PERCEPTIONS

I am fascinated by perceptions. When I talk to people about my books it is always so interesting to hear what their perception is of what I wrote. And, how those perceptions are so different from person to person. Also, the perceptions they make of me as the writer based on what I write. I cannot tell you the number of folks who have asked me if I am lesbian because some of my characters are, or if I have a husband and a man because one of my characters did, etc.

"Umm, NO, it is fiction my dear..."
"But the characters seem so real, ring so true..."
"Thank you very much, but it was just my imagination once again, running away with me..."

I recall my first book was filled with umm language (cussing). I was writing in the voice of a brother from the hood, who had made good and he cussed. When I would go out on signings or discussions people were first surprised to see I was a woman and then that I looked so conservative and didnt lace my conversation with expletives. Ha!

The next three books had little cussing but there was some sex, actually, in Cinnamon’s Universe there was much sex…I could see a few wondering if I got down like that!

Then, I changed the game and wrote a young adult book and a couple of non-fiction books, and other fiction that was different in tone than the others, but still in my voice.

The other day I was talking to a reader who has read all my books and she said, “I can always tell a book that is written by you, but I never know where you are going to go or in what voice because you write genre-less.”

I took that as a compliment because I really do want readers to know me when they read me, but I don’t necessarily want them to have preconceived perceptions about future work, because I am bound to go anywhere with my writing.

The same is true of me as a person, I ask that people get to know me because there is a lot going on in this 5’10” frame that from day to day might be different than what is perceived. I love when I meet people who look one way or act a certain way but when I get to know them, there are so many more layers going on than imagined.

That makes people complex and mad interesting. And that is what I try to do when writing, give you people that are complex, different than expected and mad interesting.

Love and BLESSINGS!
angelia

www.angeliamenchan.com

WHAT THEN?

Yesterday I arrived home a bit tired. Had been on travel all the previous week, the weekend flew by on wings and Monday was filled with paper and red ink after not having been at my desk in ten days. Walking in I knew there was enough food for dinner, so my goal was to sit very still for a bit and watch a bit of television.
Usually my TV drug of choice is court shows /news programs but yesterday I decided to go the lifetime, chick TV route.

In doing so, I happened upon Basketball Wives on VH1. I had heard about it, knew the premise, several lovely wives, girlfriends, fiancés of Bballers had gotten together and created a reality type show based on their reality as women in love with ballers.
Before going in I knew the women would be lovely, dressed in designer wear, jeweled and such. However, I was a bit surprised that they weren’t all late teens, early twenties, many were on the far side of 30, and lovely nonetheless.
So I watched with fascination, there was much wine drinking, talking about the men in their lives who had left them, cheated on them, left them penniless, et al and even some of the men were there for my perusal. Mostly there were lovely, mostly, Black and Hispanic women being mean to each other. Lots of talking behind backs and the like, also, a few fisticuffs and much cussing and use of the F word. Ummph. Pure mindless entertainment, right?

After watching it, I wasn’t so sure, all I could do was wonder, what is the message being sent to young women and what and how do these lovely women see their futures. What happens when they are no longer young, beautiful and nubile? What then?
Many of them have money from their X’s and businesses of their own, but what happens when the shine wears off and the next crop of beauties come along. In their quiet moments do they think of this? It sure did make me think, of all the young lovely girls who are smart but because someone has told them how beautiful or fine they are, they aspire to the finer things in life through the men they meet.

I have seen this play out so many times. In their twenties and thirties, the men line up in droves wanting her on his arm. He will even spring for baubles, rent, nails, or just straight up cash. But, somewhere along the way, usually as she ages, he or they are no longer around or interested and in many instances she is left wondering what happened or filled with enough regret to fill an oversized designer swimming pool. What then? Is she comforted by the memories, the stuff she has accumulated or is she left wondering how things would be if she had made different choices?

Angelia

TIMEOUT

There are times in my life when I take self-imposed time outs. And right after my birthday on January 19th I took one. I was so tired, as tired as I had ever been. 2010 found me so busy, too busy to even think. One of the admin assistants gave a week resignation and bounced. Shortly after that I started working as a financial liaison for the oil spill, in addition to my other duties and I took it upon myself to write and publish four books in twelve months.

Not only that I just didn’t feel good. I would get up at 430 in the morning, go through the motions, go to work, write, serve, do what was expected of me and do it over and over again, BUT my quality of life was suffering. And after a year of pushing, my body screamed stop!

After January 19, I could barely move. I went to the doctor and she told me I was clinically exhausted. Duh! And though I had a book, ZEN COPPER, Woman-Child that had just come out, I didn’t even have the energy to promote it. People were calling and asking when was the book release, book signings, all things that I automatically do, but God knows it wasn’t in me. I honestly said, “I don’t know…” I didn’t.

Not only that there was turmoil at church and people I loved were struggling and I was trying to do as much as I could. But the vessel was tired and weak. Depleted!

Fortunately and blessedly, those who always support my work, continued to. And I love and appreciate them for it. Because Zen was a labor of love for me, however, because I love me more, I knew it was time to just sit still. And I did. I changed my work schedule, I stayed off line, mostly and I worked on shoring up the vessel. Also, I prayed myself through the spiritual turmoil and kept my eyes focused on God instead of people and that storm is also abating.

I am still tired but I am healing, getting myself to where I need to be, realizing that being all over the place and trying to be all things to all people is good for no one. And that what God has for me is for me and that taking a timeout is simply good sense, because there is a time and place for all things.

Not sure when I will get back out there and on the road. Might not even do it this year, but here is the thing, God has blessed me to be able to make the choices that are best for me and for that I am grateful.

Angelia
www.angeliamenchan.com