People are so presumptuous, I am utterly amazed, time and again by how many people who think it is their God-given right to weigh in on what other grown folks should do…amazed…case in point, I have friends and family who think that what I do or don’t do with my hair is their business…is I grow it long, there are those who think I should cut it short, umm hmm because they think I look better with it short, if I cut it short there are those who genuinely think I need them to tell me it should have been left longer or I should have cut it even shorter…umm hmm, a few months ago I tried to loc my hair, it didn’t work well and frankly I didn’t like how I looked, so I said, ummm noo…immediately there were suggestions of add hair and make it work…no thanks…that is most def, not me…can’t see paying for hair when in six months I can grow several inches, to each his own…you do your thing, I got me…then here is the one that slayed me, someone said, I just couldn’t stand being ‘natural’ HELLLLLOOOOOOOO, are you kidding me, I have not had a chemical anywhere near my head in 22 years…now natural do I need to be, or is the fact that my hair curls of it’s own volition, not seem natural to those whose hair doesn’t…come on people…
Then there are those who felt it was thier business to take exception because my grandbaby calls me Nana instead of grandma, they felt it actually had something to do with them and they took it upon themselves to say, ‘there is nothing wrong with grandma…’ are you kidding me, when did what goes on between me and my grandbaby become anyone one’s business other than ours and her parents…surely people have more to do than be concerned about that…
Now I got to get to my church folk, so many feel they should tell the Pastor what to preach how to preach and when to preach, not only that, they have determined that how the Pastor’s wife dresses is their personal business…are you serious?
The presumptuousness of people is too much for me…I truly don’t care how people wear they hair, what their husbands or grandchildren call them, what the Pastor preaches as long as it is true to the Word of God is okay with me…people really need to get them some…business…to be sure…
Angelia
14 comments:
So true... People don't have tact anymore. They think their opinions are dominion. WOW!! Then they have the gall to get mad when they're put in their place.
Angela,
I am astounded by it, each time, though I should not be, it is one thing if someones asks, but if they dont...umm...shhhhh
xoxo
angelia
I'm so happy that I tend to stay to myself. I don't want the unsolicited advice. I think I have enough good sense to do what works best for me through trail and errors.
I remember one girl, I hadn't known her but for a couple months and she precede to tell me how to raise my third child. "That car seat you have is the wrong one," she says. I ask "How old is your one son?" "He's 5(at the time)." "Oh, ok, so let me do what I do. My oldest is 12 and my middle child is 8 (at the time). Don't ever tell me how to raise my kids. I'm at what I do."
Sure did have to check her. These people are so out of line with their need to impose upon someone else with their hang ups and should dos.
Jen,
it is so true, but the truth is I wouldnt talk to people who I actually love and enjoy otherwise...strangers arent saying these things, but people I know...this morning I really needed to vent because I get tired of it sometimes...there is an immense need for people to tell others what and how to do and in many cases it just keeps folk from dealing with their own stuff...there are people who actually get incensed with me because I am not always asking and telling my grown children what to do ...I figure if something is going on, they will tell me...or not...xoxoxo
I had this supervisor who got mad when someone had a personal problem and she gave him what she believed was the solution. He got huffy and countered back, "If someone comes to me with a problem, I am going to give them a solution." SMH. He was venting. She was good for giving advice when she wasn't even part of a discussion and she just jumped in.
The funny thing is she did not always give out good advice. And she balked when folks gave her advice. Ugh!
Shai,
good scenario, though I think in my case, it irks a whole bunch of folks that I go my own way and do my own thing and allow others to do likewise, I have a whole lot of business, which leaves me with scant amounts of time for anyone else's...
angelia
I like to vent. Sometimes because of my intensity, folks freak out. I am learning who to talk to and who to ignore.
I learned a long time ago, most folks don't want advice, even when they ask(usually just a co-signer). Funny thing is most folks I know quick to give advice are quick to ignore advice given to them.
I find it funny how folks jump to conclusions, don't listen and then berating or pushing you to do something. Then they get mad when you correct them or don't listen and make it like you have a problem not them.
It seems the more you stray from what others expect, the more they are quick to give you a talking to.
And OLD best friend comes around now and then and he feels he needs to tell me my life is not natural(for being single and loving it) and that I need to do X, Y, Z. He still looks at me as the teenager back in the day. He has never asked if I am content or happy with my life. Crazy.
Shai,
I find the last part of your statement so interesting...so many people who have spent short periods of time with me assume I am still the girl who left home at 18. I once cried easily...now at over 50 it tickles me when people feel they can make me cry about something...too funny...
angelia
What is funny how they try to use what you have admitted or done in the past to sucker punch you. And trip when you counter with the present truth.
Crazy thing is when I was a teen, if I had taken his advice then, I would have been in a real mess. I had discernment back then and I am glad I followed my instinct.
Shai,
it's funny u would say that, a couple of years ago someone made the comment, 'They don't know you...' I had to say, "neither do you..." other than a weekend here or there, the person had spent no time with me in over thirty years but their knowledge of me was based on that...that is much the same when people get saved...so many want to remind them of how they were...God forgives and cleanses...angelia
I just don't like when the saved act funny about the non-saved and like they don't know how it was to not be saved. Humility. Like the woman who acts like she has always been holy and then berates the same behavior she used to do way back when.
I had a relative point out how I was in my 20's. Then I said something about her and another relative said to me, That was then this is now. Defending her but laughing when the same was done to me. SMH.
Shai,
it is a two way street, I think what gets confused is that part of being saved is witnessing...however, once you have told a person, then you move on, you dont berate them or try to embarrass them...but like all people, saved people are flawed as well...
I think people try to tell you how to live or give their advise to make them appear important. I generally just smile and keep it moving. Sometimes telling them off only gives them more fuel to add to the fire.
great food for thought Angelia :-)
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