What does it mean to be happy for someone? To me it means that no matter what is going on in your life, you are happy when others do well and excel. Even when you arent doing so well yourself. Period. What I have come to discover is that there are a lot of people who say I am happy for you, but…
Which seems to mean, I am happy for you, but I wish it were me…
I am happy for you, but why is all this good stuff going on…for you…
I am happy for you but, I have to take back what I thought I knew when you told me your were going to do that…
Or, I am really not happy for your azz at all, but I feel I have to say I am…
This weekend I was thinking about my life and life of others that I love, at all the times we have been in the darkness, marching through the trenches, yet never gave up or stop believing that God would bring us through and when he does, we are almost mute in giving praise, because we know that those we want to be happy for us, or rather with us, really aren’t.
I remember when I first started writing, there were those who totally ignored the fact that I had even written a book…they received their copy (free), read it and never said a word to anyone…professing with their mouth how ‘happy’ they were for me…
I will confess here that I was hurt, because each time someone said, “Oh my goodness, I didn’t know you were writing books. I asked so and so about you the other day, and they never even mentioned it.” A little dart would hit my heart, because I knew that someone who I had given the book to and who claimed, ‘happiness’ had not even mentioned that I wrote books.
For a while I wondered why, mostly because when someone asks me about someone I care about or am happy for, I will immediately say, they are doing such and such or working here or there…or something.
But in time I came to realize that I would have to chart my own course, do my own thing and make my own noise. And I tell those in my life who are trying to do something, that they too will have to do the same. Because, mama, daddy, sister, brother, lover, homey, friend may profess ‘happy’ for you and they may genuinely be.
But, it will sometimes, be a very quiet, damn near mute happiness that will never pass their lips beyond saying to YOU, how happy they are. But soldier on, because what God has for you, no one can stop, my life and my writing is a living testimony to that….
BE YOUR OWN TRUMPET
Angelia
www.angeliamenchan.com
6 comments:
I think I've realized that I have to be my own biggest fan. People are dealing with their own mess. Or busy talking about their themselves, their spouses, kids, significant others. So I don't even expect it to be on their priority list to toot my horn - unless I'm one of those people to them. If they do, its a bonus and I love them for it! If they don't, it wasn't expecting it and I still love them anyway. The only person responsible for my success or happiness is me.
You can tell when the but is coming by a facial expression or even for what's NOT said. Their "but" feeling however is their problem because it's something they have to deal with and who knows maybe it'll kick them into pursuing their own dreams instead of trying to put a damper on yours.
@Readinghaspurpose, how right you are, but what I know for sure is that we all, well many of us really do want our horns tooted by those we love. I have learned not to expect it, but I would be lying if at first I wasnt 'wanting' it...
Shelia,
let us pray it is so...
Smooches!
angelia
As in Shae's Story, Jamal's mother was happy for him but the issue she had with Cinnimon prevented her from expressing it. Sometimes we are so caught up in our mess we are afraid to celebrate other's success or progress.
@Threadingalong,
that is exactly right and we learn as we go...
Hey Linda!
I am proud of you and I tell everyone I know about your books... :-)
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