The power of what we say manifests itself in so many ways...
I have wayyyyyyyyyyyy too many conversations with folks about why some do and others don't...
One of the most frequent ones are about young people...
Which leads me to think of my progeny...my sons and my niece...
They are the coolest people, and my heart soars simply thinking about them...
They, all three were and are a handful in their own ways...
But they are cool people...awesome...
I am often asked how is it possible that my mother, who only has three grandchildren could have such great ones...educated, honorable, in their twenties and no children they can't care for...travelling, soaring, growing...
And I tell them all the standard stuff,
But a lot of it, was what was SPOKEN to them...
And what they were allowed to SPEAK...
We always talked with them, not to them...
We allowed them to have opinions and to voice them, respectfully...
And we said words to them that made them know they were some kind of special...
The Sunday before Christmas I sat at dinner with my husband, my sons and one of my sons girlfriends,
My eldest said, 'Mama was tough, had high standards and would bring it when necessary, BUT, she always,
Listened to us, allowed us to speak and even when she didn't agree with us, she would tell us why. It was never just because she was the parent." I couldn't even speak...
On Christmas day those three young adults and my niece were sitting outside my aunts house...
I walked out to listen, they immediately engaged me, they were talking politics,,,who they were going to vote for and why...we bantered, argued, agreed and disagreed, then we segued to music, I felt honored to be in their presence...and so glad that at twenty-two, twenty-three and twenty-eight they wanted me there...I didn't stay long...but I did not leave without telling them how awesome I knew they were...I loved seeing their faces wreathed in smiles...
So it isn't the only answer, by a long shot...but we can allow words to embrace, to chastise, to correct and to love our children, because simple words, such as I love you, I value you, you are so cool, SPEAKS VOLUMES...leaving young people with a legacy, the world can't change...
Blessings,
angelia
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/
6 comments:
I love this! It let's me know that i'm doing and speaking the right things to my daughters. It also let's me know that when my babies say "mommy you are so cool" they mean it from the heart and will always want me there.
Ms. A your beautifully and wonderfully made!!!! Have a Blessed Day!!
Thanks Msyonnie,
the words you have SPOKEN hit my heart!!
Bless You...
angelia
True! That's the same way I am with my lil ones.... though it's rough water when a teen has SO much of an opinion...lol Most times, I listen to her but there are times when I tell her to just hush and think about what she is going to say...which frustrates her but then... we return to the conversation and she can articulate her opinion in a better, more respectful way...what a LONG road it has been.
That's the way to raise up STRONG young men and women. I have no doubt that my daughter is gonna be a helluva woman... if momma can't get away with it, then no one can...lol
My sons will be the same but they're still young... but even when my son wants to discuss how he could fly faster then superman...I listen, we talk about it...i even bought him a cape, and you know what... he IS faster than superman and kryptonite can't touch him...lol
Your family sounds like my kinda peeps! And they have to be cool, cause ur cool!
G-nice
Thanks G-Nice,
and I am sure your daughter's mouth has nothing on how mine was, my mama had to muzzle me more than a few times, but she always listened to me, eventually and talk about opinions, my sons, Lawd!especially, Young Deep, my youngest, he would take me there...often I had to laugh when I was done straightening him out...nowadays he is one of the first people I call when I need it 'Straight No Chaser', yet lovingly...he keeps me on course...
Love You Sweetie,
mama deep
This is so true. I'm amazed at how many folks hold back these kind of affirming statements from their children. Some people never had it themselves. But I think it's so important. And by letting your children voice their opinions in a respectful manner, you are getting them ready for success in the world. They will know the proper way to stand up for themselves and their beliefs. Great post as usual. Words are powerful, and you have certainly proven that! ;-)
Gwyneth
Thanks Lady Gwyneth,
I so appreciate you...
blessings,
angelia
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