Disassociation...

I have struggled with this post for several days,
But since I couldnt shake it, I figured may as well put it out there,
As many of you know, most of my conversations and insights are with and come from young people,
A few days ago one of the young people in my life asked me,
"Why don't poor black folks and middle class black folks get along, even within families."
Damn!
After swallowing down a lump, I said,
"There are many reasons, with I think FEAR, being one of the bigger ones..."
"Fear of what..." This child was working me....
"Fear of association, fear of judgement, fear of many things. So many middle class Black folks are only a generation and a couple of paychecks from being poor and that is what makes them afraid. Also, when negative images are splayed all over the news it makes them afraid they are going to be associated, thus the disassociation."
"Well, it sure does feel like a dis, most of the time."
"What do you mean?"
"Well at school, the upper girls look down their noses at us, and sometimes when we are out, I see the women look like that at my mom." I felt her pain down to my very bones. "Was it like that when you were young?"
"Not so much, but there were some divisions, but what helped most, was where I grew up we all basically lived in the same neighborhoods, Drs., Lawyers, Funeral home owners, lived a few houses down for postal workers, janitors and maids. So there was more of a sense of community. Now we are more divided by addresses and zip codes so it does appear more divisive."
"What stops you from being like that?"
"Like what?" I knew damn well what she meant, I was stalling.
"All upper-acting."
"Baby, some would say that I am. But the simple truth is that I choose my associates by their hearts and actions not by the size of their houses, the cars they drive or clothes they wear. I tried to raise my kids the same way. Not only that but my family runs the gamut, some have much and always have, others have less and always will, and to disassociate myself would in many ways mean to not be with my family, that isnt an option for me. I will say, however, that I don't tolerate nonsense and don't buy into victimization."
"Oh, okay..."
"What brought this on?"
"I was just thinking about it. I see both sides. I live in the hood, around mostly poor folks, some good, some not so good. At school, I am around more uppers, some good and some not so good. And I know that it's a person by person thing."
"You are absolutely right and as long as you keep that in mind, you should be okay when you become all upper." Smiling at me, she nodded.
Out of the mouths of babes...

Love and Blessings,
angelia