Angelia Vernon Menchan

Angelia Vernon Menchan is an author, publisher and public speaker who owns two publishing companies, MAMM Productions and Honorable Menchan Media. Mrs. Menchan is also a Budget Officer and former Job Corps Counselor. To date she has published twenty-three books of her own work, both fiction and non-fiction and more than eighty ebook novellas on amazon.com. You can access her bibliography on www.amazon.com search words: Angelia Vernon Menchan




Contact information:
Website: http://acvermen.blogspot.com
Email: acvermen@yahoo.com
Phone numbers: 904 714 2272 904 303 2679

Tuesday, March 23, 2010

BLOWING SMOKE~

Sometimes we act as if though we say something enough times it is true…you know what I mean, you get fired from a job you really loved and you tell everyone who will listen, ‘It was just a job for me, I didn’t really want it…’ umm hmmm…
Your man or woman dumps you because you were messing up and you know you are in love with them, so you say…”Shoot, I didn’t really love him/her anyway, she was too full of drama, or I didn’t dig him anyway, he didn’t even have a good job…’ sure, sure, sure…

That could all be true, but mostly it is ‘just blowing smoke…’ and the only one you are fooling is you…when you know it is when you sit down, all alone and think about how you were living before you messed up that job…and wishing quietly, no matter what you say out loud, that you wish you had done this that or the other…
Or you see her riding through the hood, hair flying in the wind as you wait for the bus, or see him opening the door for his new honey, while you stare after them as they take off down the road…

Blowing smoke…

It is absolutely cool to admit to yourself that you messed up, and then to focus on not doing that again, and when around others it is okay to say nothing if you are lying…if you are in pain about something, just quietly pray about it and stay mum, because saying it ain’t so, don’t mean it ain’t so…
I remember when I published my first book..it was like having a third child…I loved that book and all it stood for..and the first time someone said something negative about it, it stung like salt in an open wound…I can remember the exact words, ‘Your writing is too narrative, and your sentences run on and I cannot stand to read all that stuff…’ whew…but you know what, I didn’t pretend like it didn’t bother me, it did…so I chose to listen to advice and try to step up my game and learn as I go…ironically, and life is always full or irony…many, many of my readers say that is their favorite book…hmm hmm…be that as it may, I didn’t try to fool myself or anyone in to thinking I didn’t care about something I cared about, because the realness is, that when we are all alone and the crowd is gone and we have done all we can do to convince people we didn’t care…we mostly do…

So acknowledge caring, don’t try to front, however, next time around step up your game and handle your business…it will free you from BLOWING SMOKE~

BE THE PEACE YOU SEEK~
Angelia
www.angeliamenchan.com

2 comments:

Shelia G said...

Admitting we messed up--to ourselves especially, can be one of the hardest things to do. We'll get offensive if anyone dares point out our error. I think blogging has helped me fess up to my mistakes--although some lessons are harder to learn than others :)

Angelia... said...

Sister Shelia,
It is hard, but once we own it, we can relax~ we dont have to confess anything to anyone just God and ourselves~

xoxox
angelia