day was
Every woman has needs. But many of us are guilty of looking to other people to meet them-especially men in our lives. Too often we expect them them to meet the needs that only GOD can fill. And then we are disappointed when they can't. We expect too much from them when our expectations should be in GOD.
DID I EVER TELL YOU>>>>>>>>>
LOVE you to death you are an inspiration...... Val

Angelia... said...

I LOVE YOU, SISTER OF MY MAMA~

'Cilla said...

Inspiring as always !! :-)

Angelia... said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Anonymous said...

Charlene Ross
29 minutes
I agree with Cheryl Angelia
Great post. Beautiful writing. So very, very true! I especially loved... "Marriage is giving all you have, All the time, And sometimes my man only had twenty percent, Therefore I had to come up with eighty, And there were the days when my twenty was all I could give, And he had to put in eighty" Truer words were never spoken. Yes, marriage IS work - but so worth it in the end.

LaShaunda said...

Excellent!

This is something to give to those just getting married and those who think the marriage is over.

It is hard work, but it's worth it if you have the right partner.

Angelia I so enjoy your wisdom. Thanks for sharing.