HOPEFULLY...

Last night I watched the BET Music Awards, I hadn’t viewed it in a while for a number of reasons, in fact I had chosen not to watch many of our music awards shows because for years it seemed to be about something other than the music,
However, last night it felt like it was about the music again,
I enjoyed performances from most of the artists and there was a wide ranging choice,
Al Green, T-Pain, Maxwell, Alicia and Marvin Sapp….
What I most enjoyed was that it seemed to me the audience and the artists were having a good time,
There were pure looks of joy on the faces during the performances,
There was much dancing in the aisles,
Singing along and surprise appearances of a cadre of artists joining other artists on stage,
I can’t really define why that felt good to me,
But it did and I asked my husband, who said he felt likewise,
Maybe it is indicative of all the change that is afoot,
Better changes for all of us,
An exhaustion with the inability for us all to just get along,
Perhaps we are ready to at least try to coexist peacefully,
Realizing that the universe provides an abundance for all of us,
We simply have to show up and receive it with gratitude and thanks,
Maybe I’m over simplifying or naively optimistic,
If that is the case,
So be it,
I will choose to ‘Keep Hope Alive’…

Love, Peace and Blessings,
Angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com

Getting Back Out There...

I have been on siesta, a rest of sorts,
And I still need to be a little bit still...
I wore myself down to the bones...
However, the good thing that has come out of cleaning off my commitments,
And slowing down, is I'm writing again...
Finished Schae's Story: A Woman's Transformation,
And am about a third of the way into, a new book tentatively titled:
Mrs. Black....shhhhhhh
Tonight I am going to do a signing/selling event at
A fashion show, Dangerous Curves,
I am looking forward to getting back out there,
Exposing myself and my work to those who haven't heard,
It also feels good to be doing something because I want to,
Not because I have to,
2008 has truly been a year of change,
Not necessarily easy changes,
But good, growing ones...

Love and Blessings,
Angelia
www.angeliavmenchan.com

Having Heart...

Yesterday I was sitting in church in my hometown of Ocala, Florida…
It was father’s day and my husband and I were there to honor him and his father…
Good men both,
However, the pastor’s sermon probably resonated more with me than the men in my life,
The pastor spoke about having ‘Heart’…
Not having Heart is the kiss of death with young folks,
When a young person tell you, you don’t have heart, take it from me, you have summarily been cussed out…
The sermon was more along the lines of having heart for something,
In this case our faith and worship,
The most poignant part of the message for me however was when he spoke about,
Being a football player in the mid seventies at a small college in Alabama,
And all the egregious things he heard and witnessed,
He expounded on how he saw his coaches run a team member practically to death,
Then when he was used up, they kicked him off the team,
He discussed how this impacted and changed him,
He recalled how the coaches called him in at a later date,
Saying how they had noticed a change in him,
Telling him, that while he was still a stellar, ball player and team leader, etc.
They could see a change in him, something about him was different,
He simply answered,
“I no longer have the heart for the team…”
His words rained down on me…
Because I have been there a time or two,
Working my butt off, getting accolades, commendations and promotions,
But going home at the end of the day exhausted and not understanding why,
Yesterday I saw it clearly,
It’s because sometimes we are doing everything we can to excel,
Be the best,
And we are reaping rewards that feel like ashes,
And we wonder why,
I have come to the conclusion,
It just simply might be, we no longer have the heart for it!

Love, Peace and HEARTFELT blessings,
Angelia

http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/

Listening to the Youngsters

I had an opportunity to converse with four young writers,
They were all between the ages of twenty and thirty and I had never spoken,
To a more honest, open, funny or real group,
Not only that they are so in tune with making their own opps,
Not being at all concerned with what the naysayers are saying,
And most importantly understanding that they have room and time to grow,
One in particular told me how she knew that coming into the game,
She wasnt the best writer, but that because her readers supported her,
She went back to the drawing board and tightened up her game,
What was most enlightening and touching was their sense of support,
They talked about pooling resources and helping the next one.
One of them had me rolling out, by saying they learned from the foreigners,
They learned to put their money together,
Publish one book, hit the streets hustling it,
Then go back publish another book,
Then do the hustle thing again,
Until they all had their chance at it!
I loved that and it reinforced my belief in young folks and their tenacity,
I asked them how the dealt with the negativity surrounding,
Street Lit, Erotica, etc.,
And they told me what is probably the key to them 'makin' it...
They said,
"We don't deal with it, we continue to put in work, hustle our product and support our own habits, if we listened to all that, we would get nothing done!"
I applauded that and I knew from whence they spoke,
I also know that many of us elders could learn a lot from, Listening to the Youngsters!

Love and Blessings,
angelia
http://www.angeliavmenchan.com/

Not Talking...Shhhh!

Words are so powerful…we all know that as readers, writers, speakers,
My question this morning is how powerful is the lack of words…
I am always fascinated by people, who say so powerfully,
‘I’m not talking to so and so…’
My curiosity runs me down and takes me over,
Making me wonder exactly what they were trying to accomplish with their silence,
I had never asked anyone what was the intent of that until yesterday…
I was talking to a coworker and we had covered all the changes we had gone through in our agency in the past couple of years,
And how we were looking forward to slowing down a bit in the upcoming fiscal year,
We then started talking about our activities,
Of course we segued to people,
She commented that she wasn’t talking to X,
After all these years of wondering I asked,
“How is your not talking to her supposed to impact her?”
The look of surprise on her face was priceless…
I knew that she had given it some thought but was unable to articulate what she thought the result would be,
Finally, she asked what I meant,
I told her that I had never been able to grasp or understand,
The concept of punishment by not talking…
Because most of us are so busy, that unless the person is in some way so valuable to us,
There is a good chance the person won’t even realize it,
Or they may in fact consider it an un-prayed for blessing…
Her face colored because I knew I had hit the nail on the head,
Somewhere inside her being she had really felt that she would cause some kind of feelings in the person she wasn’t communicating with,
The idea that potentially she wouldn’t had never occurred to her…
She asked me how did I deal when people stopped talking to me…
I told her simply,
That if they were important to me, I asked them, trying to figure out how to resolve it,
Otherwise I didn’t notice it and in the case where I did I chose to embrace the silence…
I went on to tell her that I was currently in a season of silence from a few folks,
She asked me why,
And I told her that because I had to clean up my commitments and what I could take on,
Many had gotten quiet on me and gone completely ghost in some cases,
She asked how did I feel about it,
I told her I was grateful, because it showed me what my value was to those people,
And at this point in my life,
I don’t have a great deal of time to spend in situations that lack value…
She nodded in understanding, telling me I gave her something to think about,
I nodded back…

Love, Peace and Blessings…
Angelia

Teach 'Em What?

I have epiphanies at the most amazing times,
Yesterday I was standing at the sink washing my hands and a sister walked in with her little girl, and that child was as shiny faced and lovely as sunshine…
Mama was explaining to her child what not to touch and all those age old lessons our mothers taught us,
You all know the ones,
Don’t sit on the toilet seat in public bathrooms,
Don’t drink behind people,
Wipe off the can before you sip from it, etc.
Good lessons all…
But what played in my mind was that one day this girl was going to be a teenager,
A young adult and she was going to date,
And I wondered if that same mother who had taken the time to dress her up so pretty,
Or cared as much as she obviously did by telling her basic hygienic principles,
Would she take the time to tell that girl how to protect herself from sexually transmitted disease…how to say no to activities that weren’t good for her…how to demand love, honor and respect…
In this world where STD rates are rising and women, particularly women of color are being affected by HIV at alarming rates, those women who teach their daughters not to sit on the toilet seat had better be telling them how to be safe,
How to protect themselves, how to stay alive, how to have expectations of being honored,
Respected and loved…
And that they have the absolute right to refuse to do anything under the sun, that they do Not wish to do or that they know is inherently wrong for them…
It is our responsibility along with all the other wisdom we past on,
To teach our young sisters….
How to LIVE….

Love and Blessings,
angelia

It's What They Aren't Saying!

We have all been taught to listen carefully to what people say,
And how they say it,
Just last week one of people in my office was talking to me about a project and
Wanted me to buy in to what they had done,
Knowing that it wasn’t going to happen because they had gone beyond the parameters of what should have occurred, I knew I had to speak on it…
I knew that my kindler, gentler approach wouldn’t work,
So I gave it to him straight-no chaser,
When we are talking 100Ks that is the only way to do,
I saw some gulping, and a bit of swallowing,
Finally understanding and clarity,
After that we discussed other things,
Upon his departure he said something that,
Touched me beyond work,
“Thanks Angelia, I just learned a lot, because I know that I had to focus on what you were saying, not how you were saying it…” I smiled graciously,
Because often we miss our lessons when we listen to the how and not the what…
However, many times you can see a person’s position based on what they don’t say,
On this momentous occasion, where for the first time in history an African American is the Democratic nominee,
Not one person has uttered a word,
The silence is deafening,
Only because for the past eight years there have been comments ad nauseum,
About the current administration and how ready for change everyone is,
Not only hasn’t a word been said,
But the newspaper hasn’t even been unfolded,
Again unprecedented,
As the only AA person in my office,
That speaks volumes,
Whether it is realized or not,
Because many times, it is what they aren’t saying,


Peace!
angelia